Terrified of surgery.

[TheSunWillShine 2]

I'm 18 years old and I'm 430lbs. Wear a 3xl shirt and a 26 pants. I'm thinking of getting the sleeve but I'm terrified. I've seen photos and videos of people who've lost the ammo it I'm supposed to lose (around 130lbs) and they look terrible. I'm proud of them for being confident and stuff with the skin and what not. But I've dealt with self esteem problems my whole life. And I know if I lose my beasts and my thighs and stomach will be saggy it Will hurt my self esteem even more. Is there anything I can do to help my chest and thighs stay they way they are. My chest is about a 44E and my thighs aren't that big. I'm not that huge, my stomach is the biggest part on my body. It isn't round of sitting up high it's kinda like a pouch that hangs I plan on walking about 2 miles a day 7 days a week and about 70 squats a day along with other cardio. I don't have money for any reconstruction. I can deal with a little sagginess in my stomach because it kinda sags now. I just don't want to have booby down to my belly button or flat chested and I really don't want my thighs looking like candles. I was looking into the lap band and seeing if that's better than the sleeve for this. But I'm so confused. I don't wanna sound like a bad person, I just don't want to be more depressed than I am. And, do you lose weight not doing anything or do you have to work out ect. I was wondering because I wanted to see if it was possible for me to stop losing when I needed/wanted.

Do squats and running and cardio help with gaining lean thighs and a butt. Or will I lose everything.

[FunkyMunkyBrat 205]

Well, one good thing is, at 18 your skin should rebound alot better than at 50 so it might not end up being as bad as you anticipate.. I completely understand the self esteem issue.. And it sucks.. But you're only 18 and 430#s.. What happens as you get older n heavier or older and have health issues that end up making you gain more weight and lose mobility.. I want my mobility mostly right now.. I'll deal with the skin stuff when I have to.. I wish you the best whatever you decide to do!

Munky

[MissJDVSG 129]

I'm still pre-op, and I understand where you are coming from. I'm 27, and I would of course prefer not to have extra or loose skin after I lose weight. I've been overweight most of my life, and have had some self esteem issues based on that, as well.

So, these are some thoughts I have based on your question:

I know you don't want to lose the parts of yourself that you like, but I know from experience (I've lost about 100 pounds before) that when you lose weight, you will lose at least some weight from your breasts and might have some loose skin.

Here's the most important thing: your health, your ability to LIVE a long and healthy life, is much more important than worrying about loose skin. You say that you can't afford plastic surgery, but that might not be the case forever (because it will take you a year or two to get to your maintainable weight anyway- I'm not sure what your height is, but you've probably got about 200-250 pounds to lose).

I know that you want to look good, that's natural, we all want that. But you will feel so much better with weight loss, your confidence will naturally rise. And you will look better at a smaller weight.

Think about it, as we get older, we (obese) people tend to put on more and more weight, even if slowly. At some point, our weight will get to a point where it impacts our health, our mobility, and our ability to live a normal life.

You say you don't want to be more depressed than you are. But with weight loss, a lot of people find that their depression improves. And with weight loss, it will mean you can exercise more easily, which is a natural anti-depressant. Even if your post-weight loss body doesn't look Hollywood perfect, you will feel so much better.

And in terms of the lap-band, I'm not an expert, but I don't recommend it. It's not good for as much weight as you need to lose. Also, I've had 5 friends who have had it, and they all have had some long term complication with it. Some surgeons don't even do them anymore. Regardless, the impact on your body will be the same. It took a while for you to get to 430 pounds, but with surgery you will drop weight quickly, which leads to potential for loose skin.

I am almost done with the pre-op process for my insurance and will have my sleeve in about 2 months. I am scared of surgery and I was worried about lose skin, but I just want to feel good again. I want to be able to be more active, I want to have kids and be able to chase them, professionally people take fit people more seriously and treat them with more respect than obese people, and I want to live a long life. These are the reasons why I am doing this. I too don't have money to just drop on plastic surgery (I'm 330, I'll probably need some after I get to my goal of around 140), but I created a savings plan for myself, where I put away a small amount of my paycheck every week into savings for surgery.

In regard to your exercise question, during the first 6-8 months, tho weight will come off without exercise because you are eating so little, because your stomach can't hold more. During this time, it's important to establish good healthy eating habits. However, you should exercise, not only because it will make the weight loss faster, but it will also tone your body (somewhat improving loose skin), but also because it naturally feels good to exercise (it releases good endorphins in your body). Also, you will need exercise for later in your journey, when you can eat larger portions, in order to help maintain your weight loss.

You are still so young, you have so much living left to do. Loose skin/smaller breasts are nothing to be ashamed of, and they won't kill you the way morbid obesity will. If you can, have the surgery and begin your new life.

Keep in mind that you are beautiful and worthwhile regardless of appearance. But when you lose weight and become naturally more confident, it will show on you in the best way! Don't let fear hold you back from getting a surgery that will definitely improve your quality of life.

If you ever want to talk, feel free to private message me.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[morningangel79 38]

The way I'm looking at it is this.... Would you rather have worse health problems or excess skin... I choose excess skin.

Sent from my LG-H811 using the BariatricPal App

[2ndSpring 350]

@@MissJDVSG made such a thoughtful post and she said it all very well.

The only thing I would add is that there are a lot of other factors to consider besides appearance. Imagine your daily life and make a list of all the Pros and Cons that surgery would bring. Loose skin and surgery risks are definitely on the Con side, but there may be a whole list of happy things on the Pro side. For me, some of the Pros I am looking forward to are: riding a rollercoaster; going to the mall and being able to shop in any clothes store; fitting on airplane seats; and crossing my legs.

Best wishes

[MissJDVSG 129]

@@MissJDVSG made such a thoughtful post and she said it all very well.

The only thing I would add is that there are a lot of other factors to consider besides appearance. Imagine your daily life and make a list of all the Pros and Cons that surgery would bring. Loose skin and surgery risks are definitely on the Con side, but there may be a whole list of happy things on the Pro side. For me, some of the Pros I am looking forward to are: riding a rollercoaster; going to the mall and being able to shop in any clothes store; fitting on airplane seats; and crossing my legs.

Best wishes

Aww, thank you!

That's a brilliant idea, I love pro/con lists and they really help to lay things more clearly.

I also cannot wait to be able to ride a roller coaster again! I haven't in 10 years! That will be an awesome non-scale victory.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[TheSunWillShine 2]

Thanks everyone. I didn't wanna sound stubborn with asking, I just already have so many mental illnesses because of my body. I was so focused on the negative of the situation I didn't realize how happy I'd be to get to do more things. I was just afraid to think of not wearing shorts or tank tops again. But, I'll work out everyday and do what I can to make it the best I can. I wasn't worrying about losing some of my boobs and stuff like that I've just seen so many photos of people who have lost less than me and regret it because of the way they look. I am going to get the sleeve because a lot of people say whomever gets the band these days are wackjobs.

[81Kellogram 101]

At 18 I know it's hard to not focus on the superficial. But you have to know that excess skin is the least of your problems. You are 430 lbs, you have a serious medical condition that will impact every facet of your life. You are so fortunate to have this surgery as an opton while you are so incredibly young. Sure, you may not have the funds now to have the excess skin removed, but believe me, loose the weight and the world will be your oyster. There's no telling what you will be capable of in the future. Good luck!

[Vinasu 621]

Honestly, I have yet to see someone say they regret the surgery because of the excess skin. I sure don't.

I may not have a perfect bikini bod, but I look damned good fully clothed, and I can do things I never dreamed of when morbidly obese. Yesterday, I went cross country skiing for the first time ever. I and my saggy skin had an amazing time.

Talk to a therapist about this.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

[deb2571 70]

Spanx!!! It's a wonderful thing!

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

[MissJDVSG 129]

Thanks everyone. I didn't wanna sound stubborn with asking, I just already have so many mental illnesses because of my body. I was so focused on the negative of the situation I didn't realize how happy I'd be to get to do more things. I was just afraid to think of not wearing shorts or tank tops again. But, I'll work out everyday and do what I can to make it the best I can. I wasn't worrying about losing some of my boobs and stuff like that I've just seen so many photos of people who have lost less than me and regret it because of the way they look. I am going to get the sleeve because a lot of people say whomever gets the band these days are wackjobs.

I know what you mean! I worry about having loose skin on my arms and then maybe not being able to wear sleeveless tops as much. But then I see bigger ladies rocking sleeveless tops with chunky arms, so maybe it's just a matter of confidence?

But, in regular clothing, you can wear Spanx and what not to feel more confident. I would suggest making a plan for how to slowly save for plastic surgery, if that kind of proactive thing makes you feel better.

You're still young, which works in your favor in terms of your skin snapping back to its former self. I've also read that (believe me, I've googled this A LOT, haha) staying well hydrated helps the skin, moisturizing well helps, dry brushing helps (because it stimulates cellular turnover to happen), and that strength training helps build muscle, which will help fill in loose skin.

Good luck with your journey. You'll find this app pretty helpful.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Blondie 6388 83]

I was sleeved 1/25/15 and have lost 82lbs I don't have skin to be removed but I need to tone up. I lost my butt and my breast are much smaller from loosing the fast off my chest. I just won a 2 month online personal trainer and I'm hoping to get some tips and get the last 30#s off. To have my health back to some point has been so uplifting and putting smaller clothes on feels awesome again. I never really have been over weight until I got sick and it took everything from me. Your to young to feel the way you do. This world is changing and you need to be ready for it.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App