I Need Help Please

[Guest lapbandpatient]

I have had my lapband for quite awhile and I am over half-way to my goal weight. A lot of you call me a success, however, I feel like an utter failure.

I eat the right foods and I exercise like I should, however, I am still a massive volume eater. That's not possible with the band, or so I thought.

Sometimes, I get home from work and I eat my "pre-dinner". Tonight we had a crock pot roast and I had about 4 ounces of the roast before DH got home. (Here comes the major problem I have) - I then realized I ate too much and forced myself to PB.

After DH came home, we had dinner. I, once again, had some roast. Probably about 4-6 ounces. Yet again, I ate too much but was OK for awhile. It became unbearable so I excused myself to go to the bathroom trying to PB. This time it was too late and I couldn't bring anything up but slime. It hurt quite a bit while I was trying to PB and I am sitting here still in extreme discomfort.

I want to stop this. I know I really need help. I am seeing a therapist for other issues and don't know when we can even start talking about this issue. I need to get this weight off of me for my health and my sanity.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

[Margie122 845]

Hi,

I'm not banded yet, but I thought I would respond. Are you eating because you are bored/sad/tired etc? Were you really hungry when you had the first 4 oz of roast? Why did you eat with your husband? Did you do it to be social or were you really hungry? I would not beat yourself up over it, but try to move on from it and remember just how uncomfortable you are feeling right now.

The purposely PB'ing is a concern. Is this something you do a lot? I never considered myself "bulimic" but a few times, maybe 3-4 times over my adult life I ate SO SO much that I had to force myself to throw up. Are you telling yourself it's ok to eat so much because you can just PB it back up???

Also, are you getting enough fluids in between each meal?

Sorry I can't be of much help, but please know that you are not alone, and others have done it too. At least you recognize what it is your doing, even if it is after the fact. Hopefully you can try to stop yourself next time.

Best of luck,

Margie

[gailannr 1]

Good one Jack!

[green 6]

Jack has given you solid advice for it does seem to me like you are currently caught up in a self-destructive cycle of over-eating and then despising yourself. Forcing yourself to PB is likely part of the punishment which you force upon yourself for your so-called bad behaviour.

Do as Jack has said: focus on your achievements to date. You have been successful in losing a lot of weight. And remember that we are all bandsters because we all have problems with food choices and with Portion Control. We all feel your pain and we have all worn the same T-shirt.

Do try to avoid PBing because this can be bad for your band and your esophagus. If you do feel that you are in a period of your life where you will be prone to overeating for emotional reasons, get a defill; by doing this you will avoid stretching your pouch or causing your band to slip. You can always return to your journey later. And by the way, eating 8-10 ounces of roast beef is a much healthier choice than finishing an entire pizza.

You might want to print out Jack's inspirational post and keep it where you can reread it from time to time.

You have hit a rocky patch but I believe that you will do just fine. You have already lost an impressive amount of weight.

[Dr. Mike 0]

I have had my lapband for quite awhile and I am over half-way to my goal weight. A lot of you call me a success, however, I feel like an utter failure.

I eat the right foods and I exercise like I should, however, I am still a massive volume eater. That's not possible with the band, or so I thought.

Sometimes, I get home from work and I eat my "pre-dinner". Tonight we had a crock pot roast and I had about 4 ounces of the roast before DH got home. (Here comes the major problem I have) - I then realized I ate too much and forced myself to PB.

After DH came home, we had dinner. I, once again, had some roast. Probably about 4-6 ounces. Yet again, I ate too much but was OK for awhile. It became unbearable so I excused myself to go to the bathroom trying to PB. This time it was too late and I couldn't bring anything up but slime. It hurt quite a bit while I was trying to PB and I am sitting here still in extreme discomfort.

I want to stop this. I know I really need help. I am seeing a therapist for other issues and don't know when we can even start talking about this issue. I need to get this weight off of me for my health and my sanity.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Now, over eating is something we do when we really feel like disappearing, but don't have either the will or power to commit suicide. It stems from anxiety, depression and past traumas poorly dealt with. What you can do, in a room, alone, run over your life's traumas, see what can bring a tear to your eyes, and for everything that can bring a tear, you have to really cry like a baby, feel as sad as you can, and cry till there are no more tears.

With a band, and overeating, you can do serious damage to the esophagus, causing tears, that can kill because the bleed severely.

As soon as you treat your life's traumas, you will find it easier to eat smaller quantities and feel better with yourself.

Now, the most important thing, don't hate your body. It is only the result of past actions and thoughts. Now that you are on a better path, just look ahead, feel thinner, and think that you ARE thinner, and that will empower you to reach your goals.

[Dr. Mike 0]

If you feel like talking, call me at 520 632 7568, Mon-Fri office hours.

[Guest lapbandpatient]

Thank you so much for your responses, I truly appreciate it.

Jack, thank you very much for your wisdom and "gentle smack". I have always admired your wisdom and advice.

I am a long-time member of LBT, but could not bring myself to post this under my normal name. If that is against the TOS, I apologize, but I just couldn't.

Dr. Mike, thank you for your concern, but I am nowhere near there.

I eat mass quantities due to habit (yes, still after all this time).

I am terribly afraid that I will slip my band with the PBing. Yesterday, although I did not make the best choices, I did not overeat to the point where I felt the need to PB. I will tackle this with baby steps. If I cannot stop, I will be forced to get the unfill that was suggested.

[Wendell Edwards 73]

I have had my lapband for quite awhile and I am over half-way to my goal weight. A lot of you call me a success, however, I feel like an utter failure.

I eat the right foods and I exercise like I should, however, I am still a massive volume eater. That's not possible with the band, or so I thought.

Sometimes, I get home from work and I eat my "pre-dinner". Tonight we had a crock pot roast and I had about 4 ounces of the roast before DH got home. (Here comes the major problem I have) - I then realized I ate too much and forced myself to PB.

After DH came home, we had dinner. I, once again, had some roast. Probably about 4-6 ounces. Yet again, I ate too much but was OK for awhile. It became unbearable so I excused myself to go to the bathroom trying to PB. This time it was too late and I couldn't bring anything up but slime. It hurt quite a bit while I was trying to PB and I am sitting here still in extreme discomfort.

I want to stop this. I know I really need help. I am seeing a therapist for other issues and don't know when we can even start talking about this issue. I need to get this weight off of me for my health and my sanity.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Hi, what you are describing falls into the catagory of bulimia.

I recommend you talk to a qualified medical professional or counselor about this.

[make33 2]

I totally agree with Wendell. I was bulimic for four years (late 80's) and I still have an occasional episode. It IS psychological and my suggestion would be to open up a discussion with your therapist about this behavior.

You're not crazy!! It happens to the best of us... Hang in there, girl...

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I am a long-time member of LBT, but could not bring myself to post this under my normal name. If that is against the TOS, I apologize, but I just couldn't.

So what if you are breaking a TOS rule. I don't know that you are and I for one, don't care and I'll bet a dollar every other member feels the same way. You need to do what you need to do. I seriously doubt any mod here would think twice about this.

Let's face it, we are all in the same boat regarding quantities of food. Some work through it faster than others. I still have my days, I think we all do. I think the key is what you do when you have one of those moments.

I have a friend that I can call (Julissa) and she totally gets it. She gives me a verbal kick in the butt, tells me how it is, gets me back to this reality, and I'm good to go. For me I just need to get through that moment. Once I am beyond that moment I am good to go but sometimes I need a little help getting through the moment.

What if you had a person that has been there/done that kinda thing that you could call to get you through your own moment? Someone that won't judge you but really cares? Someone that relates to the same thing? Someone that struggles with the same food issues?

You can call me any bloody time you want. Just PM me and I'll give you my number. I keep my phone with me 24/7 most of the time. If you can get to the phone before you get to the food, it makes a world of difference.

If not me then find someone. I doubt there is a person here that wouldn't take a similar call. We are all in this together, right?

(((HUGS)))