Dashofpixiedust8 1,469 Posted November 21, 2016 Hey everyone, Maybe this has been done before but I need some help thinking of some sassy comebacks for this Thanksgiving. Where I'm going my family can have a pretty sharp tongue. When I talk to them on the phone can just say I have to go but I can't do that in person. I know I am sensitive about comments and I need something to reply when they say something. Last time I went to thanksgiving there I spent pretty much the whole time outside crying even though they didn't say anything outright nasty. It's just every time someone came invthey saw me and were like "hey" then they saw my sister and were like "omg, Jessica! You look absolutely amazing! Look at the beautiful young woman you have become. It's so great to see you" she has always been thin. When I talk to my grandmother and Great Aunt on the phone they say similar things like: "Did you ever think you would lose weight?" "How did you ever let yourself get that bad?" "Maybe when you get skinny you'll make more friends." "Once you get thin you'll be beautiful, I won't recognize you." I just know I'm going to have to deal with a lot of insult/compliments. What are some of the things you guys say to things like that? I would really like to be prepared. I've lost 150 pounds since I saw them last. Highest weight: 540 Surgery weight (5/27/16): 480 Current weight: 353 Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
coodaben 21 Posted November 21, 2016 You don't need a snappy comeback, your weight loss is all you need. One thing you don't need is critical people who don't understand anything we have gone through. You don't need to impress anyone. It's not about them. This is all about you, your weight issues, your choice to improve. Just go and if anyone says any thing, tell them the truth. "I don't need all the fats and carbs...so enjoy." Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theantichick 2,204 Posted November 21, 2016 I'm not sure I have anything helpful to offer because the comments you've quoted are ridiculously rude and hurtful. Family or not, I don't associate with people who behave like that with me anymore. I will say something like "I'm going to assume you didn't mean to be hurtful or rude with that comment, so here's your one chance to try that again before I walk away." The follow-through is necessary or they just won't get it. I have family members who I haven't spoken to in years because they've been awful to me, and I believe you teach people how to treat you. If they truly care about maintaining a relationship with you, they'll apologize and start thinking twice about what they say to you, or at least will try to make amends after you disassociate with them for a few months. I no longer have room in my life for toxic people, whether or not they are related to me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bissara 18 Posted November 21, 2016 You can be proud of yourself you lost so much weight. No need to listen to all the negative comments try to stay above it,ignore it. Way to go girl down to 353 ... Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
melunruh 91 Posted November 21, 2016 The devil in me wants you to go on the attack, "OMG aunt xyz, do great to see you! Looks like you're enjoying all the holiday goodies! ". The more angelic side of me would reply to the 'you're going to be so beautiful when you lose weight' with a 'Thank you, but I'm already beautiful.' Then turn and talk to someone else. Sent from my SM-N900T using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dashofpixiedust8 1,469 Posted November 21, 2016 @@melunruh Thank you, that might be a good thing to say. I actually do feel beautiful for the first time in 7 years Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dashofpixiedust8 1,469 Posted November 21, 2016 @@theantichick that's true. It's hard to cut family out Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dashofpixiedust8 1,469 Posted November 21, 2016 @@bissara I am proud of what I've done. It's been amazing. It's hard to have my mind and self confidence catch up to my weight loss! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App @@coodaben I do need to try and focus more on myself. It's hard sometimes for me to do that Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MissJDVSG 129 Posted November 21, 2016 This doesn't directly answer your question, but I just wanted to say that it is crazy how people think it's okay to comment/openly criticize other people's bodies. Family or not, this can be very traumatizing. And it's also crazy how differently society treats skinny versus any level of fat. If they give you any grief, you tell them that you were amazing and worthwhile before and it's a shame that it took weight loss for them to treat you that way (and that you're obviously amazing and worthwhile now still). ❤️ Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dashofpixiedust8 1,469 Posted November 21, 2016 @@MissJDVSG I agree. I don't know why people think the have a right to talk about other people's bodies Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reree6898 1,164 Posted November 21, 2016 @@MissJDVSG I agree. I don't know why people think the have a right to talk about other people's bodies Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App I don't get it either. A few folks knew I was having the surgery last year and there is one person who asks a lot of questions which is ok but one day she just out right asked me what I weighed. I just gave her this shocked look and said well anyway.... And changed the subject. Folks are nuts sometimes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jrb2elb 0 Posted November 21, 2016 I haven't gone to any family gatherings in two years because of how I'm treated about my weight. Sent from my SM-N900V using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highfunctioningfatman 2,675 Posted November 22, 2016 Kiss my saggy ass! WTF is wrong with you? Are you really this crazy? Why do you think that I give a flying crap? Ummm, check it out as i walk away from your insult grandma! Wow! You really are ugly inside and you can't do sh!t about it. At least I did something about my problems. Me being me, I would laugh like a hyena on meth and then start singing I feel pretty in the highest voice possible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rubia72 200 Posted November 22, 2016 I'm not so sure I would want to spend time with people who hurt me like that. You might want to let them know that their comments are hurting your feelings and you would like them to stop. If you can't be honest with your family then with who? I'm sorry [emoji52] if this isn't helpful, be careful and take care. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aggiemae 739 Posted November 22, 2016 Kiss my saggy ass! WTF is wrong with you? Are you really this crazy? Why do you think that I give a flying crap? Ummm, check it out as i walk away from your insult grandma! Wow! You really are ugly inside and you can't do **** about it. At least I did something about my problems. Me being me, I would laugh like a hyena on meth and then start singing I feel pretty in the highest voice possible. My "go to": "heres a thought, YOU work on not being such thoughtless, mean spirited bitch and I try to lose 50 pounds. Let's see who meets their goal first!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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