Dating (ugh)

[ryan_86 335]

So, mix a lifelong social anxiety with serious body issues and you get a recently sleeved 30 year old with near-zero dating experience. But I'm 30, lonely, looking pretty good, so I want to see if I can find somebody.

How does dating work these days? What's it like to date after having surgery? How do you answer first-date questions like "Is that all you're eating" and "Why don't you drink alcohol?"

Anyone have any advice in general?

Thx.

[higher 966]

You should try online dating. Set a week or two aside where you just say yes to as many dates as possible and don't assign too much importance to any one date. Just focus on getting comfortable with putting yourself out there and the rest will flow from there. That's the great thing about dating in 2016!

I don't advise discussing surgery on the first date if you can avoid it. Personally I hate dinner dates anyway, try meeting for coffee, museums + galleries, go see a band or a play, hang out in the park....stuff that doesn't necessarily entail food/booze.

[highfunctioningfatman 2,675]

I agree 100% with online dating and going out a lot. Don't get your hopes up that something will just happen and you'll mee the right one easily. I met my wife on match.Com but I dated probably 30 women before I found her. I first started dating that I thought were what I wanted in a woman and I went on some crappy dates. Finally I had enough of that and I made a list of everything that I didn't want in a woman and adjusted to find women that as long as they didn't fall in the "nope" list I would go out with them. I went on some really great dates. Oddly enough my wife is everything that I wanted from my original thoughts and so much more.

[Brandeis 401]

If you do online dating, absolutely do not give in to the urge to talk to the person endlessly before actually meeting up for a date. It can be very tempting to chat via text or email or what have you for days or weeks before you ever see them face-to-face, and this can always be a huge let down. People are different, online, than they are IRL. And you'll never know if you have that chemistry until you're with them!

Online dating can be a great way to find like minded people, but schedule the date as soon as you know the person isn't a creep/annoying!!

[QueenOfTheTamazons 634]

Be open to other forms of meeting people, not specifically to find a mate, and actively work to make that happen. Take classes, go to movies/plays/events. Volunteer somewhere.

I met my husband in a Medifast chat room. I was chatting with a friend and he logged on to talk with her as well. Nine months later we moved in together and 5 years after that we got married.

HW 385 SW 359 CW 331 (54lbs down!) Sleeved 10/5/16

[missdeeAus 69]

I can totally relate to this. What are people's thoughts on WHEN to start dating? Do you wait until ur close to goal weight? Or start ASAP because it might take years? Do you advertise that your 'plus size'? Do you put up a nice picture and hope u don't disappoint? The whole online thing absolutely does my head in but it's much harder to meet single people in day to day life after turning 30. It's seems to me that's the only way these days. Oh to be 21 again.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[pixystix0116 71]

I'm not currently doing the online thing (have in the past with mixed results) but I have wondered about this too. How do you open that convo up about WLS? How do you make a total stranger understand the metamorphosis that is taking place? Im still just getting started with a long road ahead of me. Part of me would really like to find someone to walk with me through all this someone who could like me big or small, and another part of me would rather wait and seek out a partner after the weight loss process is done and its just about maintaining. I don't know what's right lol. I don't really have anything helpful to add to the original posters question, just that I'm rowing along in a similar boat and wish you the best. Good luck to all us singles!

[highfunctioningfatman 2,675]

I personally would recommend waiting until closer to your goal weight due to hormone dumping out of your fat cells. Hormones can do crazy things!