First World Problems with Friends

[Alfred Day 90]

I need to vent, and it's about how privileged I am to have friends, so please forgive me in advance.

My surgery is scheduled for Nov. 30. My sister lives with me, but doesn't drive. I have several friends who are trying to be supportive through the surgery and be there for me. Therein lies the problem.

I've had at least 3 friends offer to give me a ride to and from the hospital. I won't get a time for the surgery until the day before, so I won't be able to tell them what time I'll need a ride to the hospital, and the time and day I need to be brought home will be determined by my recovery so I can't tell them when to pick me up until right before.

My sister wanted to go with me to provide support, but since she doesn't drive, I would have to figure out a way to get her a ride home from the hospital after the surgery. She has friends that live about an hour away, so having them come to give her a 10 minute ride home from the hospital to my house doesn't make sense.

So I've been working on any number of variations on plans that allow me to get a ride to the hospital, get my sister home, and then get home myself a day or two later, but that would also allow my friends to provide rides which seems very important to them.

Yesterday, my sister told me that she feels weird about going to the hospital and then getting a ride home from someone she doesn't know, so she's gonna go visit her friends for Thanksgiving and just stay with them another week so I don't have to worry about getting her to and from the hospital. Which simplify's matters greatly.

What I'd prefer to do: Catch an Uber to the hospital on the day of surgery and catch an Uber from the hospital when I'm released. Between those rides, friends can visit to their hearts content.

Trying to convince my friends of the beauty of this simple idea is proving extremely challenging, as they seem to think I'm just trying to be tough and do this alone. Nothing could be further from the truth, as what I'm really trying to do is simplify what should be the easiest part of the process, but what is quickly becoming the most convoluted part. I've put more thought into rides to the hospital than I have in the actual surgery.

[Malin 470]

Uber is a good idea actually. And you are truly blessed to have so many people caring about you. But I completely understand. Logistics do not have to be hard..but the more well-intentioned people get involved the more complicated it gets.

[Butterflywarrior 241]

Uber USA great however I don't think hospitals prefer to release ppl unattended to a driving service but maybe that only applies to same day procedures...

It's nice to have so much love and support but coordinating all of that is definitely unwanted hassle and drama while preparing for surgery

[heidikat72 935]

My hospital would not have released me to an Uber driver/taxi driver, public transport etc. So make sure you check with your hospital. They want to make sure you have someone looking out for you. Uber would definitely be an option to get you to the hospital though.

If your friends want to help - let them (and this is coming from someone who hates to ask for help - I had to get over that) but don't be afraid to set boundaries too (I had to firmly tell two friends that I really did not need anyone staying with me at home after surgery). You surgeon should be able to tell you what the typical hospital stay for his patients are (mine was 2 nights). Then that morning, they should be able to give you a good idea of what time that day you'll be released. I'm sure one of your friends wouldn't mind being on "standby" that day to bring you home.

[Skro 1]

I drove myself to the airport to fly to the town the hospital was in. Took a taxi to the hospital. After surgery I took a taxi to to the airport, took a plane back home and drove myself 2.5 hours back home. I had no problems at all driving.

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[Kdjae314 12]

Have one friend drive you, another friend stay with you a while and friend drive you home, and explain that its YOUR surgeru. Its lovely that you have a support system but this support system shouldnt be stressing you out. I hope your surgery goes well and you have a fantastic recovery!

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[Pam924 84]

Crazy, right? This time should be about you, and here you are trying to arrange it, knowing full well if the situation were reversed, you would make it happen for friends and family. Sorry. How frustrating for you.

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[gpmed 623]

I'll cut right to the chase:

What I'd prefer to do: Catch an Uber to the hospital on the day of surgery and catch an Uber from the hospital when I'm released. Between those rides, friends can visit to their hearts content.

Do this.

It's your surgery and time of need. When someone offers support in your time of need, it's up to you to decide whether you want that support and politely accept or decline. Then it's up to your family and friends to respect that you know what you want and what's best for yourself and accept your decision.

Remember, this YOUR time of need, not their time of need.

[MowryRocks 679]

I hear ya, however...consider taking an Uber to the hospital and having a friend take you home. Considering that unless your hospital has a pharmacy on site, you will be likely to need prescriptions filled. When I was in surgery, they also located a hernia that we were unaware of prior to the procedure which they repaired, this meant I got to go home after one day, but needed help getting up, needed assistance for my first shower, and God Bless my husband, but help in the bathroom as well. While I am sure that you will not need your friends for such intimate, care having someone you trust to help you secure pain/nausea meds can be a plus!

Either way the ultimate decision relies with you.

Also, check with your hospital...mine offers a free pick up and take home service.

[Alfred Day 90]

Considering that unless your hospital has a pharmacy on site, you will be likely to need prescriptions filled.

I went ahead and had the prescriptions filled ahead of time and have them already at home.

Also, check with your hospital...mine offers a free pick up and take home service.

This is a really good idea. I hadn't thought to check. Thanks!

[MowryRocks 679]

Considering that unless your hospital has a pharmacy on site, you will be likely to need prescriptions filled.

I went ahead and had the prescriptions filled ahead of time and have them already at home.

Also, check with your hospital...mine offers a free pick up and take home service.

This is a really good idea. I hadn't thought to check. Thanks!

Good Looking out! I wish I had thought to get scripts beforehand!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

This is easy, really.

Uber there.

You WILL NOT want anyone there post op. I didn't and you sound even more stubborn and ornery than me. (That's a compliment.)

Stop being hard headed and let someone who cares about you drive you home. It's a ten minute drive. They can help you inside, settle you on the couch, pour you some Water and get out.

It's OK to accept help sometimes, no matter how much some us don't like it. My hospital wouldn't have released me to an Uber, nor should they.

You will have a few hours notice of your release. It's going to work out fine.