Shame

[Anna Livia 7]

Hi everyone, my question is pre-surgery, did any of you feel shame about seeking your gastric sleeve surgery? and if you did, how did you cope and do you have any advice about coping with this feeling? I feel terrible shame. I'm going to meet with my GP on Friday and dread asking for a referral to a consultant so much that my husband is coming with me for support. I live in Ireland and this kind of surgery is the exception rather than the rule. I am very disabled from severe osteoarthritis and live in chronic pain and it is for this reason that I would like to have gastric surgery. I have researched and thought about gastric surgery for about nearly 2 years following knee surgery.

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[blizair09 3,250]

Actually, I was/am quite the opposite. I have always been proud that I found the strength, grit, and perseverance to seek out a path, including a gastric sleeve surgery, that would lead me to a healthy weight. I have been open with anyone and everyone all along, and I dare anyone to say one out-of-line to me about it.

[Anna Livia 7]

Thanks for your reply. I admire your attitude.

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[_Kate_ 2,224]

@@Anna Livia

I am in England and my GP was very supportive both when I had the surgery and since (I did go private rather than wait 3 years or so).

Don't feel shame, be proud that you want to do something about your health. It's no easy ride, believe me but so worth it. You might be surprised how supportive your Doctor is. The way the NHS is going, I wouldn't be shocked to see GP's recommending this for patients more often. In the long run it will save them a lot of money and their patients a lot of ill health. Win win situation.

Hold your head high and good luck for Friday !!

[Treadmillwalker 486]

Yes, I felt shame. I had lapband surgery and my doctor requires all weightloss patients to go through 6 months of classes pre-surgery. I also joined the monthly post surgery support group led by a dietician in my surgeon's office. This has helped me. I realize I'm not alone in my shame and embarrassment. I've tried every diet, meal plan, shots, etc. only to regain the weight. I think I've spent $15,000 US dollars through the years and numerous attempts. You are not alone. Big hug.

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[blizair09 3,250]

Thanks for your reply. I admire your attitude.

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I admire your courage. Stay the course and you will find the success you are looking for.

All my best!

[Treadmillwalker 486]

I want to share I don't tell people I had lapband surgery. I tell people when we are out to eat if they ask that I'm focused on eating healthier and losing weight. This is all true. Post surgery you have a tool, but you still have to make the changes. Every magazine talks about chew food thoroughly. Eat small portions. High Protein and low carb. Exercise. Watch portions. These are all things a person should do if they want to lose weight regardless of having surgery or not.

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[Anna Livia 7]

Thanks _Kate_ unfortunately I haven't found my GP to be very approachable before. His attitude in the past has been "well just stop eating! As there there is only one bariatric surgeon practising in public health here in Ireland the wait can be 4 or so years. I'm hoping I will get approval from my insurance company because of my arthritis even though my BMI is just below 40. I know this surgery will be the tool I need to become mobile again

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[Anna Livia 7]

Thanks Treadmillwalker, finding this app and its community has made a huge difference to me, I have learnt so much in just a few days and it's great to get feedback (pardon the pun) and make contact with other people going through this surgery

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[Vinasu 621]

Yes. I was ashamed of myself for letting it get so bad. I was ashamed that I couldn't just "stop eating." No one outside my immediate family knows about the surgery, but the surgery has really helped me deal with the shame. I look and feel normal. I am so happy and active now, but having done this I know beyond any doubt it would not have been possible without surgery. I have stopped reproaching myself for being unable to lose the weight before because now it's clear it simply wasn't possible. I might as well be ashamed that I can't fly.

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[cbradley 23]

Anna, don't feel shame. I've decided on gastric bypass surgery. My surgery is scheduled for Dec 26th. I'm praying that you have the strength to make the best decision.

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[shellyd88 463]

I say please don't be shamed by your own mind or anyone else's comments do what you need to do to make your life better your health improve and your mobility no one else has to agree or like your decision it's your life and if you had any other illness or a disease would you not seek treatment?

[Sai 785]

I didn't feel shame but I think it's only because I had gotten to the point in my life that I was desperate for any type of real help. That was back in 2009. I got the lap band, and that helped tremendously for many years despite it being finicky. After that surgery, it gave me the hope and willpower I needed as far as weight was concern. Within 6 months, that feeling of hopelessness and hitting my rock bottom disappeared. When I was told that I should have a revision to sleeve, I saw it as an extension of that help that I know I will continually need to be successful to stay healthy.

[KCBO 18]

I felt ,feel shame. And remorse that I couldn't do this on my own, that I didn't take care of myself sooner. But at the same time, I am glad that I have realized that this is a problem I need help with. I don't want to die, get diabetes, heart disease etc. so if a little shame comes with the territory it worth it.

Also, how bad is the shame of continuing to be overweight? I almost die every time I fly, sit in a stadium, even getting dressed. I guess it's no different than people who find it hard to ask for help with alcoholism, drugs because of shame. Although we shouldn't feel shame for asking and receiving help with a problem, I do understand how you feel. I say get your courage up and go for it, time to end the shame!

.

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[Anna Livia 7]

Anna, don't feel shame. I've decided on gastric bypass surgery. My surgery is scheduled for Dec 26th. I'm praying that you have the strength to make the best decision.

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Wishing you a speedy recovery & a smooth transition

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