My husband doesn't know my weight...at all

[creatingthenewme 91]

Hello all. I received my insurance approval and an aiming to have surgery this month. My husband is aware of the surgery but he has NO idea how much I weigh. Yes, he could very well have an idea but I've never discussed it with him. He's 160 pounds or so and has never dealt with being overweight. My thought is that I will tell him my starting weight once I lose a lot of weight. Has anyone dealt with not telling their spouse? I know he'll be accepting of it but I still can't bring myself to tell him.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

You might not tell your husband your weight but if he touches and looks at you he knows your weight. Guys pick me up, literally and they have an idea of your weight. Men are more physical than us, he has an idea. Just tell him, you are married, it doesn't matter.

[nakole73 34]

Hello all. I received my insurance approval and an aiming to have surgery this month. My husband is aware of the surgery but he has NO idea how much I weigh. Yes, he could very well have an idea but I've never discussed it with him. He's 160 pounds or so and has never dealt with being overweight. My thought is that I will tell him my starting weight once I lose a lot of weight. Has anyone dealt with not telling their spouse? I know he'll be accepting of it but I still can't bring myself to tell him.

My husband is 6'2" and weighs maybe 175 pounds, maybe less. I'm 5'4" and weighed 282 on my surgery date which was 08/10/2016, I'm only down to 232 right now, but I have never told him my weight either. I may tell him after I get back down to 160 or so.

[QueenOfTheTamazons 634]

I dont understand why you wouldn't tell your husband your weight. He's the person you chose to spend your life with. This seems like a very silly secret in the grand scheme of things.

I tell my husband every time I hit a mini goal, or when I finally get to and lose 1.5lbs. He's not as appreciative of the latter, but still celebrates with me. I think you're missing out on a chance to embrace the process, his love for you and his admiration at your accomplishments.

Maybe its different for us because we are both big and met thru a weight loss program.

HW 385 SW 359 CW 335 (50lbs down!) Sleeved 10/5/16

[Aggiemae 739]

I have never once in 38 years told my husband my weight. I weighed 125lbs when we got married but my weight has always been a touchy subject.

He doesn't asks and he gets to stay married to me. It's a good deal both ways.

[kblanc 53]

Why wouldn't you tell your husband? He's suppose to be the one person you can tell anything to and feel confident in doing so. I tell my husband everything he is my biggest support he helps me weigh in, exercise correctly, measures me, and helps me with just about everything and gets as excited as I do when I hit a goal or whatever it may be.

Sent from my HTC Desire 626s using the BariatricPal App

[ZollDoll 21]

I have never told my fiance. He asks at times and I blow it off.

I ask him what he thinks I weigh. He always says WAY more than I really am but I have never told him. I expect him to find out on surgery day as I am sure the beds at the hospital will be the beds that weigh you.

[Joy@boman 151]

I dont tell my husband and I dont share anything about the bathroom. I dont want him to tell me either. Unless he is sick and needs help going to doc. I dont want him thinking about yucky stuff when we r romantic. Lol

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Vinasu 621]

I've never told my husband my weight. But I do Celebrate milestones with him: 10 lbs lost, 50, onderland, normal BMI. So I'm sure he had a pretty good idea, but I'm so self-conscious about the actual numbers that I don't like to say them aloud.

It also doesn't help that he is 140 pounds after 20 years together.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

[toofatnopants 33]

I just recently told my husband how much I weighed when I talked to him about having the surgery. I was embarrassed to tell him I weighed the same amount as him.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Babbs 14,681]

Wanna know the best day ever? When you finally weight LESS than your husband!

[des_ 18]

I have never told my husband my weight. When we met, I was in the best physical shape of my life and was extremely active and had very healthy, strict eating habits. Now I'm at my highest weight. His feelings for me have never changed and he's still as attracted to me as ever, but the truth is I've gained 100lbs. He tells me the number won't change how he looks at me, but I'm terrified it will. I am afraid he will look at me with disgust if he knows how fat I really am, like how I look at myself. That's why he doesn't know how much I weigh, because I am deeply, deeply ashamed.

[QueenOfTheTamazons 634]

Wanna know the best day ever? When you finally weight LESS than your husband!

I know! I am an inch taller than him and have always used that as a reason why I way more, but now I am 50lbs less. Woot!

HW 385 SW 359 CW 335 (50lbs down!) Sleeved 10/5/16

[QueenOfTheTamazons 634]

I have never told my husband my weight. When we met, I was in the best physical shape of my life and was extremely active and had very healthy, strict eating habits. Now I'm at my highest weight. His feelings for me have never changed and he's still as attracted to me as ever, but the truth is I've gained 100lbs. He tells me the number won't change how he looks at me, but I'm terrified it will. I am afraid he will look at me with disgust if he knows how fat I really am, like how I look at myself. That's why he doesn't know how much I weigh, because I am deeply, deeply ashamed.

I understand the feelings, but he sees you everyday. He may not know the exact number but i am sure he can ballpark it in his head.... and he loves you anyway.

HW 385 SW 359 CW 335 (50lbs down!) Sleeved 10/5/16

[rolosmom7 740]

I never told my husband before surgery, because it just wasn't important. He knew I was overweight and unhappy. But once the surgery was "approved" I told him. So he knows my HW and SW ... and if he does the math, he would know my CW.

The bigger question would have to be why do you feel you have to keep things from your husband? How will he support you when you've said you lost 50, 75, 100 etc pounds? I'd do some thinking on your relationship and why you feel the need to keep this secret. There's another thread from yesterday or the day before where a lot of people talk about how WLS has affected their marriage.

Best of luck!!