Emotional Wreck & Struggeling

[GACaldwell 112]

First, the alphabet soup: Extremely high functioning Anxiety disorder, Depression (usually Seasonal) OCD (The kind that impacts my life), I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 but my very new Dr thinks that's a misdiagnosis as I am "high functioning" not showing classic symptoms of mania. I've dealt with this all my life but really only got diagnosed in 2007.

Now, surgery...July 2016 I had VSG in Mexico, self pay. Not the best thing since I dont "see" my team of drs after but I did all the research, have a support team here of GP's etc so thats good. The psych eval I did have cleared me for surgery because I have a fabulous support system in place and coping mechanisms on the ready. (and before you suggest it, yes, I've contacted them, waiting on a reply)

But..here I am in the middle of my possibly worst seasonal depression in years. I'm off most of my meds due to a quack dr nearly killing me at the beginning of the year and searching for a new dr/therapist (In a WASTELAND of mental health care providers) to get me back on track. It will be the end of the month before I see the dr who prescribes my meds and frankly...that's terrifying, but my ONLY option short of committing myself for a few days which is HIGHLY unlikely but not entirely off the options table.

Meanwhile, I've hit a stall..for nearly 2 months and THIS is where I need help. I know everyone hits stall but for 2 freaking months!!?!?! I know part of it is that I have cheated some (As in 1 piece of dark chocolate or 1/4 cup of ice cream) but for the most part I am really really good. I get in all my Protein, I drink more than the Water required, I eat small meals/protein first and avoid starchy/carb foods. I try to get in exercise..I at least do yoga 2x per week sometimes more, I belly dance, I have an elliptical and occasionally get on it but with the depression it's so damn hard.

I feel like I've failed. I feel like I've wasted $10k & put us in dept to have only lost 30lbs. Every time I step on the scale and see that I'm still gaining/losing the SAME FREAKING POUND I want to cry. This is absolutely impacting my depression and anxiety and my mental health in general. I don't know how in the HELL i will survive until I get to see the dr and then we all know how long it takes for the meds to kick in.

I yoga. I meditate. I journal. I'm trying. I don't know what else to do though. I don't know what I'm asking here...advice? Anyone who had a month+ stall? Encouragement? Regardless...thanks for listening.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@GACaldwell

You say you are eating good but what is eating good?

I have a food log for the past 16 months and I can screen shot everything I have eaten for the past 16 months.

What are you eating, in what amounts.

Saying you are eating good and getting your Protein in is meaningless. I can get my Protein in, eat a ton of carbs and stay under calories. I won't lose like that but it will appear that I am "eating good".

[GACaldwell 112]

@@GACaldwell

You say you are eating good but what is eating good?

I have a food log for the past 16 months and I can screen shot everything I have eaten for the past 16 months.

What are you eating, in what amounts.

Saying you are eating good and getting your Protein in is meaningless. I can get my Protein in, eat a ton of carbs and stay under calories. I won't lose like that but it will appear that I am "eating good".

I track my food and exercise as well which is why I know I'm eating within the guidelines of my plan. This is what i typically eat:

Typical day (and I eat a lot of the same things day after day)

Breakfast

Premier Protein shake

2 Egg whites w 1 Laughing cow cheese

Lunch:

1/2 Grilled chicken breast with salad (no dressing or croutons, just greens and veggies)

Snack:

8-10 almonds, or 2 slices of Low cal deli turkey with 1 wedge of laughing cow

dinner

1/2 grilled or baked chicken breast with 1 veggie..usually 1/4 grilled zucchini

Snack:

String cheese, almonds or another Protein Shake

Daily: Water intake is over 64 oz per day. I only drink Water, green tea (no calorie sweetener) or zero calorie drinks but water is my go-to

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@GACaldwell

I have no idea how many grams of Protein that is, since 1/2 a chicken breast could be anything.

The change I would make with that would be for a week, I would give the cheese up.

I would increase my Protein.< /p>

You didn't post calories or grams of protein so it is pretty impossible to make suggestions off you meal plan but at this point out from surgery you probably need to increase calories.

How many calories a day is this?

[James Marusek 5,244]

I am 3 years post-op RNY gastric bypass. Sleeve patients lose weight slower than RNY patients. I transitioned into the maintenance phase at 7 months but many sleeve patients can go a couple years before they level off. I lost a lot of weight quickly and my stalls lasted for only days whereas sleeve patients can lose the same weight that I did but they encounter many week long stalls along the way.

Weight loss is achieved after surgery through meal volume control. I began at 2 ounces (1/4 cup) per meal and gradually over the next year and a half increase the volume to 1 cup per meal. With this minuscule amount of food, it is next to impossible to meet my Protein daily requirements by food alone, so therefore you need to rely on supplements such as Protein shakes.

At 4 months I was allowed 4 ounces per meal. According to the internet: The average weight for one boneless, skinless chicken breast lobe is 5.25 ounces. Therefore, a full breast, or double lobe, weighs 10.50 ounces. So if you are eating 1/2 of a chicken breast lobe, it sounds like you are eating a comparable amount of food that I ate.

In looking over your typical menu, it looks like you are getting high Protein meals. One thing to do now at this stage is to assess your protein intake. Your protein requirement is met by a combination of the protein from your meals combined with the protein from your supplements (protein shakes, protein bars). Since your meal volume is beginning to increase, that also means that the amount of protein from meals is increasing, especially if you concentrate on consuming high protein meals. Therefore you could be able to reduce your reliance on supplements and the calories they contain. I went from 3 Protein Shakes a day, down to 2, then 1 and finally zero when my meal volume increased to 1 cup per meal at a year and a half. That was the technique that I used to break the few stalls that I encountered.

Sugar was one of the main reasons why I gained so much weight prior to surgery. It is imperative to stay away from products that have sugar after surgery. Artificial sweeteners (such as Splenda, and sugar alcohols) and very low calorie natural sweeteners (stevia) are fine and many are incorporated into a variety of products in the supermarket shelves today. But avoid sugar like a plague.

I can't really offer any advice about psychological issues. If you are not already attending monthly bariatric surgery support group meeting, by all means attend them. They should be free to attend and at least it is a place where you can vent and ask for advice.

[GACaldwell 112]

@@GACaldwell

I have no idea how many grams of Protein that is, since 1/2 a chicken breast could be anything.

The change I would make with that would be for a week, I would give the cheese up.

I would increase my Protein.< /p>

You didn't post calories or grams of protein so it is pretty impossible to make suggestions off you meal plan but at this point out from surgery you probably need to increase calories.

How many calories a day is this?

About 800 calories per day. I track it through spark people so I cant copy and paste it here. Calories for yesterday were 817, grams of protein were 103, Carbs 28, fats 33, Fiber 10

CALORIES CARBS FAT PROTEIN Fiber

Breakfast Create group Copy foods Add a food + Premier Protein: High Protein chocolate shake, 1 serving ⊗ 160 5 3 30 3 Pepper Jack, Kroger Monterey Jack cheese w/ Jalapeno (1 slice=21g), 21 gram(s) ⊗ 80 0 6 5 0 All Whites liquid Egg White (3 Tbsp=1 large egg's white), 9 tbsp ⊗ 75 0 0 15 0 BREAKFAST TOTALS: 315 5 9 50 3 lunch Create group Copy foods Add a food + Chicken Breast (cooked), no skin, roasted, 0.5 unit (yield from 1 lb ready-to-cook chicken) ⊗ 43 0 1 8 0 Dole Chopped salad Kit - Sunflower Crunch 3.5 oz./100g/about 1-1/2 cups, 1 serving ⊗ 180 14 13 4 2 LUNCH TOTALS: 223 14 14 12 2 dinner Create group Copy foods Add a food + Chicken Breast (cooked), no skin, roasted, 0.5 unit (yield from 1 lb ready-to-cook chicken) ⊗ 43 0 1 8 0 Zucchini, 0.25 cup, sliced ⊗ 7 2 0 0 1 DINNER TOTALS: 50 2 1 8 1 snack Create group Copy foods Add a food + Almonds, 10 almond ⊗ 69 3 6 3 1 Premier Protein: High Protein chocolate shake, 1 serving ⊗ 160 5 3 30 3 SNACK TOTALS: 229 8 9 33 4

CALORIES CARBS FAT PROTEIN FIBER Totals: 817 28 33 103 10

[GACaldwell 112]

Yikes!~ Apparently it did paste it but not in any readable format! sORRY ABOUT THAT!

[GACaldwell 112]

Thanks James. Unfortunately there are no bariatric support groups anywhere near me. I've looked into it and the closest one is over an hour away.

I can't really offer any advice about psychological issues. If you are not already attending monthly bariatric surgery support group meeting, by all means attend them. They should be free to attend and at least it is a place where you can vent and ask for advice

[catwoman7 11,212]

an occasional piece of dark chocolate or an occasional 1/4 C ice cream shouldn't cause you to stall. Are you sure you're measuring/weighing everything? You should be losing weight if you're eating 800 calories a day.

[ShelterDog64 2,364]

@@GACaldwell It concerns me that you're off all of your meds with OCD/anxiety/depression and possible BPD. Is there any mental health care available if you go to your local ER vs waiting almost a month to be seen? Is calling your doc's office and telling them what you've told us here an option? This is all much more important, honestly, than your weight loss issues right now. With all of those mental health conditions fighting for primacy over your emotional state, it's no wonder you're not losing.

In the meantime, it sure looks like you're managing your food quite well and not binging or eating off plan. Is getting outside and walking an option? It may help your seasonal affective disorder as well. I'm in the Pacific Northwest and when the sun comes out, I go out and get in it! And are you taking Vitamins, particularly vit D? Vitamin D deficiency complicates many mental health issues.

Good luck, please let us know how you're doing as the month goes by. And good for you for reaching out here...I'm still a newbie at only 5 mos post op, the vets will have some great advice for you!

[GACaldwell 112]

@@GACaldwell It concerns me that you're off all of your meds with OCD/anxiety/depression and possible BPD. Is there any mental health care available if you go to your local ER vs waiting almost a month to be seen? Is calling your doc's office and telling them what you've told us here an option? This is all much more important, honestly, than your weight loss issues right now. With all of those mental health conditions fighting for primacy over your emotional state, it's no wonder you're not losing.

In the meantime, it sure looks like you're managing your food quite well and not binging or eating off plan. Is getting outside and walking an option? It may help your seasonal affective disorder as well. I'm in the Pacific Northwest and when the sun comes out, I go out and get in it! And are you taking Vitamins, particularly vit D? Vitamin D deficiency complicates many mental health issues.

Good luck, please let us know how you're doing as the month goes by. And good for you for reaching out here...I'm still a newbie at only 5 mos post op, the vets will have some great advice for you!

The drs offices im working with are aware. Unfortunately, it's a veritable wasteland here for mental health care. There are three offices..one that the dr nearly killed me, one office that treats you like a drug seeking addict and one that you can never get into because they are not taking new patients..that's the one I'm waiting on an appt with for the end of the month but until they see me, they won't prescribe.

I've even gone so far as to travel to two neighboring cities to seek help...one dr went 5 months without seeing me/canceling appts etc even though I begged the nurses telling them I needed a med change (He's also the one who likely misdiagnosed me) and the other drs don't have an opening until January. Needless to say, it's frustrating.

There is the option of checking myself into the hospital and I've debated it but so far, I don't think I'm there. Yet. Going to the ER here initiates a 48 hour psych eval and being a single parent of two kids...well..you can imagine how difficult that becomes.

You are right, this is more important than the weight loss and that's the main reason I posted it here tbh. but it all ties in unfortunately. Thank you for the kind words about the eating habits. Sometimes it helps to have an outside eye look at it.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@GACaldwell

Try a week at 1000-1100 calories. When I was at your point I had to up my calories to keep losing.

[Djmohr 6,965]

In terms of the weight loss, I have a feeling you are not eating enough and your body is fighting you. I would suggest adding 100 to 150 Protein rich calories.

It might bump you off your stall.

I had a stall that lasted a month and I thought I would lose my mind. come to find out I was exercising too much and not eating enough so my body was fighting me. I reduced my hour a day cardio to 30 minutes per day and increased my calorie intake up 150 calories. within 3 days my stall broke and I never had another long one like that again.

[Malin 470]

I understand about the mental health wasteland. We had one of our children on a 'waiting list' --long story there. It was only after that child had to be hospitalized were we able to get help. Please don't get to the point of needing to be hospitalized if you can.

[Odie 249]

Thanks James. Unfortunately there are no bariatric support groups anywhere near me. I've looked into it and the closest one is over an hour away.

I can't really offer any advice about psychological issues. If you are not already attending monthly bariatric surgery support group meeting, by all means attend them. They should be free to attend and at least it is a place where you can vent and ask for advice

Having suffered with depression since I was 15, I can safely say this is why you have stalled. Also some of your medications may have an impact on that. When depressed, your body only knows you are ill, and will cope and try to help you by slowing your metabolism. This usually results in weight gain but because you had surgery, is instead, storing your calories. Enjoy what you have lost thus far and when your mood lightens, and it will, the weight will come off!!