Mourning while Changing

[H.150ToGo 18]

Hello, this is my first post. In addition to this life changing procedure (sleeve) I will be undergoing on December 5th I am also mourning my inability to have children. There was a glimour of hope that i chased for 3 years but that glimmer faded away after my last doctor appt on Friday. That story is long and I'm willing to share if anyone is interested but since this is a bariateic group, I will stick to that for now. I'm 33 years old, 5 foot 9, and current weight is 328. My goal is roughly 150 lbs of weight loss. My ultimate goal is to always range between 145 pound and 175. That is the healthiest weight I carried in my younger years and looked and felt great. I have had excessive reconstructive spinal fusions with 4 rods and 20 screws so the weight loss will be a huge help with that but also the spinal issues will make my road to recovery much more interesting. I also have a very bad case of PCOS and have drastic hormone surges which often effects my moods. I'm not nervous for the surgery but I just hope mentally it's a success. As many of you (I'm sure) I find that I use food to cope. I will have to and have been finding new ways to cope and I'm hoping just the distraction of this epic life change will be enough. I will post pics as I advance through the journey but since I'm pre-op I figured I'll wait. I have been browsing the forum but would love to hear how you lovely strong amazing people mentally cope with this situation. Feel free to comment with anything! I'd love to chat. No one in my immediate life understands this struggle so it's great to have this outlet. Thank you for your time and for reading. Ask questions if you have them. I'm an open book

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[genn 460]

I messaged you!! Please read maybe this will give you some hope !!!

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[Aggiemae 739]

Though weight loss isn't magic it will improve PCOS and reduce pain.

Sending good wishes and thoughts.

[rolosmom7 740]

I have endometriosis and a lot of the same concerns - at 27, my husband and I aren't ready to rule out kids. For me weight loss hasn't helped (it actually caused me to have a second surgery from hormone levels). But, just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren't alone!!!

Oh we also have similar stats - I'm 5'10 and started at 310. Want to be 175 or so.

[H.150ToGo 18]

I have endometriosis and a lot of the same concerns - at 27, my husband and I aren't ready to rule out kids. For me weight loss hasn't helped (it actually caused me to have a second surgery from hormone levels). But, just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren't alone!!!

Oh we also have similar stats - I'm 5'10 and started at 310. Want to be 175 or so.

Awe hunny I'm so sorry for your endometriosis struggles!! Be glad you have time on your side though and please heed my advice, when you can... start your fertility journey!!! Do not wait!!!!! It can take some intending parents 6 months to get pregnant and it can take 5 years or even more!! If you try and try and decide on adoption that can take another 1-3 years to get a baby. I sort of always assumed "they have a pill for that" type thing and here we are encroaching on the dangerous stage of 35 plus and still struggling to have a child. Not to mention the Financials. Just for perspective IVF starts at 15K in Michigan here and only goes up. It's also not a guarantee you will invest and end up with a baby! Not trying to discourage you I just wish hubby and I would have started our journey a few years prior. I wish someone would have warned me. I thought I could lose weight on my own and save money for IVF but life got in the way and we achieved neither. It will be at least another year before we can even safely do an egg retrieval due to the sleeve so I'll be 35 at the youngest having a baby which starts becoming high risk and high chance of mental defects for the baby. So please stay strong, be positive but start talking! It never hurts to get a game plan with a fertility specialist even if it's for the future! There are great options too like gestational surrogates!! It's pricey but sometimes best for women who have serious conditions such as yours! We can chat here or you can PM me if you would like to speak more fertility related. We had been trying for an altruistic gestational surrogate but due to finances and other complications we still can't swing it so all things baby are on hold while I do the sleeve and we save $$. I also need the mental break. We may decide to adopt but I was adopted so it was not what I was hoping for...

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[rolosmom7 740]

I have endometriosis and a lot of the same concerns - at 27, my husband and I aren't ready to rule out kids. For me weight loss hasn't helped (it actually caused me to have a second surgery from hormone levels). But, just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren't alone!!!

Oh we also have similar stats - I'm 5'10 and started at 310. Want to be 175 or so.

Awe hunny I'm so sorry for your endometriosis struggles!! Be glad you have time on your side though and please heed my advice, when you can... start your fertility journey!!! Do not wait!!!!! It can take some intending parents 6 months to get pregnant and it can take 5 years or even more!! If you try and try and decide on adoption that can take another 1-3 years to get a baby. I sort of always assumed "they have a pill for that" type thing and here we are encroaching on the dangerous stage of 35 plus and still struggling to have a child. Not to mention the Financials. Just for perspective IVF starts at 15K in Michigan here and only goes up. It's also not a guarantee you will invest and end up with a baby! Not trying to discourage you I just wish hubby and I would have started our journey a few years prior. I wish someone would have warned me. I thought I could lose weight on my own and save money for IVF but life got in the way and we achieved neither. It will be at least another year before we can even safely do an egg retrieval due to the sleeve so I'll be 35 at the youngest having a baby which starts becoming high risk and high chance of mental defects for the baby. So please stay strong, be positive but start talking! It never hurts to get a game plan with a fertility specialist even if it's for the future! There are great options too like gestational surrogates!! It's pricey but sometimes best for women who have serious conditions such as yours! We can chat here or you can PM me if you would like to speak more fertility related. We had been trying for an altruistic gestational surrogate but due to finances and other complications we still can't swing it so all things baby are on hold while I do the sleeve and we save $$. I also need the mental break. We may decide to adopt but I was adopted so it was not what I was hoping for...

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Thank you! I'm 7 weeks post op so we will see what the next year brings - hopefully good things for both of us! I have put off treatment like lupron because of the devastating effects on fertility. It's me constantly wondering what the right thing to do is. Fortunately, I am young but know I have to make a serious decision by 30.

I wish you all the best with your WLS and fertility - adoption may not be your first choice but you'd still be a great Mom.

[izzy13 117]

I have severe endometriosis, diagnosed in my mid twenties and have had 6 surgeries since. I have done soooo much research, I found that dr's shrug off the diagnosis bc they just don't understand it. I figured out that endo is believed to be caused by too much estrogen and not enough progesterone so I started take prometrium (straight up progesterone) 100 mg every day a year ago. They usually only use it to help keep a pregnancy so not being prego my dr questioned me a little bit. But it's been over a year since my last surgery, where the dr said he might have to remove an extremely diseased ovary but left it bc I begged him, I am almost symptom free (knock on wood!!!) I don't know of I can get pregnant I'm 35 and never really thought about it but I'm hopeful it could happen. But for now I'm just trying to be healthy, was sleeved 10/12 and I'm really hoping the weight loss will help my endo stay at bay. Research also points to endo being an inflammatory disease and eating crap food can tend to exacerbate the symptoms so I'm hoping my new diet of mostly Protein will also help.

I'm sorry you're struggling, and I hope things will be looking up for you in the near future!

[H.150ToGo 18]

I have endometriosis and a lot of the same concerns - at 27, my husband and I aren't ready to rule out kids. For me weight loss hasn't helped (it actually caused me to have a second surgery from hormone levels). But, just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren't alone!!!

Oh we also have similar stats - I'm 5'10 and started at 310. Want to be 175 or so.

Awe hunny I'm so sorry for your endometriosis struggles!! Be glad you have time on your side though and please heed my advice, when you can... start your fertility journey!!! Do not wait!!!!! It can take some intending parents 6 months to get pregnant and it can take 5 years or even more!! If you try and try and decide on adoption that can take another 1-3 years to get a baby. I sort of always assumed "they have a pill for that" type thing and here we are encroaching on the dangerous stage of 35 plus and still struggling to have a child. Not to mention the Financials. Just for perspective IVF starts at 15K in Michigan here and only goes up. It's also not a guarantee you will invest and end up with a baby! Not trying to discourage you I just wish hubby and I would have started our journey a few years prior. I wish someone would have warned me. I thought I could lose weight on my own and save money for IVF but life got in the way and we achieved neither. It will be at least another year before we can even safely do an egg retrieval due to the sleeve so I'll be 35 at the youngest having a baby which starts becoming high risk and high chance of mental defects for the baby. So please stay strong, be positive but start talking! It never hurts to get a game plan with a fertility specialist even if it's for the future! There are great options too like gestational surrogates!! It's pricey but sometimes best for women who have serious conditions such as yours! We can chat here or you can PM me if you would like to speak more fertility related. We had been trying for an altruistic gestational surrogate but due to finances and other complications we still can't swing it so all things baby are on hold while I do the sleeve and we save $$. I also need the mental break. We may decide to adopt but I was adopted so it was not what I was hoping for...

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Thank you! I'm 7 weeks post op so we will see what the next year brings - hopefully good things for both of us! I have put off treatment like lupron because of the devastating effects on fertility. It's me constantly wondering what the right thing to do is. Fortunately, I am young but know I have to make a serious decision by 30.

I wish you all the best with your WLS and fertility - adoption may not be your first choice but you'd still be a great Mom.

Congrats on being 7 weeks!!! How did everything go for you?? Also what is Lepran? I've not heard of that. It sounds like you at least know your time frame. My husband is so sweet and supportive. Says he would love to have a child or adopt or would be perfectly happy with us and our pets!! Me? Not so much... I want my baby girl!! Thank you so much for your sweetness!! I lean more towards adoption every day but I just worry so bad of them emotional turmoil for our child but at least I could empathize having been through it too. We shall see!! What state do you live in? Michigan here. Just curious

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[H.150ToGo 18]

I have severe endometriosis, diagnosed in my mid twenties and have had 6 surgeries since. I have done soooo much research, I found that dr's shrug off the diagnosis bc they just don't understand it. I figured out that endo is believed to be caused by too much estrogen and not enough progesterone so I started take prometrium (straight up progesterone) 100 mg every day a year ago. They usually only use it to help keep a pregnancy so not being prego my dr questioned me a little bit. But it's been over a year since my last surgery, where the dr said he might have to remove an extremely diseased ovary but left it bc I begged him, I am almost symptom free (knock on wood!!!) I don't know of I can get pregnant I'm 35 and never really thought about it but I'm hopeful it could happen. But for now I'm just trying to be healthy, was sleeved 10/12 and I'm really hoping the weight loss will help my endo stay at bay. Research also points to endo being an inflammatory disease and eating crap food can tend to exacerbate the symptoms so I'm hoping my new diet of mostly Protein will also help.

I'm sorry you're struggling, and I hope things will be looking up for you in the near future!

Oh wow!! You poor thing!! To have gone through so much!! That's so amazing that you are finding something to help you! I can't imagine what you ladies go through with endo. I have a friend who suffers from it and no one understands her suffrage. I find that doctors sometimes go to extremes and forgot about trying simple natural solutions. I hope you have a life time of success! Maybe your advice can help rolosmom too!! Thanks for sharing and for caring

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[rolosmom7 740]

I have severe endometriosis, diagnosed in my mid twenties and have had 6 surgeries since. I have done soooo much research, I found that dr's shrug off the diagnosis bc they just don't understand it. I figured out that endo is believed to be caused by too much estrogen and not enough progesterone so I started take prometrium (straight up progesterone) 100 mg every day a year ago. They usually only use it to help keep a pregnancy so not being prego my dr questioned me a little bit. But it's been over a year since my last surgery, where the dr said he might have to remove an extremely diseased ovary but left it bc I begged him, I am almost symptom free (knock on wood!!!) I don't know of I can get pregnant I'm 35 and never really thought about it but I'm hopeful it could happen. But for now I'm just trying to be healthy, was sleeved 10/12 and I'm really hoping the weight loss will help my endo stay at bay. Research also points to endo being an inflammatory disease and eating crap food can tend to exacerbate the symptoms so I'm hoping my new diet of mostly Protein will also help.

I'm sorry you're struggling, and I hope things will be looking up for you in the near future!

Hang in there!! We will fight it together, women strong!! I wish they'd just listen to us! Endo is not just painful cramps - it's a disease that won't be better on its own. I'm only on surgery 2, I cannot imagine 6. Big Hugs to you!!!

[rolosmom7 740]

I have endometriosis and a lot of the same concerns - at 27, my husband and I aren't ready to rule out kids. For me weight loss hasn't helped (it actually caused me to have a second surgery from hormone levels). But, just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren't alone!!!

Oh we also have similar stats - I'm 5'10 and started at 310. Want to be 175 or so.

Awe hunny I'm so sorry for your endometriosis struggles!! Be glad you have time on your side though and please heed my advice, when you can... start your fertility journey!!! Do not wait!!!!! It can take some intending parents 6 months to get pregnant and it can take 5 years or even more!! If you try and try and decide on adoption that can take another 1-3 years to get a baby. I sort of always assumed "they have a pill for that" type thing and here we are encroaching on the dangerous stage of 35 plus and still struggling to have a child. Not to mention the Financials. Just for perspective IVF starts at 15K in Michigan here and only goes up. It's also not a guarantee you will invest and end up with a baby! Not trying to discourage you I just wish hubby and I would have started our journey a few years prior. I wish someone would have warned me. I thought I could lose weight on my own and save money for IVF but life got in the way and we achieved neither. It will be at least another year before we can even safely do an egg retrieval due to the sleeve so I'll be 35 at the youngest having a baby which starts becoming high risk and high chance of mental defects for the baby. So please stay strong, be positive but start talking! It never hurts to get a game plan with a fertility specialist even if it's for the future! There are great options too like gestational surrogates!! It's pricey but sometimes best for women who have serious conditions such as yours! We can chat here or you can PM me if you would like to speak more fertility related. We had been trying for an altruistic gestational surrogate but due to finances and other complications we still can't swing it so all things baby are on hold while I do the sleeve and we save $$. I also need the mental break. We may decide to adopt but I was adopted so it was not what I was hoping for...

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Thank you! I'm 7 weeks post op so we will see what the next year brings - hopefully good things for both of us! I have put off treatment like lupron because of the devastating effects on fertility. It's me constantly wondering what the right thing to do is. Fortunately, I am young but know I have to make a serious decision by 30.

I wish you all the best with your WLS and fertility - adoption may not be your first choice but you'd still be a great Mom.

Congrats on being 7 weeks!!! How did everything go for you?? Also what is Lepran? I've not heard of that. It sounds like you at least know your time frame. My husband is so sweet and supportive. Says he would love to have a child or adopt or would be perfectly happy with us and our pets!! Me? Not so much... I want my baby girl!! Thank you so much for your sweetness!! I lean more towards adoption every day but I just worry so bad of them emotional turmoil for our child but at least I could empathize having been through it too. We shall see!! What state do you live in? Michigan here. Just curious

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Everything went the sleeve went well. 45 pounds down in 7 weeks the downside for me was the d&c surgery I had to have once my hormones went psycho. Being put under twice in one month is a huge strain on your body.

I live in Lake Norman, NC and the center for endometriosis care is in Atlanta so not too far from me.

Lupron is the devil - horrible side effects including infertility (1/5 becomes infertile permanently) along with weight gain and worsening depression. It's a nasty drug. If they offer it, of course do your resesrch but I recommend running the other way!

[H.150ToGo 18]

I have endometriosis and a lot of the same concerns - at 27, my husband and I aren't ready to rule out kids. For me weight loss hasn't helped (it actually caused me to have a second surgery from hormone levels). But, just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren't alone!!!

Oh we also have similar stats - I'm 5'10 and started at 310. Want to be 175 or so.

Awe hunny I'm so sorry for your endometriosis struggles!! Be glad you have time on your side though and please heed my advice, when you can... start your fertility journey!!! Do not wait!!!!! It can take some intending parents 6 months to get pregnant and it can take 5 years or even more!! If you try and try and decide on adoption that can take another 1-3 years to get a baby. I sort of always assumed "they have a pill for that" type thing and here we are encroaching on the dangerous stage of 35 plus and still struggling to have a child. Not to mention the Financials. Just for perspective IVF starts at 15K in Michigan here and only goes up. It's also not a guarantee you will invest and end up with a baby! Not trying to discourage you I just wish hubby and I would have started our journey a few years prior. I wish someone would have warned me. I thought I could lose weight on my own and save money for IVF but life got in the way and we achieved neither. It will be at least another year before we can even safely do an egg retrieval due to the sleeve so I'll be 35 at the youngest having a baby which starts becoming high risk and high chance of mental defects for the baby. So please stay strong, be positive but start talking! It never hurts to get a game plan with a fertility specialist even if it's for the future! There are great options too like gestational surrogates!! It's pricey but sometimes best for women who have serious conditions such as yours! We can chat here or you can PM me if you would like to speak more fertility related. We had been trying for an altruistic gestational surrogate but due to finances and other complications we still can't swing it so all things baby are on hold while I do the sleeve and we save $$. I also need the mental break. We may decide to adopt but I was adopted so it was not what I was hoping for...

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Thank you! I'm 7 weeks post op so we will see what the next year brings - hopefully good things for both of us! I have put off treatment like lupron because of the devastating effects on fertility. It's me constantly wondering what the right thing to do is. Fortunately, I am young but know I have to make a serious decision by 30.

I wish you all the best with your WLS and fertility - adoption may not be your first choice but you'd still be a great Mom.

Congrats on being 7 weeks!!! How did everything go for you?? Also what is Lepran? I've not heard of that. It sounds like you at least know your time frame. My husband is so sweet and supportive. Says he would love to have a child or adopt or would be perfectly happy with us and our pets!! Me? Not so much... I want my baby girl!! Thank you so much for your sweetness!! I lean more towards adoption every day but I just worry so bad of them emotional turmoil for our child but at least I could empathize having been through it too. We shall see!! What state do you live in? Michigan here. Just curious

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Everything went the sleeve went well. 45 pounds down in 7 weeks the downside for me was the d&c surgery I had to have once my hormones went psycho. Being put under twice in one month is a huge strain on your body.

I live in Lake Norman, NC and the center for endometriosis care is in Atlanta so not too far from me.

Lupron is the devil - horrible side effects including infertility (1/5 becomes infertile permanently) along with weight gain and worsening depression. It's a nasty drug. If they offer it, of course do your resesrch but I recommend running the other way!

45 lbs!!!! That's awesome!!!! Get it girrrrl!!! And thanks for the advice!! I will for sure say no to that one. Is it used with the bariatrix surgery or with endo treatment?

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[rolosmom7 740]

Endo! And thank you [emoji3]

[izzy13 117]

Oh yeah just say no to Lupron!!! (Lol) Doctors L-O-V-E it but it will cause so many awful side effects, I haven't heard from anyone that actually had benefits from it. It originally was developed to treat prostate cancer and for some reason they thought it would be good for endo...it's not, the dr says it will put you into temporary menopause but it really does nothing to help endo just has terrible side effects.

[H.150ToGo 18]

Endo! And thank you

Daaaaang good to know!!! That sounds like some scar stuff ladies!!!

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Oh yeah just say no to Lupron!!! (Lol) Doctors L-O-V-E it but it will cause so many awful side effects, I haven't heard from anyone that actually had benefits from it. It originally was developed to treat prostate cancer and for some reason they thought it would be good for endo...it's not, the dr says it will put you into temporary menopause but it really does nothing to help endo just has terrible side effects.

That sounds terrifying!!! So sad for those who believe the doctors then suffer the results

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