Scared and don't know what to do... help

[daisychain40 2]

Hi all,

I'm a 40 year old women who has suffered from eating disorders my whole life I have been every weight from 8 stone to 22stone. Which is my current weight. I managed to lose 9 stone ten years ago and kept it of for 7 years with exercise and healthy eating. I'm an emotional eater and From an early age suffered abuse and rejection and its continued throughout life. My self esteem has never really been high but is currently at an all time low. I have shut myself off from my family and friends and other than work stay home eating alone. I slowly put back on all weight I lose over last three years as I was in abusive relationship that's now over.

Everyone say I did it before I can do it again. But I just don't feel strong enough anymore I'm worn out from all the eating and gaining and losing of weight and the focus on food. I just want to be at peace with the whole food thing and not have that be my focus anymore.

I was put forward for bariatric surgery on Nhs one year ago and I had to go to sessions throughout this year. My final appointment is now due in three weeks and and I will find out if I have been approved or not.

I'm really scared I never have had much luck I can't go on way I am I find it hard to walk or do much these days everything hurts. But I think what if I have surgery and I die or I'm really ill for the rest of my life.

I really just want to know what it's like in reality living after bypass surgery. Is it worth it ? Do any of you regret it ? Is it painful ? Anything you can tell me to give me would be much appreciated.

I truly believe i could spend another 3 years trying to lose weight as I did before but I will always return to the food as it's been my life.

Is this the right road I'm going down based on what I've said any opinions would be welcome

Most of my friends and family think I'm making a mistake I feel very alone right now

I was lastly like to say I admire anyone that has the strength to try to change there life well done to all of you.

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[Lainybee1987 6]

I really feel for you and most people were in your situation pre op.. I would tell you what it's like but my surgery did t workout my inky advice would be too research your surgeon and go for the RNY not the sleeve

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[James Marusek 5,244]

I really just want to know what it's like in reality living after bypass surgery. Is it worth it ? Do any of you regret it ? Is it painful ? Anything you can tell me to give me would be much appreciated.

I had RNY gastric bypass surgery over 3 years ago. To answer your questions from my perspective. It is worth it. I do not regret it, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. For me it was not painful. As a matter of fact, I took no pain medicine after I left the operating room. I walked for 30 minutes every day for the year prior to surgery and for the first year after surgery. That dramatically improved my recovery time and deceased my pain level from surgery.

I put my initial experience with the surgery in the following article. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery.pdf

[daisychain40 2]

Thank you lainy why did it now work for you ? and James I'll have a read of your link that's really helpful much appreciated

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[rny100516 15]

For me I was afraid also. I wrote letters and recorded videos for my daughter just in case. I increased my life insurance. I prayed a lot. I was so terrified, and then I woke up post op. And I was just fine. I am 1 month out. I switched surgeons 6 months into the process because I felt more comfortable going with the surgeon who performed surgeries on people I knew who were thriving. My doctor's office also recommended him. I went with a facility that offered divinci robot assisted rny gastric bypass. I had soreness and gas pain for about 5 days post op. It was tolerable and my pain meds were very effective. Day 5-7 the pain was more internal. My tummy hurt when I drank too much and if I lay on my side. I slept propped up on pillows on my back until it improved. By the end of day 7 I felt like nothing had happened. Of my 6 incisions, 1 was still sore to the touch. I had to mentally remind myself whenever I went to take a drink not to swallow too much because it felt so NORMAL. I spent week 2 in a state of disbelief. Not regret at all, but just...WOW. I Really had surgery. I really altered my anatomy. I couldn't believe it. If I couldn't see the scars it would be like nothing had happened. I know people who have had complications after. Every person is different. If you have comorbidities the risk increases. You can reduce that risk by starting a walking program now and sticking to your pre op diet once assigned. Do your best to stay hydrated and follow your doctors and nutritionists instructions. That is what you can control in your experience. Oh yeah, do your breathing exercises post op as directed! Pneumonia and lung adhesions are avoidable!!!

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[daisychain40 2]

Thank you rny 100516 that's really helpful

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[MCE1205 47]

I am 6 month post op RNY. I never was afraid but I was prepared mentally to live a life of eating differently. I do admit the first few weeks were difficult in getting in all the required Protein shakes and Water. I just did the best I could. I had absolutely no pain or discomfort. I did however feel exhausted the first few months and both my surgeon and my primary told me to be patient. I was and slowly my energy level came back. I can practically eat anything I want but stay away from sugar. meat is difficult to process so I eat more chicken, pork and fish. I love yogurts and fresh fruits. I have absolutely no regrets and find that it is a lot easier then I anticipated so I am very happy. My health has improved tremendously too! Good luck to you.

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[Nymea 87]

Hi - I am just one week away from four months post op. Like you I was nervous about the surgery and the post op results. I was terrified I would be "THE ONE" who didn't lose weight. Post op wasn't all sunshine and unicorns either but I would definitely do it again.

I had very little pain, nothing that needed medication but the nausea and vomiting was terrible. I ended up being in hospital for 6 days post op because of the vomiting, but slowly it subsided enough for me to go home. Exhaustion and being unable to do much at all (even showering myself was a challenge) were the biggest problems after coming home from hospital. That lasted somewhere between 6 & 8 weeks then slowly improved back to normal.

Since the surgery vomiting and very loose bowels have been a problem on and off. They still plague me if I eat the wrong foods, or eat too fast, or if the evil witch is looking in my direction and makes my stomach decide that today it is not going to accept the very same food it loved every day for the last week. I have also had a couple of bouts of flu that affected my digestion significantly as well.

But even after all that I say it was worth it. All the negative effects get less over time until you are left only with the positives of weight loss and feeling great.

As for the surgery itself, I have been an operating theater nurse for over 20 years and I can tell you that we don't let people die in surgery. The biggest risk is actually post op complications and they are things you can be pro active about preventing. For example make sure you do your breathing and coughing, get up and move around even if it is hard. Those things prevent clots and pneumonia, which are two of your biggest enemies in the days after major surgery. The more you work to get yourself in shape before surgery (exercise if possible and stick to the diet they give you) the better your chances of a good recovery with no complications.