Self-discovery in preparation for my surgery

[ginabee38 91]

I was hoping by some miracle that I would be able to jump through pre-op hoops to get approved for surgery quickly snd have it by the end of the summer, but it did not happen that way. I am now grateful that I had this time yo really get on track. I feel like my brain is starting to shift a bit as I've been really delving into WHY I do certain things.

One big thing I have learned with regard to my bingeing. When I am gearing up to eat a lot, I noticed that I give myself a type of permission...oh, payday...what can I eat?! That means I can get Chinese food! (Then it occurred to me...do I even WANT Chinese food?...and I really didn't!) I went through a few other not so healthy foods (like McDonalds,Taco Bell and Sonic) and made the same assessment. I didn't actually WANT to taste these foods, but something in my brain was craving them and telling me to go for it. You got PAID! You can eat ANYTHING YOU WANT! I'm wondering if it comes from a type of scarcity conversation in my head (like a deep fear that there will not be enough for me) and I think it might. I remember as a young kid, 10 or so, and having to split a food with someone...I always wanted to make sure that the portions of both people were the same, or maybe that mine was a bit larger. I still find myself thinking this way, but sonetimes I can stop the inner 10-year old).

So, last night, I made the initial choice of pizza (NY-style pizza slices) and I enjoyed my first slice...and I was full...I had the 2nd about an hour and a half later. I thought, as I drove home, "you can always get delivery later, if you want", but I actually forgot about it (last night, anyway). Sometimes I remind myself, "you can gave Chinese another day...no need to have everything today".

For a time, though, I used to do that after almost every Weight Watcher's weigh-in...I would allow myself a smorgasboard/feast and get 3 different types of food (but not necessarily eat it all). How's that for disordered eating?!

Anyway, I wanted to share that bit of awareness with you all. Anyone else have this type of awareness wash over them...like an epiphany?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using the BariatricPal App

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

This is great insight.

I needed the reminder today!

Best of luck with your surgery.

[NotOnMyWatch 54]

I was hoping by some miracle that I would be able to jump through pre-op hoops to get approved for surgery quickly snd have it by the end of the summer, but it did not happen that way. I am now grateful that I had this time yo really get on track. I feel like my brain is starting to shift a bit as I've been really delving into WHY I do certain things.

One big thing I have learned with regard to my bingeing. When I am gearing up to eat a lot, I noticed that I give myself a type of permission...oh, payday...what can I eat?! That means I can get Chinese food! (Then it occurred to me...do I even WANT Chinese food?...and I really didn't!) I went through a few other not so healthy foods (like McDonalds,Taco Bell and Sonic) and made the same assessment. I didn't actually WANT to taste these foods, but something in my brain was craving them and telling me to go for it. You got PAID! You can eat ANYTHING YOU WANT! I'm wondering if it comes from a type of scarcity conversation in my head (like a deep fear that there will not be enough for me) and I think it might. I remember as a young kid, 10 or so, and having to split a food with someone...I always wanted to make sure that the portions of both people were the same, or maybe that mine was a bit larger. I still find myself thinking this way, but sonetimes I can stop the inner 10-year old).

So, last night, I made the initial choice of pizza (NY-style pizza slices) and I enjoyed my first slice...and I was full...I had the 2nd about an hour and a half later. I thought, as I drove home, "you can always get delivery later, if you want", but I actually forgot about it (last night, anyway). Sometimes I remind myself, "you can gave Chinese another day...no need to have everything today".

For a time, though, I used to do that after almost every Weight Watcher's weigh-in...I would allow myself a smorgasboard/feast and get 3 different types of food (but not necessarily eat it all). How's that for disordered eating?!

Anyway, I wanted to share that bit of awareness with you all. Anyone else have this type of awareness wash over them...like an epiphany?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using the BariatricPal App

I recently spent a month at our summer place doing a lot of soul searching, not just about WLS but many other aspects of my life. I've been in the program toward surgery for about 7 months and thought I would be scheduled by now. Alas, I'm not. And my time waiting has been well spent...researching, writing, exploring sites like this. I have come to realize that while I only 'thought' I was ready before, I am ready AND prepared now.

Good luck on your journey!

Sent from my SM-G920P using the BariatricPal App

[Aggiemae 739]

I was a bit put off about the 6 month wait my insurance imposes but I am glad that I had that time really THINK and prepare for this lifelong commitment.

At the very first class a guy doing the pre op requirements and who's wife had already had the surgery explained, in detail, how she "cheated"on "special occasions" . Pissed me off at first but in the long run I learned so much from listening to him. I don't want to be THAT person.

I also took a 6 month weekly class called "live it". In the end, between the pre op class and the lifestyle class i came into this with my eyes wide opened.

[ginabee38 91]

I was hoping by some miracle that I would be able to jump through pre-op hoops to get approved for surgery quickly snd have it by the end of the summer, but it did not happen that way. I am now grateful that I had this time yo really get on track. I feel like my brain is starting to shift a bit as I've been really delving into WHY I do certain things.

One big thing I have learned with regard to my bingeing. When I am gearing up to eat a lot, I noticed that I give myself a type of permission...oh, payday...what can I eat?! That means I can get Chinese food! (Then it occurred to me...do I even WANT Chinese food?...and I really didn't!) I went through a few other not so healthy foods (like McDonalds,Taco Bell and Sonic) and made the same assessment. I didn't actually WANT to taste these foods, but something in my brain was craving them and telling me to go for it. You got PAID! You can eat ANYTHING YOU WANT! I'm wondering if it comes from a type of scarcity conversation in my head (like a deep fear that there will not be enough for me) and I think it might. I remember as a young kid, 10 or so, and having to split a food with someone...I always wanted to make sure that the portions of both people were the same, or maybe that mine was a bit larger. I still find myself thinking this way, but sonetimes I can stop the inner 10-year old).

So, last night, I made the initial choice of pizza (NY-style pizza slices) and I enjoyed my first slice...and I was full...I had the 2nd about an hour and a half later. I thought, as I drove home, "you can always get delivery later, if you want", but I actually forgot about it (last night, anyway). Sometimes I remind myself, "you can gave Chinese another day...no need to have everything today".

For a time, though, I used to do that after almost every Weight Watcher's weigh-in...I would allow myself a smorgasboard/feast and get 3 different types of food (but not necessarily eat it all). How's that for disordered eating?!

Anyway, I wanted to share that bit of awareness with you all. Anyone else have this type of awareness wash over them...like an epiphany?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using the BariatricPal App

I recently spent a month at our summer place doing a lot of soul searching, not just about WLS but many other aspects of my life. I've been in the program toward surgery for about 7 months and thought I would be scheduled by now. Alas, I'm not. And my time waiting has been well spent...researching, writing, exploring sites like this. I have come to realize that while I only 'thought' I was ready before, I am ready AND prepared now.

Good luck on your journey!

Sent from my SM-G920P using the BariatricPal App

Thank you! Every month that surgery is delayed is another month to prepare and learn. However, I sincerely hope my pre-op learning is over on December 23! I'm still waiting for insurance approval.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using the BariatricPal App