Not telling anyone. What do you say?

[Joy@boman 151]

My family is horrible that is why. Not one person would be anything but negative. Over the years I have been the one to take care of myself and just combing my hair on a regular basis causes them to be mean and nasty. I wouldnt tell them if my life depended on it.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

... just combing my hair on a regular basis causes them to be mean and nasty.

First and foremost, I am sorry your family is this way to you. Hugs.

I am seriously confused, though. Why would they be mad at you for combing your hair? Isn't that basic hygiene?

[ironpoorer 88]

I told everyone (work, family etc) and have gotten nothing but support from all

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[higher 966]

If you really want to keep it a secret like I do, you might want to consider lying. To start,I tell people who ask that I lost a lot less weight than I actually have. That way they don't start trying to guess how I lost 50 lbs in a few short months. It'S more than easy for them to believe I lost 20 through diet and exercise because they WANT TO believe that works.

[pixiesleeve 55]

I can't help u with that because i chose to go public about my sleeve. I need all the support that i can get. I have close family that are still closet sleevers and they hear me blabbing off about my journey. I see them and they don't seem so happy. Why do u feel staying in closet will benefit your sucess?

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

I can't help u with that because i chose to go public about my sleeve. I need all the support that i can get. I have close family that are still closet sleevers and they hear me blabbing off about my journey. I see them and they don't seem so happy. Why do u feel staying in closet will benefit your sucess?

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I'm a private person, I am perfectly thrilled with my decision to keep my medical decisions to myself and I'm successful to boot.

[pixiesleeve 55]

I always respond "portion control", "lots of water" and "movement" which is true.

I couldn't do that. I choose to go public to help sleevers and non sleevers. I think its important to me that people understand that my sleeve helped me drop 104 pounds.

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[imightknow 39]

I always respond "portion control", "lots of water" and "movement" which is true.

I couldn't do that. I choose to go public to help sleevers and non sleevers. I think its important to me that people understand that my sleeve helped me drop 104 pounds.

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As I stated in my comment, I am not telling everyone because I like my privacy and to avoid negativity. There are a lot of instagram accounts of sleevers that are VERY helpful to others wanting the surgery or to support the ones that have had the surgery already.... you might find it a little surprising that a lot of them are closet sleevers. Even if we are not open with people in our everyday lives, we can still be useful to others by other means like private social media accounts, groups or forums.

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[higher 966]

@@pixiesleeve I serve the greater good of the public through my career. I'm an involved and productive citizen, a loving and caring sister, aunt, daughter, granddaughter and friend. The sleeve is something I did for myself as an act of self-care. Which was rare for me but I've learned through this process that as I take better care of myself, I'm even better at all the things I described above. So I don't feel the need to share this one thing. It doesn't mean I don't care about other people who struggle with obesity- I just can't take that on in addition to everything else. And that's totally OK. You have to do what works for you and some of us will take better care of ourselves going through this on our own. Best of luck to you.

[Aggiemae 739]

I don't plan on telling anyone besides my husband and two close friends. My larger circle includes some mean spirited gossips. Both are overweight and judgmental. No thanks.

[skloewer 11]

At first, I was really bashful about sharing about the surgery. I kept it a secret, but after a while, I was just so proud of all the hard work I had to tell people! Now I wear it like a badge of honor. I made the decision to change my life and save my life! People have crap to say always, but I want to encourage people to be brave in taking control of their own health. I love talking about it now.

Protect yourself. Ultimately, this is about you. If you have family that will not be supportive, don't share. If you have friends who would cheer you on and cheer you up on hard days, share away. Most importantly, don't let it be a source of shame for you. YOU made the awesome decision to change your life. You are putting in all the work. The surgery is a tool to that success.

And if you don't have anyone in your life right now you could openly talk about it with, share with us! I will for sure cheer you on.

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[LisaMergs 2,854]

@@pixiesleeve I serve the greater good of the public through my career. I'm an involved and productive citizen, a loving and caring sister, aunt, daughter, granddaughter and friend. The sleeve is something I did for myself as an act of self-care. Which was rare for me but I've learned through this process that as I take better care of myself, I'm even better at all the things I described above. So I don't feel the need to share this one thing. It doesn't mean I don't care about other people who struggle with obesity- I just can't take that on in addition to everything else. And that's totally OK. You have to do what works for you and some of us will take better care of ourselves going through this on our own. Best of luck to you.

Good for you recognizing your self worth and worth to others IN PERSPECTIVE.

There is NO REASON- unless you're planning on being the WLS poster child, that one needs to sing this from the rooftops.

You are a wonderful, caring person, and how it shines through right here---I can only imagine it does so 10fold in real life ❤️

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[Miss Impala 64]

At first, i thought the same thing, I didn't want anyone to know. I felt so ashamed that I couldn't do this on my own. But eventually I worked thru it.

I am quite surprised at how many are not saying anything? I can understand, but for me I have lived my entire life with shame and failure of diets and at first this was no different. My negative self talk included "i can't believe I couldnt do this on my own!"

But I finally processed it and am now at a point as a food addict, that I refuse to allow food rule my life anymore. I refuse to allow myself to feel ashamed because I am doing something that has a prognosis of making my life better.

Before becoming a truck driver and currently a Dispatcher, I came from the Medical field. Which has a different outlook on health, medication and surgeries. So that could be the reason I see this as an an opportunity to teach others how to stop themselves before they end up as a class 3 to 4 obese aka super obese person.

I want to rub it into my employers face, whom I love and respect, but who specifically excludes weight loss surgery, but feel I need to make a point, that they will pay for rehab for a person who is a drug or alcohol addict, but not for a person who has dealt with an addiction to food even though they will pay for back surgery, the surgeries related to diabetes, the care and treatment for diabetic ulcers, kidney dialysis etc.

I will not be ashamed to take advantage of something that has a more proven track record than medication.

I didn't have much, but I had just enough in my retirement accounts to self pay for this DS surgery. But I looked at it this way, better to perform this act of self care with it, than to die before I can actually retire.

I can't do it on my own. I have to have help. And that is ok. Because at some point in our life we will have to admit we need help, and at 44, I finally admitted it to myself. And I will gladly admit that to whoever is curious enough to ask.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@Miss Impala

I appreciate your point of view and I applaud your decision to take care of yourself.

I am one of those who decided not to share and a few of your thoughts stood out prominently to me. First and foremost, you used the word ashamed repeatedly. I am not at all ashamed of my decision. I am not sure where my desire for privacy equates to shame.

Also, I have no desire to be "an example" for fellow fatties out there. I was obese for 20 years. I knew the options. Diets, exercise, surgery -- I'd researched every single one and I didn't need anyone telling me what the next best thing was going to be for me. The people I know who are of size also know about their options. It's up to them to decide when to exercise those options.

As for not "doing it on my own"? Who did it for me? I had the surgery. I did the exercise. I followed the plan. I weighed and measured my food. I followed my pre-op diet for a month and was on liquids and mushies (without straying off plan) for 8 weeks post op. I didn't eat solid foods for three months post op and I worked my ass off to lose my weight. I've worked even harder to keep it off for three years.

No one has done this for me. I did it. And because of that, I get to be ecstatically private about it.

[mimidanadrt2 12]

I have actually told several people. I figured that every who knows me well would see the change in diet and drastic weight loss and know I didn't suddenly figure out how to successfully shed tons of weight so I might as well be upfront. Especially after I was out of work for two weeks. Everyone I work with has been extremely supportive. The only person that hasn't really been that supportive is my mom which is laughable since she spent my entire childhood telling me how fat I was and comparing me to my size 0 sister. But everyone is different so if you don't want everyone to know then you just tell them whatever makes you feel comfortable. Don't sweat it!

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