Not telling anyone. What do you say?

[Ssze1109 163]

So I'm scheduled for Nov 9th. The only people I am telling are my husband, daughter and Mom. I am taking only 10 full days off work because I have no paid time at work.

So, when people start to notice and say things to you, what is your response? If they ask outright if you had surgery what do you say?

Is 10 days off work enough? I'm in and out of the car all day long. Thanks,

[Suga Renique Reborn 115]

I always respond "portion control", "lots of water" and "movement" which is true.

[Berrybaby 13]

I haven't told anyone, except husband obviously. My colleagues saw my Protein shakes and commented, so I said I was under the guidance of a nutritionist (true). I hate lying. Am back at work 1 week post op, and someone commented on my anti-puke patch behind my ear, so said I'd had some tummy troubles while on leave, also true. I however have a huge bruise on my hand/lower forearm from failed cannulation attempts, which might raise further questions.

I had surgery Tuesday, and was back to work the following monday. Hard, but went with the process thinking of taking enough pain relief in order to mobilise comfortably, so was doing laps of the ward the day of surgery, and kept going. Am doing 25min walks each morning now. My job involves a lot of in/out of cars, and so far am managing on panadol (?tylenol).

Getting moving helps enormously.

All the best for your op!!

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[2ndSpring 350]

I had my surgery on a Wednesday. I was off Thurs & Fri and then all of the following week. By then, I didn't have much pain and I was doing pretty well with liquids and Protein. The first 7 calendar days were really tough for me, but then all of sudden it got easier and easier each day after that.

I've only told my daughter, son-in-law and parents. I'm a really bad liar so I'm going to stay as close to the truth as I can...... very low carb, high Protein and Portion Control. all of which is true.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I am working with my doctor on a high Protein, high fat, low carb diet and I am moving my ass a LOT.

Period.

Any further questions simply get a full resting bitch face and a reply of "I'm sure you didn't mean to sound as rude as you did."

No one has ever asked me if I had surgery. If they did, I would simply ask them why they thought they had the right to ask me such an intrusive question.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

My hubby and two teen daughters know. My own sister doesn't know. Anyone who has asked (I'm two months out of surgery and down 56 pounds over 6 months) I say I'm working with my doc and a nutritionist and following their advice religiously and that my diet is very high Protein, very low carb and I'm working with a personal trainer. Every last bit of that is true. Should someone ask directly if I had surgery, I will look them straight in the face and ask them if they had sex last night (which I would do when people asked when I was going to have children.) That generally makes folks realize immediately how far over the line they have gone.

[Joy@boman 151]

I had a hernia repair as well so i just say that. Most people dont really care lol. After hiatal hernia you have to be on special diet so that accounts for about everything. But the truth is if we don't eat right and move we won't lose so saying diet and movement is the truth.

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[gustavio 439]

I told my husband only. I have 3 teenagers at home and didn't even tell them. With the sleeve the weight loss is not questionably rapid. I've lost 50 lbs in 2 months and nobody has questioned me. They see that I eat healthy and that I go walk during lunch. I work 7 days on and 7 days off so I took a week after surgery and nobody noticed since it was my normal 7 days off. As for family that knew I was in the hospital, it was because I had a hernia surgery. Which isn't a lie. We have a biggest loser game at work where you win money that I was ROCKING but dropped out because I felt like I was cheating since nobody was aware of my surgery. I just told them I had a lot going on and didn't have time to drive up there for weigh ins and stuff.

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[imightknow 39]

I haven't had surgery yet. My husband is the only one that knows. He is fully supportive of me not wanting to tell anyone. He knows that I don't like to share a lot of stuff from our lives normally, so this isn't any different. We like to prevent any drama that our families can create out of nothing. My oldest heard me talking about getting a tubal, she asked when I was going to do that. So I'm just going to stick with that, a tubal. I'm not going to tell her anything else, since I am trying to get it done at the same time. I'm not really active on social media, but after the surgery, I plan to start posting about working out and getting into shape. Hopefully that will be enough for people when my body changes. I know two people that have had the surgery and two that have had a bypass. And I have been there when family has talked so negatively about those people. One was recent and they said she looked so gross because she had lost a lot of weight, but honestly, the girl looks amazing. They are just negative. When I had lost weight previously (many years ago), they said that I looked so sick because of the size of my wrists. I wasn't even that small, I wore a size 10 for pete's sake. Haha.

If people were to outright ask me, I'll probably say that I wish I did and laugh it off. But I don't think I'd just say no. But you can't really do anything if people just assume or gossip. There are just negative people out there like that. And will think what they want, no matter what you say.

I am trying to get this one job. I was talking to my husband about how I'd get off for the surgery. I'm not sure yet how the company works, but hopefully I can take 2 weeks off if I get the job. He said that I'd have to tell them. I don't think I will. I might just say that it my tubal. Or emergency. You don't have to disclose that information. So I'm hoping for the job and that I'll get the time off. Even if it is without pay. I'd still be happy. I'm going to take 2 weeks off of school too.

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[limase63 39]

"Thanks for noticing. I'm working on it." And believe me, the surgery is only part of it....You'll be working on it.

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[HalFAB-ulous! 36]

I'm curious why you don't want to tell (no judgement, just curious). I'm choosing to be upfront because I want to help take away the stigma. (My choice...DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOURS!)

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[Nikki44 5]

@halFab: I'm super private. I only share personal stuff with my closest family and my besties. I think it's great that you want to help remove the stigma!

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[HalFAB-ulous! 36]

Totally fair! I have friends who are very private too! (I kind of envy them.

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[SLH-A 49]

I'm curious why you don't want to tell (no judgement, just curious). I'm choosing to be upfront because I want to help take away the stigma. (My choice...DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOURS!)

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I think everyone has a different reason for not wanting to disclose surgery. Mine was I didn't want my family knowing because I didn't want them to try to talk me out of it. And on another level, I didn't want them to know in case I were to somehow fail at loosing weight. I didn't want the added pressure.

2 days before surgery I decided to tell my parents. I just couldn't stop thinking about what if something were to happen during surgery? My wife would have to call and explain it all, and I didn't want her to have to do that. It turns out my mother was thrilled I was having the surgery. Her exact words were "You're doing what I never had the guts to do." 4 weeks later and I'm still shocked by her words. Family can be surprising.

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[HalFAB-ulous! 36]

So true! I am not close to my family, but meant to tell them in case the unthinkable...but forgot. Good thing I survived!

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