7days before surgery and now scared

[wantenergy83 5]

My surgery is November 7th... I jumped through all the hoops for insurance and was approved so fast. I knew before I started that i wouldnt get paid sick leave or temp disability but I went for it anyways. I was prepared to make life happen on my fiancees pay but now its really hitting me that I must depend on someone else again and I havent had to do that since I was with my abusive, drug addict, exhusband nearly 8yrs ago. I hate knowing i wont have my own money coming in to support my children. I know my fiancee loves me and my children we have been together for 6.5yrs. I have worked for myself for 6yrs, i dont take vacations and I dont ask for help...this isnt like me to lay down and accept help...especially nearing Christmas... How do I learn to accept that i will not be providing for my children for almost 6wks and to accept his help?

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[_Kate_ 2,224]

Turn it round and if he was having the surgery to be healthy would you support him? I bet you would.

Also remember its 6 weeks and not forever. I know its hard as I was alone a long time before I married my second husband so I know exactly where you are coming from and no it isn't easy.

Have you discussed your feelings with your partner? Does he know how you feel and what was his response?

[Mountaingal 322]

You may not be bringing money into your relationship for six weeks but you will be bringing in something that may be even more valuable. You will be working towards a longer healthier life to spend with him and your children. You are blessed if he is willing and able to do this for you.

[VSG_Brandnewkindame 17]

As a single mother, I understand why it is SO hard to accept help... but life & health = the best kind of wealth one could have!! & you will be able to return the favor 10 fold... & be a better mother & companion all for making this choice. Trust the process - for you. Good luck!!

[trekker954 421]

Why six weeks? If this is really worrying you, I'll ask again why six weeks? What type of job do you have that will require six weeks off. I was stir crazy after two weeks and couldn't wait to get back to work. I even flew after three weeks and again at four weeks for meetings.

If I didn't have sick leave, fiance or not, I wouldn't be taking six weeks off. Most of us are feeling just fine after 2 or definitely after 3. Only a small percentage have complications.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@wantenergy83 Keep reminding yourself that you can't take care of yourself or your children with the health issues that come along with obesity and by taking this time for yourself - you'll be in a better place to take care of your children. You deserve to be able to get healthy and have someone take care of you for a short time. Be thankful that you have someone able to help you during this time - this is for your future - and your family's future!!! Stay strong!!!

[wantenergy83 5]

Turn it round and if he was having the surgery to be healthy would you support him? I bet you would.

Also remember its 6 weeks and not forever. I know its hard as I was alone a long time before I married my second husband so I know exactly where you are coming from and no it isn't easy.

Have you discussed your feelings with your partner? Does he know how you feel and what was his response?

Today, a few hours after posting this I finally told him how I really feel.. How i just hate relinquishing control. (It was through text message) he replied with "you arent alone and you never will be".

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[wantenergy83 5]

Why six weeks? If this is really worrying you, I'll ask again why six weeks? What type of job do you have that will require six weeks off. I was stir crazy after two weeks and couldn't wait to get back to work. I even flew after three weeks and again at four weeks for meetings.

If I didn't have sick leave, fiance or not, I wouldn't be taking six weeks off. Most of us are feeling just fine after 2 or definitely after 3. Only a small percentage have complications.

I am a full-time caretaker to a wonderful woman with Alzheimer's... I lift her multiple times a day.

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[wantenergy83 5]

@@wantenergy83 Keep reminding yourself that you can't take care of yourself or your children with the health issues that come along with obesity and by taking this time for yourself - you'll be in a better place to take care of your children. You deserve to be able to get healthy and have someone take care of you for a short time. Be thankful that you have someone able to help you during this time - this is for your future - and your family's future!!! Stay strong!!!

I keep telling myself that it is for the best its just more of me learning to trust.

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[newjerseygirl60 45]

All I have to say is AMEN PEOPLE wonderful responses!

[wantenergy83 5]

Thank you everyone for the positive replies... If I hadnt posted on here I doubt i wouldve have had the courage to be honest with him.

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[Djmohr 6,965]

@@wantenergy83

I would just call out that you should not be out long with this surgery either. I could have returned to work within a week.

How much time are you taking off?

[wantenergy83 5]

@@wantenergy83

I would just call out that you should not be out long with this surgery either. I could have returned to work within a week.

How much time are you taking off?

I lift over 100lbs on a daily basis, multiple times a day... I lift elderly people frequently throughout the day... I work for myself... For my health i know i can not return to work within a week.

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[newjerseygirl60 45]

No you can't be pulling and lifting these people that's dangerous for you and them!

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[Djmohr 6,965]

@@wantenergy83

Definately not.....if you are doing any heavy lifting it will need to be a while. So sorry that this puts the added stress on you but it will be worth it in the end.

I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming surgery!