How does everyone deal with the social pressure to eat while eating out?

[Travelher 915]

I went out for dinner for the first time with my husband last night. I ordered Soup and ate about 3/4 cup. The server asked me if everything was ok? With concern. I assured him it was delicious and prayed the owner did not also come and do the same. It was a flashback to 10 years ago when I was first dating my husband and I had a lap band and waiters would do the same thing. It was embarrassing because it happened on almost every date. My husband would probably have never noticed it had everyone else not kept pointing it out.

How do you handle this?

[LisaMergs 2,854]

Why are you worried?

If you want to preempt the issue, simply tell the waiter/ess you don't eat a lot, or aren't that hungry and you're just having "X" or that you probably won't eat your whole meal, please bring a to go container with the plate.

They want you to be happy with the meal, yes, but really, how much you choose to eat is none of their business.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[#BirdDog 604]

Tell them the food was awful and demand they take it off the bill.

Okay not really, I just tell them the food is great, just not real hungry... could I get a to go box? Seems to work well every time.

Edited October 31, 2016 by #BirdDog

[LisaMergs 2,854]

Tell the the food was awful and demand they take it off the bill.

Okay not really, I just tell them the food is great, just not real hungry... could I get a to go box? Seems to work well every time.

LMMFAO

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Dairymary 533]

I either split something with my husband, order just an appetizer, or get a whole entree for myself and ask for a to go box right up front. That way no one is surprised when I don't eat much. My friends actually love going out to eat and splitting an entree with me because they feel like they are "eating light" but they actually get 3/4 of the meal.

[Clarevoyant 347]

I am traveling for business now for two months. I have an apartment with a kitchen but eat out maybe once a week with work colleagues. The waiter always asking if I didn't like my food annoys the hell out of me.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Travelher 915]

I am traveling for business now for two months. I have an apartment with a kitchen but eat out maybe once a week with work colleagues. The waiter always asking if I didn't like my food annoys the hell out of me.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I know, right? I'm traveling for work in a couple of weeks. I'll be going out with colleagues, most of whom know about the surgery, so It won't be so awkward. It is annoying though.

Usually with large groups someone orders appetizers for the table. That leaves an opening for the old "oh I'm stuffed, I filled up on appetizers"

Edited October 31, 2016 by Travelher

[Travelher 915]

Why are you worried?

If you want to preempt the issue, simply tell the waiter/ess you don't eat a lot, or aren't that hungry and you're just having "X" or that you probably won't eat your whole meal, please bring a to go container with the plate.

They want you to be happy with the meal, yes, but really, how much you choose to eat is none of their business.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Not worried now...but it made it awkward when I was first dating and people start noticing you not eating. This is not something most people anticipate having to deal with pre-surgery. Just something people need to prepare for. I ended up up telling my (now) husband about my surgery. Pretty early on...so it no longer mattered. Others are more sensitive about it. Especially in early dating scenarios.

[RJC5197 282]

Just tell them you have 4 starving children at home and have to save some for them. . .

That should really get them talking?

[blizair09 3,250]

We've only been out to eat once since my surgery, and it was when I was still on liquids. My partner and our good friend had some steamed seafood, and I asked the server to bring me a chilled glass for my Protein shake. I explained that I had recently had bariatric surgery, and then she asked me a bunch of questions because it was something she was interested in herself. We got excellent service for the rest of the night.

[James Marusek 5,244]

Generally I order either something small such as an appetizer as a meal or a full meal and take the rest home as leftovers for the week. Sometimes I get the look from waiters. But I am open about my surgery. I just explain to them that I have lost over 100 pounds through surgery and now my stomach is about the size of a fist. That generally seems to satisfy them.

[MaryCatherine 173]

The people who own and work in restaurants are there to make money. They don’t appreciate people who take up their seats and their time and don’t spend enough money.

They would rather have someone order a $40.00 meal and leave an $8.00 tip than someone who orders a $3.00 bowl of Soup and leaves a fifty cent tip.

They don’t care that you can’t eat more. When I go to a restaurant, I order a full meal and a takeout box. I tip generously. I usually have enough leftovers for three more meals, but I don’t make the business owner and waitstaff suffer because of my inability to control my eating without surgery.

[LisaMergs 2,854]

The people who own and work in restaurants are there to make money. They don’t appreciate people who take up their seats and their time and don’t spend enough money.

They would rather have someone order a $40.00 meal and leave an $8.00 tip than someone who orders a $3.00 bowl of Soup and leaves a fifty cent tip.

They don’t care that you can’t eat more. When I go to a restaurant, I order a full meal and a takeout box. I tip generously. I usually have enough leftovers for three more meals, but I don’t make the business owner and waitstaff suffer because of my inability to control my eating without surgery.

Harsh.

There is no rule that says you need to spend "x" dollars just because you are sitting in a restaurant seat. It's a service industry. And yes, they're there to make money. I put myself through college waiting tables and bar tending. Never once was I pissed that one person in a party ordered less, or ordered a soda instead of a mixed drink. Never crossed my mind. It all evens out through the course of a shift.

And lest you be further mistaken, most servers DO care and will go over board to make certain you are given exactly what you need to have an enjoyable experience and eat on plan. And then, because service was exemplary, they are tipped accordingly. I've NEVER tipped 20% on a $3 bowl of soup...ever... They'll usually a minimum of 50% or more from me in gratuity.

People should NOT feel like they need to spend exorbitantly just to occupy a chair.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

@@LisaMergs I could not agree more with ^ statements. I also waited tables for 20 years. I treated everyone the same if they order a small something or a full meal. I was not there to tell people what to eat, only to take the order and serve them what they ordered and give the best service to everyone.

I only order a full meal if i know my son at home is going to want the left overs. I don't eat leftovers that often. They don't agree with me.

I have no problem going sit in a restaurant and ordering a bowl of Soup and nothing to drink...... or i may just order a few cocktails... Depends on my mood

[newjerseygirl60 45]

I will let you know my story on Wednesday going to the Bahamas Breeze Tomorrow with some co-workers of mine this is going to be a trip!!!!! Because this is Day 1 of my liquid Diet!!