Feeling defeated.

[Alistmurf 23]

Just need to vent to people that might actually understand what I'm going through. I have a surgery date finally after putting my foot down to people who were against it. It just seems like every time I get one step ahead something always happens. I just feel so defeated and feel like it's just not going to happen or it wasn't meant to be. I know this surgery will be a game changer for me. I just wish I didn't have so many negative people impacting my happiness about it.

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Stop talking to anyone who is negative

It's your life and your unhappy

Stay w positive people..

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It's kind of hard when it's my mother in law lol.

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[Alistmurf 23]

Yesterday my mother decided to give me the "taking the EASY way out" speech... AGAIN!!! But I feel better today. I know it's my decision. You would think at the age of 36 it wouldnt even effect me. But sadly it still does.... everytime:(

Isn't it the worst. Us doing nothing about our weight is the easy way out. Surgery is not easy at all. Watching other people eat what they want is not easy. And cooking for your family something you can't have is not easy. My mother in law says the same thing. She tells me I should go to the gym everyday. Some people just can't lose the weight. It's not like we haven't tried. Gets me so mad!

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[Fredbear 397]

Not sure why so many people on here are so beholden to what their families think. You're purportedly an adult; act like it!

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

[blizair09 3,250]

Yesterday my mother decided to give me the "taking the EASY way out" speech... AGAIN!!! But I feel better today. I know it's my decision. You would think at the age of 36 it wouldnt even effect me. But sadly it still does.... everytime:(

Ignore her and do what is best for you. At some point, our parents' opinion should just become an opinion.

[Alistmurf 23]

Not sure why so many people on here are so beholden to what their families think. You're purportedly an adult; act like it!

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Some of us adults respect the opinions of our loved ones. Having support is a lot easier then not having it at all. You don't need to be rude.

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[Fredbear 397]

Not sure why so many people on here are so beholden to what their families think. You're purportedly an adult; act like it!

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Some of us adults respect the opinions of our loved ones. Having support is a lot easier then not having it at all. You don't need to be rude.

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I don't think it's rude to point out that adults should make their own decisions about their body, and be mature enough to ignore the ignorant opinions of their unsupportive family members and acquaintances.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

[co-lyndee 5]

If anyone thinks this is the easy way out they have never been through the this... this is a tool to help the journey but requires slot of physical, emotional, and mental hard work. I wish you the best on your journey. I just had my surgery 3 days ago and already it's a mental struggle.

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[deeclem19 24]

Okay, here it is. The less people you tell YOUR a business the less negativity you will encounter. You reap what you sow. My husband and I told no one and we have no one who knows our business. How easy is that!? Good luck!!!!

I want to double triple quadruple like this post! I've run into some negative people and the way I see it, those people have their own reasons for it and maybe they wish they had the courage to go through what you have decided to do and take charge of your life. Good luck to you !!!

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[healthybarb 13]

After reading your posts and the replies, I can't help wondering if there isn't a correlation between the shape we are in and all of the emotional manipulation many of us have encountered in our lives.

Well, today is a new day! We are taking charge of our health and lives! We are making a decision to use a tool and a deep personal commitment to be healthy, trim and active for the remainder of our lives.

I have to agree with Vinasu's comment, do nothing to compromise your health! You come first in this journey!

You've got a team of sleevers behind you all the way!

I thought I was the only one with a family full of assholes.. Ooops...
I apologize truly, please forgive me, just thinking about how these people keep making me feel:/

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It's seriously the worst feeling when the people who you would think would support you doesn't. Don't don't apologize at all. I feel the same way!

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[Miss Rachel 25]

I have people who don't think this is a good idea and I could just diet and lose the weight. Here it is, this is your body and I'm going to say something not so nice, tell them to go f**k themselves. Until you can't make a decision on your own and have to have other people wipe your butt, you get to be your own person. You are doing what is best for you and congratulations on being your own advocate and taking a stand. You got this.

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[Hammer_Down 631]

Like many others, I didn't tell anyone until immediately before the surgery.

My wife and I told her parents about 2 weeks before we left for Mexico. They were curious about why we would plan an anniversary trip to Tijuana instead of the Rivieria Maya or some resort somewhere. We were very well researched, to the point that I think they were worried about insulting us with banal questions like "Isn't Mexico too dangerous to visit?".

I told my own parents last night, a week after the surgery was done. My mother is a pharmacist and I knew she would be worried sick, no matter where we were going. She is adamantly anti-drugs, and won't even take Tylenol because she knows how toxic many drugs are.

Naturally, she didn't exactly approve of my choice. I riddled off all the prescribed meds we brought home, and she gave me advice on each one and any side effects I might have. But ultimately, she said she was grateful because she wouldn't have slept a wink had she known why we were in Mexico.

No one else knows. I won't lie about it if they ask, but i plan on keeping it to myself.

[HisMrsWright 6]

My mother was the same way when I let her know I was starting the Bariatric program. She told me I could do it myself and was not supportive. I never spoke another word of it to her. I went along with my program and 7 months later had a surgery date. I went back and forth a lot about telling them at that point. I finally sent an email to my parents the morning of with links to the surgeons website and the name of the procedure so they could educate their self. In the end I only told them just in case something happened to me because I have two children, their grandchildren and that could've turned into a mess. Since surgery my dad jokes with me about food and I wish he would shut up and all my mom did was ask what surgery I had and she isn't happy that I had part of my stomach removed and it is not reversible. As I've grown older my parents opinions matter less and less to me because honestly they are close minded a holes. The only family who have been super supportive of my journey are my husband and my mother and father in law. Who would've though it would take surgery to bring in laws closer! In the end though I wanted what I wanted and I didn't care what anyone else had to say.

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[Ki.B 10]

Look hun, "The haters hate us cuz they aint us!" lol

I went through the same thing this past summer with my family i actually had a family member who disapproved some much of my surgery she came to visit for a few days just to fat shame me into not getting surgery if that makes any sense at all! It was the worst but it didnt stop me from starting my process, and you shouldn't let negative people stop you. Dont let someone's bad juju spoil a decision you've deiced to make to better yourself. if they dont like it they can always stage left out of your life! You deserve happiness , you deserve to wake up every morning and look in the mirror and absolutely love the person you see. Be happy be confident and kick ass in the process!

xo Ki

[blizair09 3,250]

My parents certainly aren't perfect, but after reading so many posts on here, I am so thankful that they are them. My Mom, Dad, and brother, along with my partner, have been my rock throughout this entire journey.

To those with unsupportive families, I'm sorry. Do what you know is right for you and move forward with improving your health and your life. Ultimately we are responsible for our own health and happiness!

[Alistmurf 23]

I booked my surgery for January 26th. I want to thank you all for your positivity and helping me realize that it's no one's decision but my own. I'm really excited about this step and I can't wait to start my new healthy lifestyle.

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