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Odd sense of calm/confidence?



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I'm new to this whole thing. I found this website/app last week and have been lurking it constantly ever since. Reading it helps keep me focused on the positive that is in my future, because if I focus on my present (day 7 of my pre-op liquid diet) I get anxious and start googling the amount of calories in chicken nuggets and so on. So thank you to everyone who posts before/after pics and stories because it really helps.

I'm writing this to ask if anyone else has experienced an odd level of confidence or been surprised at their ability to stick to the liquid diet? I started my process at 320 pounds in mid-August. I knew ahead of time my insurance would approve me because I'm lucky enough to have direct contact with the people making those decisions in my insurance company. Once I knew I would get approved I started dieting because the nutritionist told me I needed to lose 17 pounds before surgery, I never thought I'd make that haha. As I settled in to the diet, I found that this time around I wasn't as tempted to cheat or as powerless when it came to cravings etc. I got cleared officially and had to go in for my blood tests and such, while I was there they weighed me and I had already lost 16 of the 17 pounds I needed too, which gave me a boost in confidence. Then I started my liquid diet, which has definitely not been easy, but between this site and knowing that I won't feel the way I feel right now for long after the surgery I have found it easier than expected to not cheat on the liquid diet. It also helps a lot that I weighed myself yesterday and saw I had lost an additional 13 pounds since I started the liquid diet. It hasn't been easy, I had to watch everyone at the office eat cake and fast food all week and had to deliver a bunch of very tasty looking tacos to some of my employees (of which there were ten too many and a small part of my brain said "let's eat some, it'll be alright" in a golem voice from Lord of the Rings, but I have not cheated once. Sorry for rambling haha.

Anyone else get that odd level of confidence?

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I started taking a lot of pride in sticking to it, I can tell you that much. I started feeling like I was setting the tone for my new journey, and I wanted to do it well. As the days wore on and I got closer to my surgery date, I did feel like I had achieved a lot in sticking to that diet. And of course, when I weighed in the morning of surgery and had lost over 30 pounds, that was a thrill in itself.

It sounds like you have a good mindset, going in. That's great, because it IS a mental challenge to make this change. But you're setting the right tone, so go get 'em.

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I went in with the same confidence and still trust my surgery to keep me at goal nine years later. People who are successful need that permanent attitude change.

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That is awesome to have confidence & you should. I think that was hardest week for me was week before surgery as far as food (had some personal issues that I posted about but dealing with them now cause I got on to post & saw yours). You are doing this for yourself, & good you have confidemce. I felt some too that week cause it is hard but you just have to keep your eye on the end goal & it is all about living a healthier life.

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Best of luck to you.

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I understand how you're feeling. I started my journey in February with my PCP and I weighed 397 pounds (a BMI of almost 53). She referred me to the man that would become my surgeon, and I had my first of six required monthly appointments with his staff on March 3. They had no weight loss expectations, but I said I wanted to lose 40 pounds (about 10% of my body weight). Once I got going, I was determined to make the most of that time. As the months went on, my confidence grew, and on the day of surgery (September 28), I had lost 99 pounds.

I won't lie; I was freaked out from about a week before the surgery until the anesthesiologist knocked me out. But, my pre-op success gave me a certain leg-up in the process (at least in my mind). I walked into that hospital looking like a million bucks very proud of what I had already accomplished. This confidence has helped me tremendously post-op as well. I am convinced it has helped to speed my recovery, meet my Protein and Fluid goals, and stay positive even when I felt like hell those first few days home. Also, when I hit that "three week stall" (and so will you -- it happens to everyone), I have handled that much better as a person who has already lost almost 120 pounds as opposed to a person in the same situation who has just gotten started and has only lost 20 pounds.

All this is to say have the confidence, embrace it, and let it work to propel you toward your goals. The sky is the limit, and you can achieve whatever you want to achieve!

Best wishes!

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Thank you for your replies. I was also wondering how common it is for people in my/our position to have diagnosed anxiety issues. Over the years the heavier I got the worse my social and general anxiety got. I saw a doctor about it and he wanted me on medication but I refused because I didn't want to become dependent on it or dampen myself as I've heard those medications can do. So what ended up happening is I became a shut in. I damn near have a panic attack doing regular things like going to the grocery store, meeting anyone new, or even making necessary calls for work to people. Is this common in obese/overweight people? I just wanna gauge how much of this anxiety may go away once I get to a healthier weight and lifestyle. Also, can someone reiterate to me how awesome it is to fit in a booth at a restaurant, in a seat on a plan without a seatbelt extension, and on a rollercoaster without feeling super embarrassed? Etc. For those who have already gone through the process, what little things like that have meant the most to you?

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Thank you for your replies. I was also wondering how common it is for people in my/our position to have diagnosed anxiety issues. Over the years the heavier I got the worse my social and general anxiety got. I saw a doctor about it and he wanted me on medication but I refused because I didn't want to become dependent on it or dampen myself as I've heard those medications can do. So what ended up happening is I became a shut in. I damn near have a panic attack doing regular things like going to the grocery store, meeting anyone new, or even making necessary calls for work to people. Is this common in obese/overweight people? I just wanna gauge how much of this anxiety may go away once I get to a healthier weight and lifestyle. Also, can someone reiterate to me how awesome it is to fit in a booth at a restaurant, in a seat on a plan without a seatbelt extension, and on a rollercoaster without feeling super embarrassed? Etc. For those who have already gone through the process, what little things like that have meant the most to you?

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@@henryXyorkshire I read your beginning post and this one, and I LOVE your positivity and attitude and where you are mentally. You are thinking ahead, and I think that will keep you strong and steady on the course.

Probably hard for anyone to answer for all obese people if anxiety is tied to their obesity or not, but I will tell you my weight has been up and down my whole life, and yes, I typically had more confidence when at a closer to normal weight, and therefore for me, less anxiety. But starting in my late 30's and into my early 40s, anxiety for me was less about where my confidence level was, and more of a physiological response to a stressor that I could no longer control for whatever reason. For example, get cut off by some jerk in traffic....I'd have an initial "aarrgghh ggrrrhhh!!!!" reaction, and while mentally I'd be over it in a few seconds, my body however was responding for MUCH longer (increased heart rate, chest tight, tension, etc). It was like there was a disconnect between my brain and my body. For me at that time, a med was a good choice, because I was already dealing with hypertension and didn't feel like I could afford that intense of a physiological response to stress.

Now after surgery and feeling more in control of various aspects of my life, I've found I'm much less likely to have those anxious responses to stress, and I would say much of that is because I am able to get in much more exercise, so I believe my body knows it has an outlet, and no longer feels the need to keep that heightened reaction in the form of anxiety.

To answer your question about sharing little personal victories post-op, what I described above is a big one for me. And....being able to cross my legs again when I sit feels amazing!

Best of luck, you're going to do awesome!

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You, my friend, have an AWESOME attitude!! I feel like we have such good material now. Sites like this, Facebook, Support Groups and just being around LIKE MINDED PEOPLE!! I know of 3 people who had their WLS 20 or more years ago. One gained every bit of weight they had lost back plus more, One has gained a lot of her weight back and my niece hasn't gained any weight but eats crazy Like food rituals etc. One has had to have multiple Iron infusions and was allergic to some they used and almost lost her life. @ of these people had the same DR for their stomach stapling. Notice I didn't say RNY back then it was done this way and without any support from their Dr. One went back and had gained 20#'s back and her Surgeon told her that she was a disgrace to his program. They were told that if they needed support that there was a group but no address etc. Now the Surgeon's have perfected the WLS's. Like I said we are so fortunate to have our WLS in this day and age. They can do so much more with their technique's now. I hear people say all the time I just wish I'd had my WLS years ago. You won't hear me say this, I'm thankful for the knowledge and perfection they have aquired.

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@@henryXyorkshire You are going into this with a great attitude and that will help tremendously. I was shocked that I was able to stick to my liquid pre-op diet without any problems (I thought for sure I'd at least be a major bitch). Dealing with my eating issues pre-op has helped me post-op (even though I am only 5 days out). I had a confidence like you describe. If your anxiety worsens post-op (hormones are crazy and can increase depression and anxiety) - don't hesitate to seek therapy and get on some meds (even temporarily). It sounds to me like you are ready for this new life! Best of luck!

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@henryXyorkshire I'm on week 5 post-op now and I'll be taking a plane this weekend, and I'm excited to see how I fit in the seat, now. About a week ago, I dug into an old tub full of clothes I put away, because I hadn't fit in them in so long (over six years). I fit into everything in that tub, now. These are good feelings...and when I hit the last hole on this belt, or have to go get new stuff because everything is baggy, it's going to feel even better. The good feelings will just keep coming :)

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That sounds awesome. I unfortunately threw out most all of the clothes that stopped fitting, so I'll have to buy some new ones. Do you guys tell people about your surgery? I wrestled with it a bit, but ultimately decided that I'd tell most my friends and family. I got lucky in that everyone I've told has been pretty supportive, I had a few friends tell me they were really happy because the had watched me balloon up over the years and were worried but didn't know how to bring it up. That made me feel pretty good. My surgery is on Halloween, I have a pcp, therapy, and my final pre op appointment with my surgeon this week. I hope those and work distract me enough to where I don't focus on being hungry.

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
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        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

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        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

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