I felt like everyone was staring at me at the gym

[gustavio 439]

Ok no questions, just venting and since my surgery is a secret, this is the only place I can do that. Today was the first day I went to my local gym. It was too cold to walk outside so I went to do my 2 miles on the treadmill. All of the treadmills are against the wall where your backside is facing the entire gym. Then any machine anyone else uses they have their face pointed right at my rear end. I don't know if it was just me being self conscious or if people really were staring. I could feel it. Everyone in there was super fit except me and one older gentleman that was on the bicycle. As I was leaving a group of 4 ladies, varying in size but around my size showed up and by then, they were the only ones in the gym. Everyone else had left. If I hadn't already been humiliated, I would have introduced myself in hopes of "gym buddies". I went at 6:30 and left around 8 so maybe I just need to start going later. Or maybe, I'm being my old obsessive self again and nobody was really judging me. I felt like I could feel my ass jiggling with every step. I felt like I was sweating more than I should and they all noticed. I felt like I was breathing more rapid that I should have been and they noticed that too. I tried to turn my iPod on full blast to drown out the thoughts but it didn't work. I know I'm too hard on myself. I planned to stay and do some more after the treadmill but my spirit was broken. I did however finish my 2 miles on a steep elevation. I was determined to do that. But just kinda left after that. It took a lot for me to even walk in there. So, I'm discouraged.......again

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Edited October 21, 2016 by gustavio

[The New Kel 1,312]

@@gustavio,

I can understand! I am terribly self conscious, and the gym can be so intimidating. I am going today for the very first time since I just go my OK from the surgeon. All I can say is that you rock for going, no matter what anyone may or may not be thinking. You are miles ahead of those who don't go at all. Everyone has to start somewhere, and I think you should be commended for going! If you really are being judged, screw 'em.

The group of ladies you saw coming in when you were leaving might be a great way to start enjoying yourself, perhaps try to go when they go, introducer yourself and get workout buddies!

Hang in there and don't get discouraged. You have all of us in your corner, all of us also heading to the gym with the same feelings. Keep the rewards in mind!

[Armygalbonnie 643]

I bet they weren't looking at you, and if they were, they were probably thinking, "Good for her." Believe me, if they were looking at you, they will be the first ones to tell you how great you are looking when the weight starts falling off. People can be mean but I honestly feel like when they are at the gym, they are more concerned about how they look. Please don't let your new journey be hampered by what you think others might be thinking. Their opinion doesn't count. Walk into that gym, hold your head up high and start exercising. All the sweating is helping you melt fat. The heavy breathing will lessen as you get more fit. You will start to see many NSVs and you are going to rock that new body!!!

[Bufflehead 6,358]

Maybe I'm misreading something, but it sounds like nothing actually happened that made you feel humiliated, judged, and broken-spirited? You were just assuming that people were thinking these terrible things about you?

I know the gym can be a stressful place and that most of us feel really self-conscious in most public situations, let alone a gym, I totally get that. But if you can, work towards giving the people at the gym the benefit of the doubt and not assuming that they are all judgmental jerks. They may very well be nice people who were happy to see someone new in there working, or they may be nice people who weren't even paying any particular attention to you. And even if they are judgmental jerks, tell yourself that you aren't concerned with the opinions of judgmental jerks. I mean, they are judgmental jerks! You are better than judgmental jerks and you laugh in the face of their judgment! But seriously, I really doubt they were noticing or caring. I rarely go to the gym but when I do, the only attention I have ever paid to anyone else is when they interrupted me to talk about something, which is usually most unwelcome.

[gemigirl 134]

I'm 99 percent sure they weren't judging you. I've been going to the gym 3-6 times a week for 10 years, even at my heaviest. After you see the same people there a few times, you'll feel more comfortable chatting with them - it's one of my favorite places

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[mistycal 81]

I felt the same way at the gym at first, but from my experience of what I've seen is unless people are coming up to you saying your doing a great job and stuff like that, then people don't really notice others... The few times I've seen people "judging" others was to bigger men and they were encouraging them. You gotta get out of your head and remember why your there, and that you will most likely only see those people at the gym! And sooner than later you will look like those fit people and possibly feel the same way but that there checking you out lol

[Raynbolite 302]

I'm a gym newbie. I just stepped on the treadmill for the first time. The owner showed me how to use everything, but I look so ridiculous on the machines, I feel those eyes on me. I know I have to face this fear, but it doesn't mean I don't feel it. It's getting cold and my options are getting limited. We can do this, we gotta do what must be done. Next time you feel those eyes, remember, other people feel just like we do. Don't let this stop you. I'm not. I know you won't either. I'll be thinking of how awesome you're doing when I'm scared too.

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[vanzimme 7]

i too don't like going to the gm but i go. It does feel like gyms are for skinny people who dont need to loose weight and work out. But hey I need to do this so screw them and i put in my headphones and away i go. Sometimes i even will close my eyes and just push thru. Its hard but you gotta just know that this is the best for you. Good luck and keep going.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Sounds like you are your own biggest enemy to me.

[Butterflywarrior 241]

I've been to gyms and felt stared at too and I've actually seen ppo stare at me in my swim outfit ... but I ignore it. I was in a wheelchair for nearly two years and ppl gawked all the time....i quit noticing after awhile. Ppl mosr often will look mindlessly and not even be thinking about you and if they are that's there problem. They should be applauding u for being there!! Haha. But in all seriousness if someone really IS staring, think take a picture it lasts longer!!! And remember you are there to help you not them. They don't matter you do so give yourself a pep talk and move forward. It might help to bring a good friend who wants to workout...I did that a lot in college so I didn't feel so self conscious. I also brought my iPod full of good tunes to concentrate on while exercising and free my mental craziness!!

[gustavio 439]

Sounds like you are your own biggest enemy to me.

Definitely! I always have been.

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@@gustavio,

I can understand! I am terribly self conscious, and the gym can be so intimidating. I am going today for the very first time since I just go my OK from the surgeon. All I can say is that you rock for going, no matter what anyone may or may not be thinking. You are miles ahead of those who don't go at all. Everyone has to start somewhere, and I think you should be commended for going! If you really are being judged, screw 'em.

The group of ladies you saw coming in when you were leaving might be a great way to start enjoying yourself, perhaps try to go when they go, introducer yourself and get workout buddies!

Hang in there and don't get discouraged. You have all of us in your corner, all of us also heading to the gym with the same feelings. Keep the rewards in mind!

Thank you

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[gustavio 439]

I bet they weren't looking at you, and if they were, they were probably thinking, "Good for her." Believe me, if they were looking at you, they will be the first ones to tell you how great you are looking when the weight starts falling off. People can be mean but I honestly feel like when they are at the gym, they are more concerned about how they look. Please don't let your new journey be hampered by what you think others might be thinking. Their opinion doesn't count. Walk into that gym, hold your head up high and start exercising. All the sweating is helping you melt fat. The heavy breathing will lessen as you get more fit. You will start to see many NSVs and you are going to rock that new body!!!

You are probably right. I was in my emotions after I left there because of my own insecurities. I automatically feel judged because I'm judging myself.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[gustavio 439]

Maybe I'm misreading something, but it sounds like nothing actually happened that made you feel humiliated, judged, and broken-spirited? You were just assuming that people were thinking these terrible things about you?

I know the gym can be a stressful place and that most of us feel really self-conscious in most public situations, let alone a gym, I totally get that. But if you can, work towards giving the people at the gym the benefit of the doubt and not assuming that they are all judgmental jerks. They may very well be nice people who were happy to see someone new in there working, or they may be nice people who weren't even paying any particular attention to you. And even if they are judgmental jerks, tell yourself that you aren't concerned with the opinions of judgmental jerks. I mean, they are judgmental jerks! You are better than judgmental jerks and you laugh in the face of their judgment! But seriously, I really doubt they were noticing or caring. I rarely go to the gym but when I do, the only attention I have ever paid to anyone else is when they interrupted me to talk about something, which is usually most unwelcome.

Yes nothing in particular happened. I just assume. I hope I continue to gain confidence and it has been in the dirt the last several years. At one point a group of fit/built men were standing in a circle and I could see them in the mirror. They all started laughing at the same time and I had all but convinced myself that they were laughing at me. Ridiculous I know. I hope tomorrow is warmer so I can walk the lake where I can be alone and in my comfort zone. Lol

My husband things I look incredible of course and thinks I'm being dramatic. I know he is right but I can't help how my insecurities make me feel.

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[gustavio 439]

I've been to gyms and felt stared at too and I've actually seen ppo stare at me in my swim outfit ... but I ignore it. I was in a wheelchair for nearly two years and ppl gawked all the time....i quit noticing after awhile. Ppl mosr often will look mindlessly and not even be thinking about you and if they are that's there problem. They should be applauding u for being there!! Haha. But in all seriousness if someone really IS staring, think take a picture it lasts longer!!! And remember you are there to help you not them. They don't matter you do so give yourself a pep talk and move forward. It might help to bring a good friend who wants to workout...I did that a lot in college so I didn't feel so self conscious. I also brought my iPod full of good tunes to concentrate on while exercising and free my mental craziness!!

I know. I need to keep reminding myself that I don't even know these people so why do I give a crap what they think.

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[gustavio 439]

I'm 99 percent sure they weren't judging you. I've been going to the gym 3-6 times a week for 10 years, even at my heaviest. After you see the same people there a few times, you'll feel more comfortable chatting with them - it's one of my favorite places

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I definitely need a gym buddy. I will feel less exposed and vulnerable

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Edited October 22, 2016 by gustavio