Looking for encouragement

[TheFox 0]

Hello everyone. I'm directing this at everyone, but I'd especially like to hear input from lower BMI bandsters on this, although I think the point of my question is pretty broad scale.

I've been researching the band for about 9 months now. I'm on the fence everyday about it. I'm afraid I'll regret it, afraid I'm taking the easy way out, afraid of complications, and because I'm a low BMI bandster I'm afraid I'm taking the "easy" way out. Truth is, I sincerely need to lose 60lbs before I can be considered a "normal" weight. I've been overweight for 20 out of my 24 years.

I just can't kick that feeling that I'm just doing it for vanity's sake. That I'm doing it to take a short cut, that I could do it on my own, that it's just me being lazy, etc etc. I can almost convince myself I don't need to lose the weight until I see a photo of myself and realize that I really am that large...and getting bigger.

In some ways coming to this board make those feelings worse, because I see so many of you that have had such incredibly hard journeys to get your LapBands. I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but I see so many that have had 100+lbs to lose with severe co-morbidities, and STILL had to fight with insurance or self pay. With struggles like that, I should just shut my whiny yap!

There's also a feeling that is hard to describe, but almost like betrayal. After years of being the poster girl for the "love your body the way it is" I'm cashing in all my chips at the shot to finally be normal. Or even, dare I say it, skinny. I feel like I've betrayed my empowered, confident fat girl, roots. I'm a wannabeskinny sellout. It's not that I haven't felt confident, or sexy, or empowered, but I've finally reached the point were I no longer feel...comfortable.

How did you overcome your last hurdle of self doubt? How did you know that this was the right thing for you? Tell me your stories. Where did your gumption to go for it come from? What did it take to get rid of that nagging voice in your head that said you were only doing it because you were giving up, too lazy, cheating, taking the easy way out, etc? Because I just can't shut that bitch up, and it's driving me crazy.

:help:

[kacee 3]

If you are that age and have been overweight since your age was in single digits, I would say that you are heading for deep doo doo in the future with your weight. I too was a relatively low BMI (38), and truth be told only had to lose about 75 pounds (58 if you go by the goal that my doctor wanted me at, which I firmly believe is too high for my height). I too have been overweight since about the age of 7. Believe me, if you are fighting now, you have no IDEA what kind of a fight lays in store for you as you mature and your metabolism slows down, not to mention having children, etc. Take a look at your family. Do you have other members in your immediate family with potential weight issues? Does it run in your family? If you are sitting there eating ding dongs and going "Okay, this is great, I'll just dump this money and then I will be like Kate Moss forever!" you better rethink the idea. This is not "plastic surgery". Believe me...you will work to get the weight off and then you will work the rest of your life to keep it off...it will just be done by behavior modification made easier by the band. I appluad that you are doing your homework.

[kacee 3]

I just can't kick that feeling that I'm just doing it for vanity's sake.

There's also a feeling that is hard to describe, but almost like betrayal. After years of being the poster girl for the "love your body the way it is" I'm cashing in all my chips at the shot to finally be normal. Or even, dare I say it, skinny. I feel like I've betrayed my empowered, confident fat girl, roots. I'm a wannabeskinny sellout. It's not that I haven't felt confident, or sexy, or empowered, but I've finally reached the point were I no longer feel...comfortable.

:help:

With obesity comes those nasty co-dependencies. Being your age doesn't exclude you from the ravages of it. As your weight goes up, those things will creep into your life...high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, aching joints, being out of breath, lethargy, sleep apnea....nasty things a girl your age should never have to experience and hopefully won't see at all, or until well into your elder years. It's not just about your looks, though at your age that's the major issue, and that is understandable. Until I was 40 I was invincible and would live forever. The raw fear of mortality was one reason I got the band. I am 55 and saw an early demise where I was headed. So you may be more concerned with your looks now, but your health will come along too, along with loss of weight. That's numberone for me...maybe number two for you, but it's part and parcel to the same package. What a gift!

You sound like you were trying to be the "fat happy girl". We've all done that to cope. You want to be THE one who says "Screw em. I'm big AND beautiful!" (as we slide past the mirror with our eyes averted). You're not betryaing anyone. You are opening your eyes to reality. If you want a full life, you're gonna have to knock that weight off. PERIOD. End of story. Reality check. If you have the support and wherewithall to do it now, go for it kiddo.

[kacee 3]

Oh and by the way, I was 55 before I "gave in to the easy way"....what a CROCK! I never listen to that! If I could have done this in my 20's I would have without batting an eye. I have hidden in obesity my WHOLE LIFE. Well....I've got a few more good years in me, and I'm going to enjoy them as a healthy person at a decent weight. No more "large cuffs" at the doctor's office for blood pressure, no more "X plus" sizes...I'm gonna shop at a (GASP!) department store (for the first time in over 15 years!). YEEHAA!!!!

[musicalmomma 1]

Um....what Kacee said!!!

If you've been overweight most of your life, the statistics say you won't be a "lower bmi" bandster for long. Your at the prime of your life...grab the gusto!!!! I am not trying to make a decision for you...but if I could have gotten the band when I was lower BMI, things would be MUCH different for me now as I push 40!

Oh...and if you do get banded, you will soon find out first hand that this is NOT easy. It's a tool that let's you know when you've had enough to eat and you stop eating. You still have to eat the right foods and exercise. THe first few months can be VERY difficult as you adjust to your new lifestyle. Oh if I only had that tool 15 years ago!!! OK...dream over!

Keep us posted :mad: Good luck to ya!

[lawanda jessica 0]

I have to be honest,

If i never tried on my own than no I would not have went for the band.

Here is my story,

When I was 11 I became bulemic for a week.

At 17 I was 189 pounds at 5ft1.

I damn near starved myself to death and excercised 6 days a week and got down to 123 pounds.

About a 2years later,

I picked the weight back up to 175.

I got pregnant and went to 252 pounds.

I always said that if I got to 200 pounds I would kill myself.

Well I should have had a couple of funerals.

After my daughter I was on alot of birth control but I still managed to get back down to 215.

On the depo shot I went back up to 250.

I did this product called fat flush and it didn't work.

Maybe 5 pounds or so .

Then I seperated from my fat hating husband and stop smoking and lost almost 90 pounds on this product called advocare and taebo.

I kept the weight off for a minute.

Than I met this guy started smoking again and I also had finals in college.

My mother was mistreating me and I was a single mom in her house at the time after my divorce.

I gained back my weight once again up to 248.

I started taking phentermine and lost down to 196.

I excercised 5 days a week right after work so I wouldn't have an excuse.

Again I got lazy and comfortable,depressed,physically sick and gained the weight back after a year.

Steroids also have played a major roll in my life since I was 15yrs old.

I'm 31 now.

I have asthma,severe allergies,excema,pcos.

Than I did la weightloss and loss 10 pounds but I was allergic to their pills.

I had a severe allergic reaction.

I did Atkins for two weeks and my face broke out with these enormous zits!

A year later I did phentermine again and only dropped down to 218.

I got off of phentermine and gained back to 249.

Got the lapband this august and now down to 228.

Not to be funny but I think men make me fat too(laughing)

Sweety only you know what's best for you.

Trust the lapband is not the easy way out!

[lawanda jessica 0]

Oh yeah I'm 5ft2 now.

Like that makes a major difference.

[kacee 3]

Oh Lawanda...by the way. I developed eczema about 9 months ago on the back of my left arm....out of the blue. I went to the doctor and he said, "Oh yeah, this will come and go for the rest of your life" and I was insensed! I said "You can't cure this crap? This is insane!" I was HOT!!! After I was banded it went totally away. Never seen it since.

[TerriDoodle 6]

I ditto every word that's been said here. My weight has gone up and down up and down up and down my whole life. After a while you get darn sick of the roller coaster. Fortunately I've always been very healthy. This last couple of years that all changed...with lipids creeping up, back pain, foot pain, etc, etc, etc.... I saw my future clearly.

Only you know what's right for you, but if I was your age and was not "comfortable" with my weight....I'd go for it in a New York minute.