My personal pre-op story. Enjoy!

[khalid151 11]

I am starting this journal for the purpose of self reflection during my Weight-Loss journey. I have started this journey with a decision to take on weight loss surgery. I have been looming over this decision for quite a while. I would say somewhere near a year. However, there is an underlying thought in my head that has been there ever since I remember. That thought was “I need to lose weight soon before I find myself bedridden and unable to do something about it. I need to get back my life. I have lived 20 years being obese, I am now 30, and haven't tasted life because of my weight. No one looks at me twice, girls never care, I am always that nice guy in the background”.

Now in mid 2016, I sat down once alone in distant thought, saying, I have tried and tried over and over again to work on losing weight. Nothing seems to have a lasting effect. The most I have been able to maintain a healthy lifestyle has been 2 and a half months. In that time I had lost around 10-12 kg. But that was it. I would say that this is due mostly to myself, but also because of our general life-style here where I live. In my culture, we can’t do anything within walking distance. Everything we do, even grocery store is a short drive in intense heat. That naturally makes people not want to go out. When we shop for groceries, we shop in big quantities to reduce our time needed in grocery shopping.

It doesn't stop there, even for shopping or fun activities, everything is a long drive away. This doesn't help your body to naturally burn calories or lose weight. I come from a culture of food. I love food. I love cooking and challenging myself to new and difficult recipes. It comes naturally to me. I attribute that to my artistic sense.

So what now. How do I lose weight? How do I be fit? My only option was Weight Loss Surgery. I knew that this was my last resort, there isn't anything more I can do. I had fears. I was terrified of surgery. I had never ever had a procedure done before. The most I had experienced in a hospital was an injection to reduce a fever. That was it. So how am I going to go through this? This might not work for me.

I told myself. No surrender, no backing out - even if this surgery actually leads to my death. I had actually accepted losing my life than to sit and not do anything about it. It came to my head; If I die because of this, then at least I would have died trying. But if I survive this, I would DEFINITELY be stronger. So I started my research process. I looked at forums, videos, looked up surgeons in my country. And with good time, I found the right place to start. I picked up the phone and gave a call to a doctor in the neighbouring city. Scheduled an appointment and went through with it.

On my visit to my doctor, he gave me a detailed explanation on the procedure, what he will do, and what needs to happen during and immediately after the surgery. The risks involved and possible complications. I accepted all that. I was scheduled for tests, these were an Endoscopy, a CBC, EKG, Kidney and Liver functions and a Pulmonary test.

These tests took quite a while to finish. Overall around 3 to 4 months. But I had been patient. Upon my last visit to the doctor he asked me to start the Optifast liquid diet 10 days pre-op. I had taken a step further. I started the liquid diet around a month in advance. I realized that the success and ease of the surgery depends on how much weight I can lose before the surgery. So I can reduce the fat around my liver.

As the day came closer and closer, I felt fear creeping up. One of my thoughts were that I might not make it through this. As I mentioned, I had never gone through any medical procedure before. But now the day is coming closer and I made a promise to myself to never back down no matter the consequence.I once had a dream about 2 weeks before my surgery date. I dreamt that I was with my family and friends, it was very soon after post op and I was drinking something - don't remember what it was. While I was drinking I felt a sudden pain in my abdomen. It felt like I had been stabbed with a kitchen knife. I jumped out of bed cursing.

Sooner or later the day of my surgery came. I received a call from the hospital confirming my surgery day and confirming my hospital room. They asked me to check in late at night as my surgery was at 7am the following morning. I had some last minute preparations to do before checking in the hospital. It was the weekend, so I made use of it.

Saturday Morning I had to meet the anesthesiologist to confirm with him some details. I was scared honestly. Seeing the anesthesiologist meant to me that that’s it. No way out now! SO I expressed myself to him. I told him I was scared, nervous and anxious. He asked me what he can do for me. I told him please give me something when I check in to make me feel like i’m not in the hospital. He looked at me with questionable eyes and said: How? Since I’m me and I tell jokes when I’m nervous, I splurted out a very cheesy joke. I said, give me cocaine in my IV. He laughed hard at me and said, “I would, but unfortunately we don't have that product here, I will give you something else that would help a lot” I told him whatever it is, to please double the dosage…haha.

Anyway, Saturday night came, and I packed my bags and headed to the hospital at around 2am, since I wanted to minimize the waiting time in the hospital, which would kill me before I had the surgery. I checked in the room, immediately had a very warm and long bath. 4am, The nurse came in and gave me xanax 1.5g, I fell asleep. Hours later, I woke up very groggy at around 6:30am. The nurse came to prep me for surgery, I dressed up in that surgery gown and went back to bed, closed my eyes and said to myself I won't open my eyes until this is done. It was a pleasant sound that I heard while my eyes were closed. I heard my mother's voice cheering me on. I didn’t open my eyes but I said thank “Thank you mom, with you around, I feel like I can do this. Now please let me phase everything out of my mind”. My eyes still closed I heard footsteps and some chatter. Then suddenly I felt the bed was moving.There was an elevator. We went down. Then the elevator dinged a few seconds later followed by more forward movements. A few turns and finally we stopped. All this time my eyes were still closed.I felt a chill in my stomach, but that was because they had uncovered my abdomen. With my eyes closed, I took a very very small peak. Everything was yellow, but that’s probably the lights were shining behind my eyelids. But I something cold crawl up my left arm. Maybe they injected something into my cannula. Then with the corner of my left eye, I saw something approaching my face. Maybe some oxygen? Wasn’t too sure… Seconds later I screamed of the top of my head with chest pain. And very very heavy breathing. Wait! What just happened? The surgery was over! What the hell! When? How? Why can’t I breath. And why is the nurse yelling at me “BREATH”. Before I new it I was back in my room and woken up at 1pm. I woke up confused. I called the nurse with the button, and they came to me. I asked what happened. They said congratulations.

So the surgery was over instantly, I didn’t even realize that they gave me the anesthesia. It was like a blink. There was pain though. Intolerable pain in my chest. They gave me painkillers which worked like magic. But the pain was still there. So when my doctor came to visit me at around 6pm. We spoke, he told me the liquid diet really helped alot. He said that the surgery was over in 40 min. No issues, no complications and congratulated me. That made me really happy.

Later that day, my friends ALL came to visit me. I had 14 people in my hospital room. That meant the world to me! I showed them my scars, my drainage bag. I was still high from the Tramadol they gave me and the painkillers. My friends told me I had showed them my underwear too haha ! We walked in a big group around the hospital. Slowly, but confidently.

Here I am today, 10 days after the surgery. Most of the pain has gone away, except for my lower left side. Naturally that is where the biggest incision is. But for some reason, the scar doesn't hurt as much as the area under the scar. In the far bottom part of my tummy, around 5 inches south of the incision. I would have assumed that the actual incision would hurt. I’m starting to think that this might be a hernia, but I suppose it’s too soon to jump into conclusions. I’ll wait and see, continue to sip, sip, sip and walk, walk, walk for the time being.

I hope that you find this story enjoyable and I hope this helps someone with their decision to go ahead with the surgery. Personally I have never felt more proud of myself for going through with this. I have lost 20 pounds since my surgery and 22 pounds before the surgery with the liquid diet. So in 2 months I have lost 42 pounds. I am very happy. I can't wait for the weight stall to come in. I will most definitely start the gym and break that stall and embrace the changes that will happen to my body.

[Leopard sleeve 24]

Thank you so much for sharing . That was so impressive , I really enjoyed every word you said . I come to from food loving culture ...... but I would assume "not any more " .

my surgery is tomorrow the 19th.

Sent from my SGH-I337M using the BariatricPal App

[khalid151 11]

Thank you so much for sharing . That was so impressive , I really enjoyed every word you said . I come to from food loving culture ...... but I would assume "not any more " .

my surgery is tomorrow the 19th.

Sent from my SGH-I337M using the BariatricPal App

You are very welcome. Hang in there, before you realize it, you will be out of the hospital. Best of luck my friend !

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[mrsNilla 304]

I'm getting the rny, but I really enjoyed your story. You have a very vivid way of describing sounds and feelings.

Personally I'm just too curious to keep my eyes closed, even though I've seen op theaters a few times already.

Good luck with going forward and peeling layers off the real you for the world to see!

Nilla

[Rosey posey 176]

Thank you Khalid, its very real and enjoyable. Waiting for Chapter II okay?

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