Debating referral

[ginganinja14 4]

I recently saw my PCP regarding an entirely non-weight related topic when she brought up being referred to a bariatric clinic. I've not tried overly hard lately to try losing weight, but my attempts in the past have gotten me down 5 or 10#, then right back on. So I'm debating whether I want this or not... at 29 years old and 274# (41% BMI), I definitely want to lose the weight. As a nurse that has back issues causing chronic pain, and diabetes and heart disease in the family, I'm well aware of what may happen if I don't lose it... But I'm not sure if I can do what I need to do to get to surgery. I'd love to hear any feedback or stories that anyone is willing to share.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Welcome. This is a great question and you have come to the right place.

I was completely against the idea of surgery for a very long time but was at the end of my rope.

My PCP encouraged me to consider WLS and suggested I at least learn enough about it to make an informed decision. He referred me to an awesome Bariatric Surgeon. The more I learned and the further along in the process I went, the more I knew this was the right decision for me.

I went from 110% against the idea to eagerly ready to do it.

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 and couldn't be happier with my surgery, my recovery, and my progress so far. I am healthier and happier than I have been in a very long time.

I started at almost 600 pounds, practically immobile, and on disability.

I am over halfway to goal, getting my life back, and getting ready to return to the workforce. I swim regularly and am no longer effectively housebound.

Best of luck with your decision. The good thing is that you don't have to make any major decisions today. But, I encourage you to take the next step and at least attend a seminar with an open mind.

I encourage you to find a good Bariatric Center of Excellence.

They should have a good process so that you will be fully informed and educated and have the support and tools to be successful no matter what you decide.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[aquarius1234 39]

I had my PCP and my OBGYN recommend it to me a couple years ago. I thought they must be crazy- I am young and I can do this on my own. Fast forward to now- I am ready to do it! Hoping to have surgery in Feb 2016. Excited about being healthy again! My BMI is 40 and I have high blood pressure and am .1 away from being Pre-diabetic. But you have to make the decision for you. I wasn't ready back then and now I am. Good luck!

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[ginganinja14 4]

My biggest concern is will I stick to the diet or will I gall back into old habits? The program she is recommending has you see a psychiatrist and dietician for 6 months prior to surgery (which sounds pretty common from what I've seen), but I'm not sure if it's a waste of time to start the process or not. I love my husband but his view is "do what you think is best", he wouldn't outright tell me his thoughts.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

My biggest concern is will I stick to the diet or will I gall back into old habits? The program she is recommending has you see a psychiatrist and dietician for 6 months prior to surgery (which sounds pretty common from what I've seen), but I'm not sure if it's a waste of time to start the process or not. I love my husband but his view is "do what you think is best", he wouldn't outright tell me his thoughts.

I don't think it is a waste of time at all. Six months will pass whether you start the process or not.

Even if you decide surgery isn't for you seeing a therapist and NUT will be educational and may give you some tools, information, and insight that you may find helpful.

You may also want to read books related to WLS, food addiction, etc. I highly recommend anything by Geneen Roth as well as a book called Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

. So I'm debating whether I want this or not.....I'm not sure if I can do what I need to do to get to surgery.

Ambivalence can be paralyzing or, probably more accurately, is a device some of us use to stay put. The alternative certainly seems making a decision, but there's another route that worked for me.

I can't even recall how or why the idea of surgery first occurred, but I was no where near ready to say "Yes, this is for me." In order to begin exploring the possibility I chose to play any head game necessary to take any step at all. All along the way it was "Just do [this] to see what it's like and then you don't have to do anything else." The first move was to attend an info seminar: "Go see what they have to say, what it's like, and then you won't have to do any thing else." Okay, that wasn't so bad. Next was an initial appointment with the bariatric practice -- same thing, "Go to the appointment, see what it's like and then you won't have to..." Each subsequent step followed in the same pattern. Finally, when I made appointments for endoscopy and [gulp] colonoscopy (both required probably because of my age, but I don't remember for sure), I knew I meant it: No one consents to endoscopy or colonoscopy just to see what they're like.

My whole deal was walking backward toward the OR. When I actually walked in, the entire crew was robed, gloved and masked. Each person turned toward me with a rousing greeting, making me feel as though I'd arrived at a surprise masquerade party in my honor.

My best suggestion to you is just attend the initial info seminar and ask questions. Going to the practice's support group can also be helpful -- hearing others' experiences with the ease of face-to-face communication helps, especially since more questions will occur to you as time goes by. (Certainly bring your questions and concerns here, too.)

My other best suggestion is to begin a running, handwritten list of reasons (a nice notebook) beyond the healh concerns you mentioned. Add to the list as new things occur to you. Keep each reason narrow in scope, e.g., "So that my favorite gold chain hangs lower instead of fitting like a choker" instead of "So that necklaces look better on me." Another might be "To wear size 6 knickers" instead of "To wear smaller sizes." No reason is shallow, silly or vain. Certainly include the health considerations and any/everything else that has significance to you. Each reason/goal should be what you want for yourself for a lifetime. (There are those who'll squawk at me, but I think that reasons such as special occasions, e.g., weddings, are solid for the long term. They have expiration dates; the wedding lasts a day and then what?) Then, as you lose weight and achieve the goals, you can check them off in your notebook.

When you have clearer clarity (?!) on what you really want and why, you'll know that you can do anything. Even better, you'll have confidence to make the choice.

Edited October 16, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

My biggest concern is will I stick to the diet or will I gall back into old habits? The program she is recommending has you see a psychiatrist and dietician for 6 months prior to surgery (which sounds pretty common from what I've seen), but I'm not sure if it's a waste of time to start the process or not. I love my husband but his view is "do what you think is best", he wouldn't outright tell me his thoughts.

"Will I or won't I?" Let me repeat that, when you know in your bones what you want, when you'll stand on your roof and shout it to your neighborhood, you'll have your answer. This isn't to say that it's always smooth sailing. As a human being, you'll find some days more challenging than other. That's okay.

Each surgical practice and each medical plan has its own requirements. A psychologist (psychiatry isn't necessary) isn't a bad idea at all.

Your husband sounds perfect. He can't make the choice for you; he respects that it's your body, your life, your choice. His comment implies that, whatever you decide, you'll have his support. Yes?

[newjerseygirl60 45]

You took the words right out of my mouth no more needs to be said, it don't hurt to go to the support group and get well informed arm yourself with information!

[HanSolo1977 261]

@@ginganinja14 - I was very much like you at the beginning.

When I weighed around 340, I was working out and my doc was happy with how I was managing my diabetes. I made an off-handed comment to him that "I wish I could just get the weight off." His response was "Have you considered WLS? You'd be a good candidate."

It took me over 6 months to make the decision to even go to the informational meeting (during which time I gained 20lbs). I had several thoughts like yours. 'Could I actually do it? Could I keep it up?'

Once I went to the informational meeting and joined BP, it really began to sink in that the benefits outweighed everything else. @@WLSResources/ClothingExch makes a sage piece of advice. I did the same thing, writing down all the positives and all the things I wanted to accomplish.

I'm almost two months out and I'm glad I did it. I've lost 106 lbs since starting to work with the NUT and getting the bypass.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@HanSolo1977, congratulations on the 106. Isn't it exciting? But, c'mon, fella, my sagacity goes beyond the suggestion to keep a running list of reasons and goals.

@@ginganinja14, I hope you're getting a quieter feeling in your gut so that the obstacles to deciding evaporate.

[HanSolo1977 261]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch It is great. I tried to pick up the 100# dumbell at the gym the other day and couldn't. It's amazing that I was able to carry all that weight around.

And I know your sagacity goes beyond making pros/cons lists

[ginganinja14 4]

I did speak to the nurse in my PCP office and asked that they start the referral process... been a week and haven't heard anything yet. Not 100% sure on the surgery yet, but I definitely want the nutritionist and such...

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[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@ginganinja14 -- Sounds good. Proceed at the pace that comfortable for you.

@@HanSolo1977 -- Good fellow.