One final fat humiliation *I hope*

[lizster2007 0]

Hey Wasabb, just wanted to say that your reply to the OP is most insightful and wise!

Hi Rabid, I too can relate to the issue you are going through. I know how upsetting it is but as many others have said, you'll soon show them! I have found as I get older (am 47 now), it becomes easier to accept things as 'it is what it is' -- something that might have bothered me greatly when I was younger may not even register on my emotional radar screen now. I can, however, still remember the pain those types of things did cause then. All the best with your band!

[nkcaump 0]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's amazing how much it helps to know that there are other people out there who have went through this same sort of thing.

I would go to HR, but I'm the kind of person who would be too embarressed to even bring it to someone elses attention. I just want it all to go away, and I really don't want to make these people think they have gotten to me in anyway. Besides, before they know it, they'll be eating those words

I've always been on the fence about people who run to HR with their problems. I think it waters down those who have legitimate discrimination issues. However, I think you definately need to talk to someone at that company. Or at least start a documentation file on times you've felt discriminated against. To some, the selection of a shirt is the same and picking paper or plastic, but to us, it can be a life-altering event. You said it yourself that you'd consider LEAVING the company because of a shirt. That's discrimination by anyone's book.

Regardless of where you work, I would think the owners wouldn't want qualified people who do their job every day leaving because of the actions of others (who are probably morons, at least that's my experience.)

My wife came home all the time telling me about so and so who is getting picked on for this or that. Then, finally, they got around to her. Her decision was to quit, which actually was for a lot of other good reasons, but it's just sad that morons win with this stuff. HR CAN do things to help.

Even if you do end up quitting in a few months, at least you might take a couple of morons down with you!! If people focused on their jobs and not on jerking around other people, we wouldn't have the problems we have!!!

..just my $.02

[Darragha 0]

Those skinny chicks (and bless them for their undoubtedly well-meaning innocence) will eat your dust in a year.

{{{rubbing hands together manically}}}

Darr

[rabid24 0]

I almost didn't post this little dilema here, but now I'm SO glad I did. You guys have had some great advice and words of wisdom!

Wasa- I like the thought that this could be a blessing in disguise. I've always envied the girls who have always been thin, but I guess that does really limit what they can empathize with and truly understand. It's these sort of things that make us who we are, and honestly, I like myself the way I am (other than the weight part).

Knowing that I'll get the band in a few weeks is really the only thing that keeps me at that job. It would just make me sick if I finally get real thin and I can't rub it in their faces:) Just kidding! (kinda) It's like having a secret weapon up my sleeve. I know when they start acting like this that before long, they won't have my weight to talk about anymore. Then what will they do for fun?

[JulieNYC 4]

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you or better yet, a solid answer but I don't.

I will tell you one thing. May not mean anything today but it will later.

The times you are dealing with today, the embarrassment and the humiliation.. it will pay off in the future. You will form a kind of compassion that those around you just won't get. You will understand things and people in ways others never will.

It's like this, when I was growing up both my parents were alcoholics. I knew at a young age I didn't understand what they were going through and I hoped I never did because some things you just have to experience before you can relate. I never wanted to relate to their issues because I never wanted to experience it.

Well, today I have experienced being humiliatingly fat. I know the difference in how I am treated fat vs. not as fat. I know how many doors are opened for me in life today vs. yesterday. Most of all, I know how others feel when they are experiencing something like this. I think it is (in part) a wisdom thing. I have something now I didn't have ages ago.

I may well never be able to explain the string theory or whatever the heck it is called to little children when I am old and gray but I damn sure can teach compassion and teach others to step in the shoes of someone else. I have a kind of wisdom I would have NEVER had if it weren't for my experiences being fat. I have something that others will never have.

If I had to do it over again I would. I know, that sounds crazy. But I am a stronger person and best yet, I am a more wise person because of what I experienced. You can have it while you are a big person, but you have more when you jump the hurdle and lose the weight. It's one of those things that you will experience.

I guess my point here is that these horrible times and embarrassing times will indeed pay off someday in the not so far future.

This is the most beautiful and poignant post I've ever read. Thank you, Wasa, for those thoughts, and thank you Rabid, for eliciting them. Wow.

[rabid24 0]

This is the most beautiful and poignant post I've ever read. Thank you, Wasa, for those thoughts, and thank you Rabid, for eliciting them. Wow.

I agree! It gives it all meaning, doesn't it?

[Daisalana 33]

Wasa- That was a great post and point. I'm not on the other side of the fence yet to look back on my 'fat days'.. but it's true about compassion for the overweight.

[Liz1531 3]

I always hate when companies I work for hand out shits and I'd have to ask for an XL. So embarresing when you work with skinny minnies! Give yourself a year from being banded and then the only talk about you will be how great you look!

[Cerrin 3]

Hell just remember Your weight can change their IGNORANCE will not.

[Susie313 0]

When I get on this website the first thing I do is a search on postings by Wasabubblebutt. I learned a long time ago that inside of Bubble lives a wise and beautiful person. We are lucky to have her posts.

[Susie313 0]

<p><p><p>Oh and one more thing--Lizi531--I would hate it too if the company I worked for handed out shits. Especially if I had ordered XL or larger ! Hang in there!</p></p></p>

I know we all make typos--I make my share. I just couldn't let this one go.

[Cerrin 3]

The company I work for has slowed down on the SHIRTS but the best things are the duffle bags! I prefer them and they get used. anyway I also have to agree with reading Wasabubblebutt comments she is awsome! and very smart about what she says. love her

[Pattypoo1 0]

Boy this brings back memories. Having been Fatty Patty all my life I can relate this situation back to High School and the skinny guy taking orders for band shirts. Then again we had a guy who the moms had to take 2 band uniforms and put them together to make one for him.

As for now, and the lab coats we must wear, I can actually wear the womens but I don't like the cut. We have 1 lady who orders all that stuff for us, and luckliy she just orders them with no problems. My coworkers always get me a 2X Tee's without even asking, they know. I even have told them, next time you order for me it will be XL! I even have an XL lab coat on a hanger for Dec! I guess I am lucky, because my coworkers don't care, and there are a couple of people fatter then me, so as I show them respect, they show me respect. I don't care what size it is, I know I am smarter than everyone else.

Even in high school I got them back by being smarter. When I went back for one of the reunions, I laughed inside because I was so much more successful then they were. The ones who made fun of me were all non-educated. So it's all relative to me..I don't care what the tag says.

If your shirt is a different color than the skinny girls..just remind them that you are one in a million!

[rabid24 0]

Well, to update my shirt dilema...

The girls shirts all looked pretty much like the guys. HOWEVER, mine didn't "come in" for some reason, so I'm the only one getting to wear my old uniform and I still stand out anyway.

Oh well, I just keep telling myself "it won't be this way for very much longer".

[justbeginning 0]

Hi, I was banded on August 14, 2007 and have gained lots of great information reading here but have never posted. This post, however, struck a chord for me. Threw me right back to junior high school when my biggest worry was whether they would have a gym suit big enough for me. Of course it was an embarrassing ordeal in front of the whole class, sort of like when they weighed me in third grade! Someone went back and told the class I weighed 130 (in third grade). I guess these humiliations start early and keep on going. I don't have any great advice for dealing with these situations, except to say that in the long run, they do make you a more understanding and empathetic person. Deb