One final fat humiliation *I hope*

[rabid24 0]

Hi All!

I'm due to be banded October 4th and I couldn't be happier! I work with a bunch of skinny college girls, so I've always felt pretty out of place. I've also had my weight brought up to me many times by insensitive (male) jerks I work with. I just had my last baby on Christmas Day 2006, and for a long time I guess my co-workers were trying to guess if I was pregnant or just really fat (I guess it was both). Luckily one of them had to come tell me what everyone was talking about.

ANYWAY! I get a call from one of my coworkers yesterday wanting to know what size I wore because they were getting ready to order some polo shirts for us. When I asked what sizes they come in she said "I don't know, they do have men sizes". So I said I guess I would take a 2x, and she says "Ok, I'll order that in mens then".

Ok, now I fear that the mens shirts will look different than the womens and everyone will know they had to order mine in mens sizes (and we have to wear them everyday). I told my husband if it was that humiliating I was just going to quit. I'm WAY over qualified for this job anyway, I just like that it conforms to my schedule. He doesn't think it's that big of a deal though. I know I have no one to blame for being in this position but myself. However, that doesn't stop it from being humiliating! Hopefully I won't have to worry about crap like this much longer!

Thanks for listening:)

[Cerrin 3]

Take it to HR and get them to step in if it is really bothering you. Making comments about someones personal aperiance in a work place is a form of discrimination.

I assume you told them you dont apreciate the comments. Now take it to a higher power. If it dosent get resolved that way. You then have the power to sue on basis of size discrimination.

But if your like me you will just put exlax in their drinks or something mean like that and let it go.

[Margie122 845]

Rabid,

The women's polo shirts usually are a little more fitted (hour-glassy) The man's shouldn't look too different. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If they do make comments, I would take Cerrin's advice and talk to HR if it really bothers you. I find that when someone makes an insensitive remark they are really just trying to get a rise out of you. I try to ignore rude people like that. If it's someone who is really harassing you though, I would go to HR and let them know it isn't ok. If you were in a wheelchair would it be ok for them to make fun of you because you can't walk? These people need to grow up!

Best of luck.

Margie

[Mary-2b150 0]

Margie & Cerrin gave good advice for the work situation - I just wanted to add that I know exactly how you feel! For me it was ordering lab coats for work, even the largest size was really tight on me.. Anyway every time something happens where I'm embarrased about my weight I think "I won't have to deal with this much longer now that i'm banded!" I feel like I have this secret weapon to get back at them with! Anyway boo to them.. If you really feel like you're over-qualified I would certainly suggest trying to find a new job - you have a whole new start on life with the band, why not embrace it! Of course if your work's insurance is paying for it, I might wait a while lol. Anyway goodluck with everything!

[Nettie 1]

I know it can't be easy working with people that can be so insensitive. If it is harrasment I would also advise you to go to HR and complain. However, if it is not harrasment I would say hold your head up high and just know that you are doing something about it! We all need to learn to love ourselves more. I know I do! Good luck with your surgery.

[Daisalana 33]

Women's polos tend to have shorter sleeves too.

I know how you feel, our company does an employee appreciation thing once a year, and being in sales, we're the ones appreciating everyone else, so we have to wear the custom shirt for the year as we serve them bbq.. and someone I barely even know that works in the back comes around to ask me my shirt size, and I always go around and around with him, telling him not to worry about it, I'll find my own shirt, etc.. which looks even worse, like they won't find a shirt to fit me!!! I always get 3 or 4x (mens) just so its big and baggy on me.. and that way if I got a 2x, it wouldn't look tight and then he'd think 'Wow, a 2x doesn't even fit!'

So no one ever knows my real size. I'm a head case, right ?

[Cerrin 3]

Years ago I worked in a Quality lab where we had green long sleeve work shirts and Lab coats.

I bought mine from Sears workers catalog. They had really large sizes and work clothes and uniforms. I make work reimburse me for them it took a long time but they eventualy did.

You might even consider asking for the suplier e-mail or number and calling and asking them if their is a size cut off.

I also worked for a video rental place that had special shirts and they only came in XL I needed atleast 4X. I called the company that supplied the shirts and told them what I needed and they provided me with a 5X with the logo and everything. They said they dont advertise it because too many people try and get the super baggy and hangs down too far.

ANYWAY...you might try going around the office people

[rabid24 0]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's amazing how much it helps to know that there are other people out there who have went through this same sort of thing.

I would go to HR, but I'm the kind of person who would be too embarressed to even bring it to someone elses attention. I just want it all to go away, and I really don't want to make these people think they have gotten to me in anyway. Besides, before they know it, they'll be eating those words

[Dibaby 0]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's amazing how much it helps to know that there are other people out there who have went through this same sort of thing.

I would go to HR, but I'm the kind of person who would be too embarressed to even bring it to someone elses attention. I just want it all to go away, and I really don't want to make these people think they have gotten to me in anyway. Besides, before they know it, they'll be eating those words

Well the band also instills a new found confidence in most people too. So hopefully in the future you won't feel as intimadated to stick up for yourself. Really it's amazing all the band does for you. I don't take any crap anymore from no one..hehe..Hang in there!

[juliegeraci 7]

I agree with Cerrin. You don't need to put up with this. You will start to lose weight quickly and soon you will be in an XL and be able to wear normal sizes. You will be okay.

[pvchickie 0]

Hey there, I am a therapist in a hosp....at the last hosp. i worked at all therapist wore polo shirts ordered by the managers. All the 'girl' shirts were tailored, cute and peach. The 'guy' shirts were big, long and blue. I wore a 3x therefore, had to get a mens shirt. I tell ya I just hated it at first and thought everyone would question me. But, nobody ever did and I finally got used to it and didn't care.

In life we tend to make BIG MOUNTAINS out of molehills...believe me myself included! I am learning to take things with a 'now, who really cares' attitude. This has helped me because i am finding out that I care way more than the people around me do. So, I am in turn trying not to care about the small things.

I am starting to care about my weight and my health though. So this is why I've chosen to have the lapband. I am excited to get this done finally and finally care about the body that God gave me.

I wish y'all the best....GBYalways!

[rabid24 0]

In life we tend to make BIG MOUNTAINS out of molehills...believe me myself included! I am learning to take things with a 'now, who really cares' attitude. This has helped me because i am finding out that I care way more than the people around me do. So, I am in turn trying not to care about the small things.

I know that 90% of the shirt situation is in my head. I tried to make it seem like it didn't bother me at all so they wouldn't think anything about it. It's just that when someone else recognizes that your fat and brings it up to you in a nonchalant manner, it just makes you (me) want to fall through the floor.

What's really funny is that I've spent my life trying to go unnoticed and blend in. On some level it's probably why I let myself gain weight in the first place. Now I hope no one notices that. Ok...I guess I never said I was sane:) However, the guy who came up to me to let me know my coworkers were talking about me was ridiculous. It's like he thought he was being a friend and that if he didn't let me know I was fat I would go about completely unaware. Now THAT'S crazy!

[pvchickie 0]

hey rabid24...I am to be banded on Oct.2...so we will be going through this about the same time! Keep in touch...best wishes and GBYalways!

pvchickie

[Michee 2]

We had these denim shirts last year, they had mens and womens samples to try on, I didnt get one cos they were optional and I HATE denim shirts. Anyway, quite a few of the women (even real thin) ordered the mens cos they liked them better, they didnt like how the darts on the ladies shirts made there hips stick out. The darts were a problem for the flat chested women, as there was "air pockets" with no boobage inside. I am sure lots of people have issues with the shirts, from too fat to too skinny or too short, and shirt looks like a dress or too tall and shirt shows part of your belly, or the colour they picked clashes with your hair or skin tone. I bet lots of people HATE the DAMN shirts. YOU are NOT alone.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Hi All!

I'm due to be banded October 4th and I couldn't be happier! I work with a bunch of skinny college girls, so I've always felt pretty out of place. I've also had my weight brought up to me many times by insensitive (male) jerks I work with. I just had my last baby on Christmas Day 2006, and for a long time I guess my co-workers were trying to guess if I was pregnant or just really fat (I guess it was both). Luckily one of them had to come tell me what everyone was talking about.

ANYWAY! I get a call from one of my coworkers yesterday wanting to know what size I wore because they were getting ready to order some polo shirts for us. When I asked what sizes they come in she said "I don't know, they do have men sizes". So I said I guess I would take a 2x, and she says "Ok, I'll order that in mens then".

Ok, now I fear that the mens shirts will look different than the womens and everyone will know they had to order mine in mens sizes (and we have to wear them everyday). I told my husband if it was that humiliating I was just going to quit. I'm WAY over qualified for this job anyway, I just like that it conforms to my schedule. He doesn't think it's that big of a deal though. I know I have no one to blame for being in this position but myself. However, that doesn't stop it from being humiliating! Hopefully I won't have to worry about crap like this much longer!

Thanks for listening:)

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you or better yet, a solid answer but I don't.

I will tell you one thing. May not mean anything today but it will later.

The times you are dealing with today, the embarrassment and the humiliation.. it will pay off in the future. You will form a kind of compassion that those around you just won't get. You will understand things and people in ways others never will.

It's like this, when I was growing up both my parents were alcoholics. I knew at a young age I didn't understand what they were going through and I hoped I never did because some things you just have to experience before you can relate. I never wanted to relate to their issues because I never wanted to experience it.

Well, today I have experienced being humiliatingly fat. I know the difference in how I am treated fat vs. not as fat. I know how many doors are opened for me in life today vs. yesterday. Most of all, I know how others feel when they are experiencing something like this. I think it is (in part) a wisdom thing. I have something now I didn't have ages ago.

I may well never be able to explain the string theory or whatever the heck it is called to little children when I am old and gray but I damn sure can teach compassion and teach others to step in the shoes of someone else. I have a kind of wisdom I would have NEVER had if it weren't for my experiences being fat. I have something that others will never have.

If I had to do it over again I would. I know, that sounds crazy. But I am a stronger person and best yet, I am a more wise person because of what I experienced. You can have it while you are a big person, but you have more when you jump the hurdle and lose the weight. It's one of those things that you will experience.

I guess my point here is that these horrible times and embarrassing times will indeed pay off someday in the not so far future.