Anal Sex Concern

[Who'sThere 331]

Well thanks for having the guts to ask the question. I'm glad there is a place to ask it, and I think you got some quality responses. Just remind your guy, lots of lube, take your time, or you will only do it once.

BTW, my favorite Bob and Tom Show moment on this subject is here:

Thanks. We do it already on occasion. I just wanted to know if we will get to continue to enjoy it. And yes, he's very gentle with me. He wouldn't want to hurt me for anything.

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[Who'sThere 331]

Well thanks for having the guts to ask the question. I'm glad there is a place to ask it, and I think you got some quality responses. Just remind your guy, lots of lube, take your time, or you will only do it once.

BTW, my favorite Bob and Tom Show moment on this subject is here:

And that call is hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing. Hahaha. So far so good in that department so far.

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[theantichick 2,204]

(RN and comprehensive sex educator hats on)

There is nothing structurally different at any point in the intestines for a sleeved patient. For the lower intestines including the rectum, sigmoid, and descending colon (the parts that could potentially be involved), there is no structural difference for a RNY patient either. I don't know much about duodenal switch, but I wouldn't imagine that they've rearranged anything that far down the intestines.

So structurally, there's nothing changed that would affect the act.

However, there are bowel habit changes that may need to be considered. Many people have Constipation which of course can result in retained stool that you might want to address beforehand due to hygiene or comfort issues. Constipation also has the complication of creating or aggravating hemorrhoids which can cause pain and bleeding with anal intercourse. Other people have varying degrees of diarrhea post surgery, and sometimes with some stool incontinence (hence the warning "never trust a fart"). So this could create a hygiene issue which again you might want to address beforehand.

While I know the topic may be shocking to many, I believe it's important for adults to be able to discuss sexual matters and their bodies without embarrassment. Our societal discomfort with the subject of sex is a holdover from our puritan roots, and I believe it should be reversed.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@theantichickh yep. Well said I try to be open but I still get embarrassed occasionally. The old APE (American Puritan Ethic) rears its ugly head in my thoughts and I'll turn beat red

[Who'sThere 331]

(RN and comprehensive sex educator hats on)

There is nothing structurally different at any point in the intestines for a sleeved patient. For the lower intestines including the rectum, sigmoid, and descending colon (the parts that could potentially be involved), there is no structural difference for a RNY patient either. I don't know much about duodenal switch, but I wouldn't imagine that they've rearranged anything that far down the intestines.

So structurally, there's nothing changed that would affect the act.

However, there are bowel habit changes that may need to be considered. Many people have Constipation which of course can result in retained stool that you might want to address beforehand due to hygiene or comfort issues. Constipation also has the complication of creating or aggravating hemorrhoids which can cause pain and bleeding with anal intercourse. Other people have varying degrees of diarrhea post surgery, and sometimes with some stool incontinence (hence the warning "never trust a fart"). So this could create a hygiene issue which again you might want to address beforehand.

While I know the topic may be shocking to many, I believe it's important for adults to be able to discuss sexual matters and their bodies without embarrassment. Our societal discomfort with the subject of sex is a holdover from our puritan roots, and I believe it should be reversed.

Thank you so much for your very comprehensive reply.

I'm worried more about the changes to bowel habits. I've never really had problems with constipation. Honestly, to be blunt, I was concerned that the ejaculated might cause diarrhea. That would certainly ruin the mood.

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[theantichick 2,204]

@theantichickh yep. Well said I try to be open but I still get embarrassed occasionally. The old APE (American Puritan Ethic) rears its ugly head in my thoughts and I'll turn beat red

I had to get over that when I was training to be certified as a comprehensive sex educator with an amazing program developed by my church (Unitarian Universalist) and the UCC. You have to learn to use any and all slang terms for body parts and answer open questions from the kids without blushing and stammering. And you'd be amazed what 4th grade boys will ask. LOL.

[theantichick 2,204]

Thank you so much for your very comprehensive reply.

I'm worried more about the changes to bowel habits. I've never really had problems with Constipation. Honestly, to be blunt, I was concerned that the ejaculated might cause diarrhea. That would certainly ruin the mood.

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It wouldn't "cause" it per se. Stool consistency is a function of how your system is (or is not) removing Water from the matter that is passing through the intestines. If you have a virus or eat something your system wants to get rid of, more Fluid is left in the matter and the intestines are stimulated to move the matter through faster (to "dump" the system) and results in loose stools or diarrhea. If you have IBS tending to diarrhea then your system moves things through faster than normal and doesn't take much Water out of it in general, and it gets worse with some triggers.

The main thing ejaculate does is places an amount of liquid in the sigmoid/rectal area which will come out like a suppository or enema solution would. It's possible having that Fluid there (but probably more the stimulation from the act) that would encourage the system to move faster and thus result in some looser stools after the fact, but it won't be from the ejaculate itself. And unless you're already having issues with very watery stools and/or incontinence, I wouldn't think that it would cause an immediate problem during the activity.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

LOL....It's going to be probably months before you will want to engage in this behavior. You are going to have periods of diarrhea and Constipation right after the surgery that may pose extremely embarrassing for you if you attempt it too early. Give it time until after you are "normal" agin, BM wise.

[Who'sThere 331]

LOL....It's going to be probably months before you will want to engage in this behavior. You are going to have periods of diarrhea and Constipation right after the surgery that may pose extremely embarrassing for you if you attempt it too early. Give it time until after you are "normal" agin, BM wise.

Well, that doesn't sound pleasant. I hope it's not months tho. Not that anal is at the top of our menu, but I don't want to be inhibited. We are very spontaneous in the bedroom...or out. Lol

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[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@OKCPirate, I clicked the triangle and nothing happened. I've never seen a link in the form of a black band. Did I click the wrong thing? I'm hesitant to click more w/o your input.

[Dub 9,943]

P.S. to my note above.

If you're going to go from rectum to vagina, peel off the condom first.

If you insist on not using condoms, at least never go from rectum to vagina without a good penis wash first.

Such the educator. Thank your for this pro-tip.

[Who'sThere 331]

@@Dub, lol! Love the clip

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[Dub 9,943]

@@Dub, lol! Love the clip

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Sorry. Had to laugh at how you came in with a serious question about how things could impact yer fun time with yer spouse and somebody comes in and schools you on sexual hygiene. Pretty sure you've already developed solid "penis wash" practices.

[Who'sThere 331]

@@Dub, lol! Love the clip

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Sorry. Had to laugh at how you came in with a serious question about how things could impact yer fun time with yer spouse and somebody comes in and schools you on sexual hygiene. Pretty sure you've already developed solid "penis wash" practices.

Ah, I'm okay with it. The snark was the only response that bothered me.

I think she felt I needed some education because I mentioned letting him come in my @ss. That shows that we don't use a condom for the act, and she thinks it's very important.

Maybe she felt if I was uneducated about the need for a condom that I might not know about the need to keep it clean. (I'm not uneducated about the matter; I've read that recommendation, but we are willing to go without. We don't like condoms. We use other means of birth control and are monogamous, so I think we are okay. Condoms take away some of the spontaneity for me.)

Honestly, if someone has strong feelings in regards to my safety, I appreciate the concern. It's all good.

Some girls actually do A to V and A to M regularly. Maybe she thought I was a porn star. (I'm not a porn star; I just play one in the bedroom.)

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@OKCPirate, I clicked the triangle and nothing happened. I've never seen a link in the form of a black band. Did I click the wrong thing? I'm hesitant to click more w/o your input.

Here is a link to the online file, you can download it and insure it's virus free:

https://www.mediafire.com/folder/wt0ib922m75c9/Tammy