No support system

[mollydeez 25]

Hi all...my surgery date (October 17) is quickly approaching, and I sort of feel alone??? I feel like the only people that support me is my family. It's not that my friends don't support me, but they don't ask me about surgery or even really seem to care. Whenever I tell someone new, they just try to talk me out of it. It's so unbelievably frustrating. Idk this is supposed to be an exciting time for me but it's hard when I feel like no one even gives a shit. And even when I try to tell people about it, they lack any understanding. I'm just sort of at a loss here. Idk if I'm asking for help or just ranting. Thanks for letting me vent

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[living55 98]

When I had my surgery I only told my significant other and 2 close friends (who had the surgery), why? Because this was a very personal decision and I needed to get a grasp of it on my own. I did not feel the need to explain my decision or to hear others opinions when their opinion and $2 can get me a cup of coffee. I joined this site and it helped me speak more freely about it. I am almost 2 years out and about 6 months in I told my family and a year in I was more open about it. Now I speak freely but its a work in progress. Others tell right away, and that's ok, again its a personal decision but the support you should really need is from your family and groups like this who know what its like. Everyone else can go fly kites, because everyone will have their own opinions, insecurities and they will push them on you. Push that aside and push through. I do not know your medical condition but let me tell you it will improve, your life will improve and at the end if you follow the Doctors orders you will be amazed at the life change. Then people will be eager to know what you did and how. Until then, focus on you. Love and prayers your way, you will be just fine.

Edited October 12, 2016 by living55

[hudjess 95]

I honestly don't look for anyone to support me. It's my journey not theirs, I know it's probably hard because people do want support. Don't get frustrated because people don't understand you. Live your life and just think of all the new things to come. (: I have only told my mom, dad, fiancé, and one friend and that's it. My fiancé's aunt knows and she tried to talk me out of it and then went on this big long rant, but guess what? I didn't let her steal my joy. Good luck to you.

[heidikat72 935]

they may seem like they don't care and honestly, some of them might not but it is probably more a case of them not knowing what to say. Most of the general public have zero understanding of weight loss surgery and what a major life change it is - not just the surgery itself, but all the mental aspects that go along with it. So don't expect everyone to get it. Remember, they haven't been living in your body so they have no idea what your personal struggles with being overweight are and therefore don't understand how important this is for you. You are getting the surgery FOR YOU, at the end of the day - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You have a support system here and it sounds like your family is supporting you as well. I would suggest now before your surgery, make a list of all the reasons why are you getting the surgery and another list of all the things you are looking forward to being able to do. Whenever you have a down moment or feel alone and unsupported - look at those lists. It's the emotional support you give to yourself that is going to be most important on this journey.

[Pescador 1,374]

I cannot imagine trying to convince anyone to support me in anything, they either will or they won't. Focus on yourself and your weight loss journey. It is a happy ride! Good luck!

[Smdnght28 69]

I completely understand how you feel, to me it's important to have support unfortunately sometimes if the person can't understand what you are going through it's hard to find support from them. I like the Baritastic social group on Facebook everyone either went through WLS or is in the process and they have been the best of support and this group as well.

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[sleeveisa 333]

I understand, do you have a support Group in your doctor's office? I started feeling better hearing everyone's journey. Before and after. I started posting on this blog to read everyone's stories and it has helped me. I haven't had surgery yet but I'm ready and I don't care what other peop k email think. It's my health and my life. Good luck

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[rmg19881015 20]

I am in the very same position, I've told my close family, husband. I feel like no one cares and if I bring it up everything is always got to be negative. I've brought myself to thing this is my journey and I have to stay strong and do what's best for me. It's hard but you'll be ok.

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