Negative Comments Pre-Surgery

[NJ Mom 30]

Hi everyone

Just doing a little venting. I am scheduled for surgery Nov 9, am 49 yrs old, 230 lbs with a BMI of 39. I have high blood pressure and pre-diabetes. I have only told my immediate family and 2 close friends about the surgery. Issue I'm having is people telling me, I think your crazy, you're not big enough for this, are you sure you can't just diet and exercise? This seems too drastic, etc. At this point in my life I realize I need help....or I would have made this happen for myself years ago. All the negative talk makes me second guess myself and make me more nervous, even though I know I am doing the best thing for my health and quality of life. Thanks for listening and would love to hear any advice or experiences you have with this type of thing.

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[KristenLe 5,979]

@@NJ Mom They're scared and concerned for you. They don't understand. It's nearly impossible to do this on your own and maintain that loss. You're at a lower BMI than many but you are still considered obese and with comorbidities you are a perfect candidate for WLS. Just try and and explain that to them. My sister is the only one who kind of said something to the effect of why go to that extreme. She just sees me as fat - she doesn't realize all of the medical problems I have from my morbid obesity. She's also a nervous-nelly and something happening to me during surgery is probably her biggest concern.

[Pescador 1,374]

I am a big mouth and don't keep much from my family. My husband of 25 years is very reserved and tells nothing. We were sleeved together. The one thing he said is I do not want you telling anyone. I told my 46 y/o daughter, he did not tell anyone, even his 30 y/o son. Personally I am so thankful. I did not have to listen to jabber from anyone, and I really dislike talking about myself. Even when we said we were eating healthier and dieting, it seems like all people wanted to talk about was our weight, and it became really tiresome. It made me appreciate keeping my mouth shut! But to each his own, we are sleeved and happy. Best of luck!

[NJ Mom 30]

Thank you Loopylulu I kind of wish I told no one! Besides my husband of course. Kristen yes I am def obese and need this for my health. I think I also hide the weight well...people would be shocked by what I actually weigh

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[susanmm50 21]

I am getting same response from my friends, so I know what you're saying. I just keep reminding myself I'm doing this for me not them

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[anonmom 95]

I'm also 230 pounds, but with my height that puts me at a BMI of 40. I don't have any of the official comorbidities that would allow me to get the surgery with a lower BMI, but I have knee problems, back problems, sciatica, etc. I'm 39 and in my opinion that is too young to feel as tired and slowed down as I do. The heavier I get, the harder it is to lose the weight again, and I've never been able to keep it off after losing it anyway.

I've only told a few people that I'm planning to have WLS. The few comments I've gotten have been pretty respectful, since I've only told people I'm very close with, but it is still tiring to feel like I have to respond to them.

I had planned to be very open with people about the surgery once I had a date set, etc., but now I'm thinking I'm just going to keep it to the people I've already told. And even then, I think I'm going to cut back on the details. My partner and my best friend are really the only ones who need to know exactly when I'm having surgery, because they are the ones who will be helping me out during recovery.

I normally tell my parents everything medical, but my mom in particular would be nervous about me having surgery, and I don't need the extra stress of reassuring her about *my* surgery!

Since you have the date set, I assume you have thought this through and decided this is the best choice for you. So don't let anyone else's opinion get in your way. Good luck!

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[Autumn Fury 67]

I'm in the same boat. I got some of the same comments about WLS being dramatic. I stopped telling anyone about this then. My immediate family knows & no one else.

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[elisa_rose 122]

NJ mom...

I'm am 36 and I am pretty close to getting my sleeve. I have told some family and most of my friends and co-workers..

I always start with I made my decision and I'm happy with it. I respect what they have to say but I know I am saving my life by having this surgery. They just don't understand what we have been through or are going through. Stay strong and keep your head up. You are taking control of a situation that has been very hard for a long time! Good luck and if you know this is right for you don't second guess.

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[sleeveisa 333]

Greetings from Fla, people r telling me the same thing but it's for my health. I'm 55 yrs old and ever since I gained 50 pounds plus from being a wheelchair I've tried everything. I need it for health and no one else. My daughter is supporting me becuase I want to be around to meet my future grand kids. Good luck and you will be fine.

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[Butterflywarrior 241]

Ppl will always judge

. I'm over 300 lbs and ppl have made these kind of comments to me...so go figure

[tenseintexas 182]

I struggled with this myself . My bmi was 34 and I was 212 ... And people kept telling me I wasn't big enough. I also didn't have any problems (except cholesterol) but I knew that I couldn't do it in my own . I wanted to get off the crazy roller coaster of crash dieting and gaining. I needed help. My sister - who I thought would be my biggest critic was actually very supportive. And my last straw was telling my doctor and he was so overjoyed. I knew then that it made sense for my health. And that all my super skinny friends I had told- just didn't understand great luck

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