No support

[lau1875 2]

Hi everyone, hope y'al are doing well. I am 14 days post opp, and I found out 2day I am very dehydrated. I'm very dizzy, sluggis, achy, n everything. But my real problem is I have no support. My sister thinks because I am out of work, I am her personal slave. Since Ive been out of the hospital Ive gone grocery shopping for ger twice, and had to prepare dinner for her kids beacause she had the "flu". I tell people I cant do much and they tell me Im over reacting I didnt have major surgery, it was a minor procedure because it was laparoscopic, and I need to stop being lazy and get up and move.

Even when I try eating something, my mother and sister make comments to me about why am I think about is food and eating. I just started on mushy food and I only had a half a meatball. Then abiut 5 hrs later I had a piece of cheese. They said I should never had went for the surgery because I feel hungry at times. The said I focus to much on food and I'm gonna be fat for the rest of my life. I dont understand Did I eat to much? Then my boyfriend of 11 yrs just broke up with me for reasons I don't even know. i'm really counting on him for his support. he won't even talk to me. I just feel so alone and I feel like I'm not going to succeed. I'm only down 8lbs since my surgery date. Am i failing already this soon? Did I make a mistake foing thru with the surgery? Thanks for listening.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[nmf0318 58]

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through! But please remember you did just have surgery and you need to take care of yourself! You're only a few days post-op and things can still go wrong with your recovery. You did not eat too much, and you shouldn't be listening to their negative comments. With this surgery and accompanying lifestyle choices, you will be more focused on food. This is only natural. I'm sorry you lost your boyfriend, but if he's not going to give you the time of day to let you know why he's decided to go a seperate way and willing to leave you at such a major life changing time for you, you don't want him in your life. You're not failing, 8 lbs is great for 2 weeks post-op! Don't judge your loss against others', every body is different! Best of luck to you! Keep your head up!

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

[ppressey24 254]

@@lau1875, girl, get that little boy out of your head. Hes not worth your time if he cant even have a conversation with you about why he left you at the most important time in your life. And as far as your sister, she sounds really bad to me. Has she always treated you like this? And your mother takes her side? You have to put yourself first. You had the surgery for yourself and your health. Not for your family. Maybe you need to go to sit down and talk to a therapist. But in the meantime, keep doing what helped you lose those 8lbs. I just had my sleeve surgery today. I feel really great and doing my fast i lost 22lbs. Just think about yourself for a change and not being anyone elses slave.

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

[Ebony Rose 133]

So sorry your going through this. You sound tired which is normal after any surgery! Your sister and mother sound awful, can you tell them no? And not working doesn't mean they can use you! Your needs matter.

I don't think you'll always be fat, you have made the decision to have this surgery, give it time.

If he isn't talking to you, don't contact him. If he can walk away after 11yrs with no reason, don't bother!

Take deep breaths and say kind things to yourself. Xx

You are worth so much more than your family are giving you right now. Good on you for coming in here to vent and get encouragement.

Edited October 6, 2016 by Ebony Rose

[PorkChopExpress 820]

This sucks, but it sounds like you have some poison in your life. Set a goal in your mind to get out of that mess, someday. Not today, or tomorrow, but eventually you need to strike out on your own and get away from these negative influences. Even if they're family. Maybe especially if they're family.

Regarding the boyfriend, this may be the unfortunate byproduct of deciding to get your weight under control. Sometimes people are friends with us, or close to us, for reasons other than us. They include us because we enable them in some way, or we make them feel better about themselves, or whatever it may be...ultimately, it's selfish and unhealthy. So if he left you, rest assured that you are better off without him, because he was probably no good for you to begin with...even if you thought he was. You are going to start thinking of yourself differently as the weight comes off, and I suspect he wouldn't be on board with the changes.

Take this time to focus on yourself, and your goals. Tune out the negativity as best you can. This is a good community of people helping each other get through this difficult transition, lots of support here...and if your surgeon's office puts on a support group, or if there is one you can find locally (there usually are), attend them when they happen. Support groups help a lot.

Your success is not dependent on your family's support or your boyfriend's, it's dependent on YOU. This is all happening within you, and your mind, and your thoughts, and all of that is under your control. You can't control the external stuff, but you can stop letting it have too much of an impact on you. Set your goals and put your focus on them, in spite of what anyone else says. You will get there, and you will get away from those negative influences and created a positive, happy life for yourself. Just stay focused...and DRINK YOUR Water

Kevin

Hi everyone, hope y'al are doing well. I am 14 days post opp, and I found out 2day I am very dehydrated. I'm very dizzy, sluggis, achy, n everything. But my real problem is I have no support. My sister thinks because I am out of work, I am her personal slave. Since Ive been out of the hospital Ive gone grocery shopping for ger twice, and had to prepare dinner for her kids beacause she had the "flu". I tell people I cant do much and they tell me Im over reacting I didnt have major surgery, it was a minor procedure because it was laparoscopic, and I need to stop being lazy and get up and move.
Even when I try eating something, my mother and sister make comments to me about why am I think about is food and eating. I just started on mushy food and I only had a half a meatball. Then abiut 5 hrs later I had a piece of cheese. They said I should never had went for the surgery because I feel hungry at times. The said I focus to much on food and I'm gonna be fat for the rest of my life. I dont understand Did I eat to much? Then my boyfriend of 11 yrs just broke up with me for reasons I don't even know. i'm really counting on him for his support. he won't even talk to me. I just feel so alone and I feel like I'm not going to succeed. I'm only down 8lbs since my surgery date. Am i failing already this soon? Did I make a mistake foing thru with the surgery? Thanks for listening.


Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[JeffVII 1]

Hi everyone, hope y'al are doing well. I am 14 days post opp, and I found out 2day I am very dehydrated. I'm very dizzy, sluggis, achy, n everything. But my real problem is I have no support. My sister thinks because I am out of work, I am her personal slave. Since Ive been out of the hospital Ive gone grocery shopping for ger twice, and had to prepare dinner for her kids beacause she had the "flu". I tell people I cant do much and they tell me Im over reacting I didnt have major surgery, it was a minor procedure because it was laparoscopic, and I need to stop being lazy and get up and move.

Even when I try eating something, my mother and sister make comments to me about why am I think about is food and eating. I just started on mushy food and I only had a half a meatball. Then abiut 5 hrs later I had a piece of cheese. They said I should never had went for the surgery because I feel hungry at times. The said I focus to much on food and I'm gonna be fat for the rest of my life. I dont understand Did I eat to much? Then my boyfriend of 11 yrs just broke up with me for reasons I don't even know. i'm really counting on him for his support. he won't even talk to me. I just feel so alone and I feel like I'm not going to succeed. I'm only down 8lbs since my surgery date. Am i failing already this soon? Did I make a mistake foing thru with the surgery? Thanks for listening.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

The funny part about this surgery is that they don't tell you, for the next years of your life your whole day will revolve around food and when your suppose to eat and keep a schedule, sometimes i feel like i eat more than when i didnt get the surgery cause than id eat once a eat one huge meal now i eat like 6 times a day 3meals/2-3 small inbetween Snacks just to keep my Protein high and my metabolism working.

[tanya0974 24]

@@lau1875, get rid of those negative people from your life. I have support from my mom and stepfather but my sisters just made fun of me so I basically told them to kiss off!

I'm sorry you are going through this. I can tell you one thing, you are going to feel and look great soon and I honestly feel there is some jealousy going on. For your sister to treat you like this is not acceptable and that is where I learned that you need to "take care of you!"

I planning on filing for divorce from my spouse. He had not done anything for me since my surgery and didn't even stay with me before my surgery while I was waiting before going to the OR.

I felt angry. So I told myself that I didn't need him in my life anymore.

Believe me, it's not worth it.

You have support here.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[heidikat72 935]

You've got some seriously toxic people in your life. And honestly if that guy can't support you in this - then he doesn't deserve to be in your life, be glad he's gone. As for your family, sounds like you probably live with them which makes it hard. Can you sit them down and ask them what is prompting their negativity? and then share with them some actual information on the surgery - maybe even show them a video of the surgical procedure - there are lots of them posted on youtube. I think people think this surgery is no big deal because we only have a couple of tiny little incisions on the outside but when you see what actually happens on the inside you realize this is a serious surgery. For them to think having the flu is worse than the initial recovery phase of this surgery is mind boggling! You are off work right now for a reason - you need time to heal after surgery! and yes, for a while your mind will revolve around food - because you have specific Protein and Fluid goals to meet and Vitamins to fit in and it all has to be separated out on specific schedules. Sit down and go through this with them.

Ultimately tell them you aren't seeking their approval but that you will NOT tolerate the negativity they are displaying toward you taking control of your health. You gotta take care of YOU and frankly, they can take care of themselves and your sister's kids - you are NOT their personal slave.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@lau1875 Stand up for yourself! Stop being a doormat. I'm sorry to sound harsh but you just had MAJOR surgery and complications can still happen - serious LIFE threatening complications! Take care of yourself! Why are you grocery shopping for your sister? Just say NO! Don't cook for her children - major surgery trumps the "flu"! Do you have a friend you can stay with that isn't a self centered jerk - even if it's just for a few weeks?

[shanley 2]

Just tell them no. They won't die. They will find a way. If they get mad oh well. U did this procedure for u. Ur out of work to recover. Close ur door turn off ur phone. Just don't answer them.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[negrita 18]

Hi everyone, hope y'al are doing well. I am 14 days post opp, and I found out 2day I am very dehydrated. I'm very dizzy, sluggis, achy, n everything. But my real problem is I have no support. My sister thinks because I am out of work, I am her personal slave. Since Ive been out of the hospital Ive gone grocery shopping for ger twice, and had to prepare dinner for her kids beacause she had the "flu". I tell people I cant do much and they tell me Im over reacting I didnt have major surgery, it was a minor procedure because it was laparoscopic, and I need to stop being lazy and get up and move.

Even when I try eating something, my mother and sister make comments to me about why am I think about is food and eating. I just started on mushy food and I only had a half a meatball. Then abiut 5 hrs later I had a piece of cheese. They said I should never had went for the surgery because I feel hungry at times. The said I focus to much on food and I'm gonna be fat for the rest of my life. I dont understand Did I eat to much? Then my boyfriend of 11 yrs just broke up with me for reasons I don't even know. i'm really counting on him for his support. he won't even talk to me. I just feel so alone and I feel like I'm not going to succeed. I'm only down 8lbs since my surgery date. Am i failing already this soon? Did I make a mistake foing thru with the surgery? Thanks for listening.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

All I can tell you is try to remember you did this for you so don't pay attention to what other people say people tend to be miserable n they make everybody else around thems as well. Everybody's body is different as long As you doing What the dr tells you, you should be ok. As far as your boyfriend don't sweat it, he don't know he just opened the door for you. Once you learn to be on your own care for yourself because nobody else is going to do it once you are the person you want to be you will find the man that's going to be with you unconditionally but you need to take care of you first.

I'm 4 the New me! !

[Minimel 45]

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App