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Eating to cope with loss/ fill void



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I had my orientation day at the weight loss center yesterday. Tentative surgery is November 7th ????

After some time talking with their behaviorist and going over notes from my psychological evaluation, she feels that I use food to fill a void from losing my dad to cancer when I was 5. I have been overweight since I was 5 and my dad is still a topic that is still hard for me to discuss.

The behaviorist is worried that this link between food and my emotions could continue and sabotage my future weight loss.

I have thought for the longest time about going to a psychologist over the emotions associated with my dad, but I have never really linked that with weight issues as an adult....

Anyone else have similar problems? How did you cope?

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Emotional eating is emotional eating regardless of the underlying factors. You can do well to see a cognitive behavior therapist. You may also want to get a book, THE BECK DIET SOLUTION, Judith Beck, PhD. She's a CBT practitioner and teacher. You want her first book, not the later one with a similar title and which includes a food plan not directed at WLS people. If you do get the book, start at page one and do the exercises as you get to them. There's also a website, shrinkyourself.com, the child of another psychologist, Roger Gould. He, too, has a book (what a surprise), but I know nothing about it.

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I was thin until 14 years old and then got sexually assaulted by a few "friends", within 4 years I put on about 125 lbs. First I dealt with is with anorexia, then I dealt with it with compulsive overeating. Basically the same thing, just switching seats on the Titanic, right? I went to see a talk therapist who helped me tremendously. She also introduced me to Overeater's Anonymous which helped me just as much, emotionally speaking. Something about that bonding and seeing others go through something similar regarding my eating disorder. I still go to OA meetings online off and on when I feel overwhelmed if I need to get my bearings.

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
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      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

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        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

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