Jealous friends?

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

What about when the weight starts coming off, sometimes rather quickly, especially at first? Aren't our entourage going to notice? And if we've been trying everything for awhile they might ask what we are doing this time for it to work that well? Any tips on fending off/replying to these comments?

So far I told my family, close friends, and my boss (coz of medical leave and all), but I'm anticipating others around me to notice the change.

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Even when you are losing weight "fast" people don't usually see it, and they can't really tell how much.

If you are really living an active life and have changed your eating habits, they will attribute it to diet and exercise.

[rdharri 46]

I have 3 friends who had the sleeve and I too was one of the jealous friends. I didn't try to talk them out of it....I did say that I was going to do the same without surgery. It didn't happen and after about 3 months research decided to do it too! Sometimes lack of knowledge is part of the problem.

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[Ruby81 19]

Ok; I get it. Friends who have always been on the weight loss roller coaster with you, tried every fad diet, every new exercise routine, and had moderate success with you at times... they don't really like you taking this new step, do they? Sigh...I guess that means someone you've always counted on to be a cheerleader will instead be judgmental and say stupid things about this being the "easy" way even though there isn't anything easy about it!!

I guess you can't make everyone happy...

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This is why I have not told anyone .

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[laceemouse 631]

I should add, I don't see it so much as my friends are not supportive. And they won't be jealous either. Because honestly out of my 7 or 8 close female friends only one WAS overweight and she has lost it though diet and exercise.

The reason I don't want to tell them is that I will get the "you could do this on your own" comments. Slender people think if we just did what THEY do we would all be slim too. They have no idea how hard it is for someone who is morbidly obese to get the weight off and keep it off. These are people who think they are "fat" when they "need to lose 10 pounds". And they buckle down and do it so they think I should be able to do the same.

Out of my extended group of "friends" (hundreds of people from church and other activities our family has participated in over the years) there are several who probably need to lose 50 or 60 pounds, nowhere near as heavy as I am. I do have one friend in this group who lost a tremendous amount of weight a couple of years ago. According to another friend this woman did have WLS but doesn't want everyone to know. Honestly, this is one reason I may spill the Beans after I start losing weight. I hate that it has to be seen as something shameful

[bwyjunky79 31]

I think my BFF is afraid of what will happen after. My sister thinks she is afraid that men might pay me more mind because I will be healthy AND I have a great personality (her words not mine). This could all be true. It's just a shame that it comes to this. I will definitely be telling people I had WLS. I have no reason to feel ashamed. I only told a select few BEFORE surgery because I didn't want to hear people try and talk me out of it or tell me I could do it on my own.

"I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable, I am an original"

--'Wait for It', Hamilton the Musical

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[hats123 67]

I will definitely be telling people I had WLS. I have no reason to feel ashamed. I only told a select few BEFORE surgery because I didn't want to hear people try and talk me out of it or tell me I could do it on my own.

"I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable, I am an original"

--'Wait for It', Hamilton the Musical

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Yes. You can always tell people, but you can't ever untell. I told a very few people before surgery, and since then have told people when it felt right, for whatever reason. I got negative comments from people including the nurse who did my pre-op. But I also got support from people who love me in the pre-op stage, and have been happy to share with people post-op when it has come up and felt like it's been coming from a positive place.

And I am a total Hamilmaniac.

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[bwyjunky79 31]

I will definitely be telling people I had WLS. I have no reason to feel ashamed. I only told a select few BEFORE surgery because I didn't want to hear people try and talk me out of it or tell me I could do it on my own.

"I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable, I am an original"

--'Wait for It', Hamilton the Musical

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Yes. You can always tell people, but you can't ever untell. I told a very few people before surgery, and since then have told people when it felt right, for whatever reason. I got negative comments from people including the nurse who did my pre-op. But I also got support from people who love me in the pre-op stage, and have been happy to share with people post-op when it has come up and felt like it's been coming from a positive place.

And I am a total Hamilmaniac.

I have not seen the show yet as every time they send me an email that more tickets are available, I am never in a position to buy them! Grr. However, I am OBSESSED with the soundtrack as I was with In the Heights. So good. And now I will always know what year the battle of Yorktown took place, haha.

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"I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable, I am an original"

--'Wait for It', Hamilton the Musical

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[QueenOfTheTamazons 634]

Most people i have told have been suportive. My sister too... though that may change as i lose weight. She is the skinnier sister, but i am generally considered more attractive... even fat. There might be some snarkiness if i end up skinny and pretty.

[BrooklynMomma 11]

I didn't tell anyone, nor am I going to. People at work are always gossiping behind everyone's back, never positive or supportive. I'm doing this all on my own.

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[staceface 38]

I think that's what happened with my girlfriend who is always dieting with me; I think she had the immediate fear that I will be skinny and she will still be struggling and no one wants to be "the fat one"...

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[gigiinDC 70]

I'm scheduled for 10/27.

Only told three friends, mom and boyfriend. Told work I was having major surgery.. that's it. My bff had the surgery in 2012 and inspired me to get it. My mom had lap band like 8 years ago and told me to get the sleeve. My two close girlfriends are very supportive.

My boyfriend is the problem. He has tried every diet known to man. A far more body conscience man than I've ever dealt with but then again he's a former athlete and they do a lot of weird things to their bodies through 'discipline ' he just can not understand why I can't do it on my own and not 'take the easy way out'. I'm 5'8.5 and 270 and carry most of my weight in my thighs and lower legs so if I have pants on I look deceptively smaller than I am. He says I can get back to my pre baby weight with just going to the gym more regularly. Doesn't understand I can't lose weight because of my comorbidity... this is really putting a strain on our relationship but I'm going to do the best thing for my health.

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