staceface 38 Posted October 3, 2016 Ok; I get it. Friends who have always been on the weight loss roller coaster with you, tried every fad diet, every new exercise routine, and had moderate success with you at times... they don't really like you taking this new step, do they? Sigh...I guess that means someone you've always counted on to be a cheerleader will instead be judgmental and say stupid things about this being the "easy" way even though there isn't anything easy about it!! I guess you can't make everyone happy... Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Babbs 14,681 Posted October 3, 2016 Very common. The true friends may just be concerned for your safety. Then you can just educate them with the facts. The not so true friends just may be a bit jealous. You'll have to weed out which ones are which and stick with the supportive ones. We need all the support and positive vibes we can get to be successful at this! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ragdollorchid 128 Posted October 3, 2016 Everyone has their opinion. I'm trying to keep my info as private as possible. I don't need negative energy from people's judgements. I only had one friend who tried to talk me out of it. I don't think it was out of jealousy. I just think she wasn't ready for such a drastic step as surgery. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OutsideMatchInside 10,166 Posted October 3, 2016 This is why I think it is just best to keep it to yourself about surgery. 4 of my friends know, and they are my real friends. They were only concerned about my recovery since I live alone in an area where I do not know anyone. They were all really supportive, but they aren't my fat friends. I didn't tell any of my fat friends. And since I am doing things they aren't willing to do, they don't have as much of an attitude about my weight loss as I thought they would, well there is one exception. I walk 2-5 miles a day, and don't eat any carbs. Most people are not willing to do that, so they are like whatever, enough your painful weight loss (it is easy mode to me). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icantbelieveit 955 Posted October 3, 2016 I dont tell anyone. Not worth the second thought of being treated differently. Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jo_82 2 Posted October 3, 2016 What about when the weight starts coming off, sometimes rather quickly, especially at first? Aren't our entourage going to notice? And if we've been trying everything for awhile they might ask what we are doing this time for it to work that well? Any tips on fending off/replying to these comments? So far I told my family, close friends, and my boss (coz of medical leave and all), but I'm anticipating others around me to notice the change. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Babbs 14,681 Posted October 3, 2016 What about when the weight starts coming off, sometimes rather quickly, especially at first? Aren't our entourage going to notice? And if we've been trying everything for awhile they might ask what we are doing this time for it to work that well? Any tips on fending off/replying to these comments? So far I told my family, close friends, and my boss (coz of medical leave and all), but I'm anticipating others around me to notice the change. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Just tell them you're doing low carb and high Protein and exercising more. Which would be true, right? Here's a little misnomer about WLS that people seem to not understand. Sure the weught loss is quick at first, especially the first few weeks. But honestly after that we lose weight at a more average rate that a typical dieter would. So honestly the weight loss shouldn't raise anymore eyebrows than if you were actually dieting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bwyjunky79 31 Posted October 3, 2016 I am dealing with this right now actually. My BFF was very much against me getting the surgery stating that she was "concerned". That she knows people who had blah blah blah. When in fact she does not know anyone personally who has had the sleeve. As a nurse, she jumped to conclusions instead of researching the procedure. So once she was reassured (not that I give a crap because it's my body and I am doing it whether she approves or not), she started saying things to me like "well you'll have extra skin and then how will you feel?" Well bitch I will fantastic because I will be able to tie my shoes without sitting on the bed and go on roller coasters without having to try the seat first. She has also starting saying that she will now be the fat friend. Which means she always thought of me as the fat friend. I have a feeling this next year is going to be very challenging for her. She is 5'7", apparently 185 and wants to be 165. I think she is jealous that I am able to get this tool and I think deep down she DOES think it is the easy way out even though she won't say it. It has been tough because she is negative so much of the time, I can usually just brush it off, but I don't know for how much longer I can do that. You are either on board or not! Thankfully the family and friends I have told are excited for me and want me to succeed. One friend keeps telling me it is going Tom hangs my life and I love her for that! *side note...thanks for posting this. I have been needing to vent about this and kind of felt like I didn't have anyone to talk to* Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Christinamo7 4,042 Posted October 3, 2016 my sister was much nicer and more supportive than that, @@bwyjunky79 but a similar issue as she was not happy to think she would not be the smallest sister. so, she has focused on eating better, and hey, really I am all for it because I want us to all be as healthy as we can be. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ragdollorchid 128 Posted October 3, 2016 What about when the weight starts coming off, sometimes rather quickly, especially at first? Aren't our entourage going to notice? And if we've been trying everything for awhile they might ask what we are doing this time for it to work that well? Any tips on fending off/replying to these comments? So far I told my family, close friends, and my boss (coz of medical leave and all), but I'm anticipating others around me to notice the change. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Just because they are asking doesn't mean you have to answer. As a matter of fact keeping your business will lead to them shrugging their shoulders and moving on to something else. If you do start talking...it's an open topic. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bwyjunky79 31 Posted October 3, 2016 my sister was much nicer and more supportive than that, @@bwyjunky79 but a similar issue as she was not happy to think she would not be the smallest sister. so, she has focused on eating better, and hey, really I am all for it because I want us to all be as healthy as we can be. Thankfully, my household seems to feel like my weight loss will spark their weight loss. My sister is also overweight and she has no desire for surgery. She is excited for me to share meals with her, lol! All in all those I have told are excited for me and want me to succeed at living a healthier more fulfilled life. Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Babbs 14,681 Posted October 3, 2016 my sister was much nicer and more supportive than that, @@bwyjunky79 but a similar issue as she was not happy to think she would not be the smallest sister. so, she has focused on eating better, and hey, really I am all for it because I want us to all be as healthy as we can be. Same. My sister was super awesome about me having it done. She actually said I inspired her to do something about her weight (and I'm sure not wanting to be the fattest sister, lol) And oh boy did she, lol. She went to Weight Watchers and became a total fitness fanatic and now weighs less than I do, lol. But oh well. I'm glad I inspired her to be the healthiest she's ever been in her life, because I am, too! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
laceemouse 631 Posted October 3, 2016 What about when the weight starts coming off, sometimes rather quickly, especially at first? Aren't our entourage going to notice? And if we've been trying everything for awhile they might ask what we are doing this time for it to work that well? Any tips on fending off/replying to these comments? So far I told my family, close friends, and my boss (coz of medical leave and all), but I'm anticipating others around me to notice the change. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App At first we lose quickly, but let's face it unless you are really low BMI no one is going to notice when you lose 30 or so pounds. After that they will start to notice but by then we will be losing much more slowly like a regular diet. I have a friend who has lost over 200 pounds with diet and exercise. No one noticed until she had lost close to 100 pounds. Then people started saying she lost it overnight. Not really, she had been working on it for like a year. They just didn't notice until you could REALLY see it. I plan to not tell anyone outside of my husband and kids until people start noticing and asking. After that I may tell some people, especially those who could benefit themselves. I have mixed feelings because I wish there wasn't such a stigma attached to WLS. Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CamNZ 23 Posted October 3, 2016 I've told all of my friends. I'm lucky that no one in my circle is negative about it. I think if they were real friends to begin with they would support you through anything. Shed the weight and shed the people trying to keep you down. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clarevoyant 347 Posted October 3, 2016 I've told all of my friends. I'm lucky that no one in my circle is negative about it. I think if they were real friends to begin with they would support you through anything. Shed the weight and shed the people trying to keep you down. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Same here. I am so fortunate my friends and family have been so supportive! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites