Angry at Unsupportive SO! Get a backbone women and men!

[hats123 67]

Yes! I had a brief and awful marriage to a man who, when I had health problems, literally said, "I'm not doing this." We divorced after a year, and I spent my 30s mostly on my own, with brief relationships here and there but nothing particularly significant (well, one of them led to my son, so that one was significant in its way!). I happen to have a very decent and supportive boyfriend of 2 years now, but I see that as incidental and not "the goal" or the key to happiness, or the forever happy ending. Chances are, it's not going to be the end of the story for me...just based on my history and temperament.

As a previous poster said, being in a couple while being truly alone, or worse, being oppressed or abused on any level (this is not the same thing as compromise in a relationship, which of course is important when it's mutual and grounded in respect) is no prize in the lifelong question of "single or coupled?" Not even close.

Edited just to add: in an abusive relationship of any kind, physical, emotional, verbal, the decision and ability to leave can mean a lot more than "getting a backbone." It's often a matter of getting the resources (often emotional) to reject gaslighting that may have gone on for years. And in many cases the abused/disempowered party literally doesn't have the resources (money, a ride) to leave. So as important as it is to remind people that they don't have to put up with unsupportive partners, it's also important to remember how common it is for people to be stripped of their power, or taught to believe that they have no power, and to be supportive of them as they come to new understandings about their options.

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Edited October 4, 2016 by hats123

[rolosmom7 740]

I am so proud of all you ladies! We are STRONG and FIERCE women. [emoji122] [emoji122] [emoji173] [emoji173]

Edited October 4, 2016 by rolosmom7

[gustavio 439]

So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you.

I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died.

Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.

I don't know why people stay with such degrading and unsupportive men. Idk if their confidence is in the dirt or what. But if your SO loves you, truly loves you, they will support you for trying to get healthy and happy! It infuriates me to see how some men treat women. I have to brag on mine, he packed on a few lbs in our 16 years of bliss so he went on the diet with me. He didn't get sleeved but had cheered me on and kept me motivated from day one! He has lost 20 lbs himself. That's all he needed to lose so he is done but will not stop rooting me on from the sideline. I think maybe these men have self esteem in the dirt and think that when their ladies get that sexy bod back, that other men are gonna be picking up on them. Idk. But it's so ignorant.

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Edited October 4, 2016 by gustavio

[hats123 67]

OK, stupid question here, but since it's a thread running through this thread I have to ask:

where is this follow-up show about My 600 Pound Life-ers? I am embarrassed to say I searched TLC, and their website, and my cable guide, and couldn't find it! Sorry to hijack from this important topic but...help! Thanks,

(Or follow-up info, if it's not a show)

(I'm old and not so good sometimes with the tech searching)

Edited October 4, 2016 by hats123

[Pescador 1,374]

Look it up on the Internet and you can see what station it is on, since we all have different cable companies. It is a series following morbidly obese men and women through one year pre op and post op.

[hats123 67]

Thanks....I know the original series on TLC but I keep hearing and reading on this thread about follow-ups with people who were on earlier seasons. I couldn't find those episodes and didn't know if there was a separate show for the episodes that look at the same people a year or more later...

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[reree6898 1,164]

Thanks....I know the original series on TLC but I keep hearing and reading on this thread about follow-ups with people who were on earlier seasons. I couldn't find those episodes and didn't know if there was a separate show for the episodes that look at the same people a year or more later...

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TLC will run the follow up episodes periodically through the year. I got to meet Zayln (that was mentioned in the original post) back in April and she was so sweet. She did move on and has a good boyfriend now that cares about her and her daughter.

[hats123 67]

Ah, thank you!!

[bwyjunky79 31]

OK, stupid question here, but since it's a thread running through this thread I have to ask:

where is this follow-up show about My 600 Pound Life-ers? I am embarrassed to say I searched TLC, and their website, and my cable guide, and couldn't find it! Sorry to hijack from this important topic but...help! Thanks,

(Or follow-up info, if it's not a show)

(I'm old and not so good sometimes with the tech searching)

I found them on TLC On Demand, but that was months ago. If you go to TLC.com they have full episodes and follow up clips on the previous season's subjects. Hope this helps.

"I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable, I am an original"

--'Wait for It', Hamilton the Musical

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[Icantbelieveit 955]

Also most are on youtube

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[bwyjunky79 31]

Also if you have a tablet or smartphone, you can download the TLC Go app. All content is free as long as you have a cable subscription.

"I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable, I am an original"

--'Wait for It', Hamilton the Musical

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[Raynbolite 302]

My husband is a good man. He is also going through Bariatric surgery recovery as I am...we have both had good and bad days. We are both putting up with the other's bad days, but it's not easy all the time. People shouldn't settle, we all deserve the best, but we're human too. Our hormones and emotions are all wacked out. Sometimes things aren't as bad as they seem to be in the moment. My hubby and I try to remember that on bad days.

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[rolosmom7 740]

Oh my God, I found this Zsalynn episode on hulu. What an @$$ !!!!!! Straight through a drive thru on her way home?! Jeez!!!!!!

[emoji35] [emoji35] [emoji35]

Edited October 9, 2016 by rolosmom7

[Icantbelieveit 955]

Besides the jerk of a husband, I didnt like the scene of her coaching her daughter to lie what she eats and drinks to the surgeon. It made me think the daughter will become morbidly obese because of what she is being taught.

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