bellabeans 74 Posted October 1, 2016 Well it finally happened . I have only been back to work for 2 weeks. I am one month post op, and 30 pounds down. I was talking to one of my co-workers , she told me I looked really good and to keep up the good work. Then she continued to say "you know what everyone in the office is saying right?" Then told me that they were talking about you and said they think you had a bypass surgery . I chose not to tell anyone because I just don't feel it's their business . And I was sleeved anyway. I only told who mattered husband kids parents sisters . We work in a hospital so it's a big place . I told her I have been exercising and eating healthy . She didn't seem to care if I did or didn't . I told her I am honored that they were concerned but how come they can talk behind closed doors but not one has said you look good or are you sick nothing or in fact asked why I was out for a month. How do they know I'm not sick or something ? They actually made my day knowing that they have nothing else to do except talk about my weight loss . But here's my problem now I can't stand "the office people" and want to tell them off one by one . I can't help think that someone researched my doctors name off of my letter for my time off, because the 30 lbs is not that noticeable that one would think oh she had surgery . I'm not good at this stuff !! How do I handle it , do I ignore , do I assume they know for a fact and if they do that's a hippa violation if they researched. Or do I have some quick answers ready to give back to them ????? Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444 Posted October 1, 2016 (edited) Why assume anything? There are several possibilities and, unless someone names the one, you'll never know what they may know as fact. If someone does say, "We know you had bariatric surgery," ask how they know such a thing. If the answer reveals research, then make a formal complaint if you wish. Otherwise don't go getting even slightly paranoid. You have more important things to do. If you want to stop the gossip behind your back, tell the next one who comments on your appearance that you hadn't been well. (It's true as far as not feeling so hot in the days right after surgery.) If someone says, "We think you had bypass," tell her that you had coronary bypass. Not true, but they'll feel like creeps for being yentas. Make up any preposterous, ludicrous or otherways farfetched story that entertains you. When asked about my nonstandard appendectomy incision (an 8" vertical cut starting a couple of inches above my belly button and just to its right), I said I'd been camping in the back country of Yellowstone when appendicitis struck. With no way to get back to a more populated area, I drank enough and performed appendectomy myself. If you say anything with a straight face and keep it simple, people will believe you or at least believe that it's possible. Edited October 1, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
erp 2,016 Posted October 2, 2016 At some point they will all start coming up and directly asking, so indeed have what answer you want at the ready. For me, I opted not to disclose but told one person I know who I love dearly but can be a bit of a blabber mouth in the office that I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia (true) and that I was having surgery(true) I just left the gastrectomy part off. The hernia story got around the office but of course with massive weight loss a bunch of people still gossiped about me having a gastric bypass. When I was asked what I was doing to lose weight, I told people what I was comfortable sharing (and that was true) I was working with a registered dietitian, exercising with a personal trainer, attending a weight loss support group, and doing anything and everything possible to lose weight. That answer seemed to satisfy people. I do understand the concept of lying by omission and am definitely guilty of it but I choose not to overtly lie to anyone. Do what feels right for you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lema 236 Posted October 2, 2016 "Hahahaha" then walk away. Don't let their gossip get on your nerves. It's none of anyone's business. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capricorn86 20 Posted October 2, 2016 But what's the big secret really u had surgery to improve ur life and there is no shame in that of course with weight loss and a rapid one at that speculation come with this process be open be honest u did this for u don't hide ur truth Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dub 9,922 Posted October 2, 2016 Tell them if they are writing a book to leave your chapter out of it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Havasumoma 250 Posted October 2, 2016 But what's the big secret really u had surgery to improve ur life and there is no shame in that of course with weight loss and a rapid one at that speculation come with this process be open be honest u did this for u don't hide ur truth Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App I'm not planning to tell anyone about my personal medical decisions. It has nothing to do with shame. It has to do with people thinking they have the right to get up in your business and offer unwelcome judgement and advice. No thanks. Sent from my LGLS992 using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
melbell2222 244 Posted October 2, 2016 Just tell them you had a scare in the family so now your losing weight to better yourself... Also if any of the office people say anything to you then I would get them for a hippa violation. There are other people who need a job and if they want to play stocker they can in the jail house Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
corneygirl 5 Posted October 2, 2016 I've been a lot about this topic and what my comeback will be to people. And here is how I'm going to try to handle it: "I feel great, thanks for noticing" and then ask them a question to quickly change the subject. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rosey posey 176 Posted October 2, 2016 My one episode of yenta-ism,sorry for this, I asked a friend (and 2nd cousin) if she'd had cancer. No she' d been sleeved, found out later from her mom, my 1st cousin. Sorry Tonya I of all people should have known better, it just rolled off my lips. Sent from my S55 using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highfunctioningfatman 2,675 Posted October 2, 2016 I use a variation of this. When I went back to work i just called all of us together because there were various rumors. I first I confirmed my penis reduction surgery and that explains why my pants are already loose. Then I told them that I had an alien baby in my stomach and there will be constant growling. I did slip in wls before mentioning that I was doing the Mexico Water diet to constantly flush EVERYTHING out of my body and that I would be loosing weight one toilet flush at a time. I have fun with it. Just tell them not to believe everything that they hear and give everyone a different bogus story. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lunnah 101 Posted October 2, 2016 Don't let them rent free space in your mind Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rosey posey 176 Posted October 9, 2016 Think you went off the see food diet, now you don't eat everything you see. Have fun with it, life should be joyous. Sent from my S55 using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ebony Rose 133 Posted October 9, 2016 Make up any preposterous, ludicrous or otherways farfetched story that entertains you. When asked about my nonstandard appendectomy incision (an 8" vertical cut starting a couple of inches above my belly button and just to its right), I said I'd been camping in the back country of Yellowstone when appendicitis struck. With no way to get back to a more populated area, I drank enough and performed appendectomy myself. If you say anything with a straight face and keep it simple, people will believe you or at least believe that it's possible. Lol! Great story... hope your recovering well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cklasun 33 Posted October 9, 2016 I'm doing the hiatal hernia story too. I plan to tell people I had complications and have a hard time eating then I will Segway into getting a trainer and stuff. I work in a hospital, it's gossip city. I'm usually open and honest but they'll resent me for taking time off for this so I choose to remain private. To each his own. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Share this post Link to post Share on other sites