My issue or is it his (the hubby)

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

it's the snide remarks because I'm not choosing to eat the crap he's eating that gets me.

Maybe he's feeling that he's lost his eating partner. Or, if he's significantly overweight, he may think you'll reject him along the way. Or any number of other things (I hate to speculate, but it's a trap I fall into sometimes). You don't say whether you've said anything specifically about the snarkiness. If you haven't, take a light-handed, humorous approach.

[kimini 175]

@@Jen.R, I have had much the same issue with my husband. No real advice here, just sympathy. I get that it's our problem, not theirs, but it's HARD!! Our changes in eating habits do affect the nature of our relationships in a much bigger way than I initially thought. Those patterns of behavior - going out to eat together, cooking for your family, etc. - have been altered, and it's hard on everyone in the family! Add to that the hormone dump and emotional highs and lows we go through post surgery, and it's a recipe for disaster. It's tricky navigating this new life, but we'll get throught it!

[Pescador 1,374]

I believe my lifesaver in these situations would be to walk around the block, since I cannot run.

[kimini 175]

I believe my lifesaver in these situations would be to walk around the block, since I cannot run.

This is a great, healthy suggestion... getting out of the house helps to diffuse the situation and remove us from the stress of a partner who is maybe being insensitive, and the walk would give us a chance to get some exercise and work off our frustrations. Love it!

[Pescador 1,374]

Exactly!

[bitingcat 87]

Hmmm. You know, some men really like to solve problems. How would he take you saying, "Hey, I know this diet is crazy and I'm having a hard time coming up with things to do together that aren't food related. I really want to spend time together. Can you help me come up with some new ideas?" It might have worked with my dad, who wasn't a bad guy, just utterly tactless and clueless about dieting. With an extreme aversion to change and being out of control that always brought out his inner a-hole. (7 Vietnam tours and extreme PTSD, so we cut him slack.) Asking for his divine guidance usually helped him deal with the transition and gain some objectivity. Then, he'd work his fanny off to help you.

Of course if your guy blows off a genuine request for his assistance with a problem, then it's probably time for couples counseling.

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