Preteen with growing weight problem

[ReneeKay 9]

chicken Lady" data-cite="Chicken Lady" data-ipsquote-timestamp="1475070042">

I'm here asking ON BEHALF OF HER MOTHER! (She asked me to help, so I consider that *my business*)

I've had WLS and her mother knows I have this group that might have some HELPFUL insight. Her mother is dissatisfied with the pediatrician blowing it off, while her daughter has continued to gain more and more. We live in a small community where the Drs don't push for answers unless you push them.

@ _Kate_ yes, her thyroid was checked about a year ago. Came back normal.

We were thinking PCOS or insulin resistance but originally thought she might be too young. I was hoping to hear from others here to know if anyone here experienced those at such a young age.

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Hey so sorry a few people here are being so rude to you. I happened too be one of those heavy young girls, so nice to know her mother and her friend are trying to help her.

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I haven't read this but the reviews look good and it might be a good resource for your friend.

Healthy Transitions for Girls: ~The Essential Prevention Tool for Girls Ages 8 to 14~ A Strength-Based Curriculum to Promote Positive Body Image for Parents, Mentors, & Professionals https://www.amazon.com/dp/0615727557/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_2mk7xbCF4EYRA

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

"I'm, Like, SO Fat!": Helping Your Teen Make Healthy Choices about Eating and Exercise in a Weight-Obsessed World https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572309806/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Ork7xb72D2AHV

[2ndTry 7]

Her mom should take her to the children's hospital associated with the city they live in. They should have a wellness and nutrition department. Start there. We did that with our daughter who rapidly started gaining at the age of 7 years old. Her pediatrician did nothing. She exercised daily and was on a very healthy diet for years. She was tested with the best specialists in endocrinology in our city. They discovered she had a metabolic disorder, an endocrine Disorder and she started to become pre diabetic. They tested for pcos, cushings and many other disorders. After years of treatment and monitoring, exercise , PT, she was given the Bariatric sleeve by one of the few hospitals in the USA doing the procedures on adolescents. She had it done at age 15. It was a very long process and its a lot harder on a child but we had a great team do it and now she is healthy, happy and all her co morbidities are gone.

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Edited September 29, 2016 by 2ndTry

[WitchySar 244]

I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion here but it's also possible she's just a larger person. Not all fat people are unhealthy. If a person is eating healthy, is active, and the doctor can find no medical reasons that explain the weight gain then it's possibly just her natural body shape. Seriously, just being fat isn't a death sentence.

[Who'sThere 331]

I was thin until puberty. It was then that I started packing on pounds. I was a size 16 captain of the cheerleaders. My mom cooked healthy due to my dad's heart condition, and I worked out every single day. When I stopped eating that healthy and working out when I went to college, the result was a size 24/26 20-something. I was diagnosed with PCOS pretty soon after I got married as I had never been to a gyno before that. Looking back, the signs were all there. 11 is certainly old enough to start the weight gain. It's worth checking out.

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[Takoyaki 36]

I agree that it's not too young for her to check out possible hormonal disorders. I started to gain a little around that age (going through puberty). I was diagnosed with PCOS at 14 when I ended up in the emergency room due to abdominal pain; I had so many issues with cysts that one of my ovaries was removed.

But being young, I never took the time or effort to research what PCOS meant. My weight gain increased in my mid teens when I became a vegetarian and ate primarily processed carbs like breads, rices, and pastas. With insulin resistance this was not smart, but again I was clueless and never followed up with my doctor. 20 plus years later I'm finally getting my health under control. I sincerely regret not learning more about this disorder back then.

It wouldn't hurt to see an endocrinologist in my opinion!

[Alex Brecher 10,512]

@@chicken Lady,

It is kind of you to be concerned and to reach out. 11-year-old girls are very tricky! They gain weight, and most of that weight is fat. I would take a wait-and-see approach, especially if she has healthy habits such as enjoying physical activities and basically eating healthy. If she doesn’t have healthy habits, maybe her mother can encourage a few behavior changes, such as taking carrots instead of Cookies for an afterschool snack, or enrolling her in a dance class.

If you and her mother really suspect that she has endocrine problems, her mother needs to handle it, but carefully. Rather than saying “we’re going to the doctor to find out why you’re gaining so much weight,” she needs to phrase it more as going for a checkup to make sure everything’s good.

Whatever you (and of course, her mother) do, I would be extremely wary about her feelings. If she thinks you or her mother or anyone she respects thinks she’s fat, she might become fat just to cope. Or she might develop an eating disorder.

It is hard watching someone you care about possibly go in the direction of developing weight problems, especially when you know personally how much they can take over your life, but 11-year-old girls are very delicate, and their feelings need to come first at this stage in their development.

[Who'sThere 331]

@@chicken Lady,

It is kind of you to be concerned and to reach out. 11-year-old girls are very tricky! They gain weight, and most of that weight is fat. I would take a wait-and-see approach, especially if she has healthy habits such as enjoying physical activities and basically eating healthy. If she doesn’t have healthy habits, maybe her mother can encourage a few behavior changes, such as taking carrots instead of Cookies for an afterschool snack, or enrolling her in a dance class.

If you and her mother really suspect that she has endocrine problems, her mother needs to handle it, but carefully. Rather than saying “we’re going to the doctor to find out why you’re gaining so much weight,” she needs to phrase it more as going for a checkup to make sure everything’s good.

Whatever you (and of course, her mother) do, I would be extremely wary about her feelings. If she thinks you or her mother or anyone she respects thinks she’s fat, she might become fat just to cope. Or she might develop an eating disorder.

It is hard watching someone you care about possibly go in the direction of developing weight problems, especially when you know personally how much they can take over your life, but 11-year-old girls are very delicate, and their feelings need to come first at this stage in their development.

Very good points!

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[singerbabe 29]

I would most definitely have her check for PCOS. I was tiny until I hit puberty and then my weight problems started. My Mom took me to the doctor out of concern but they just said it was a phase and to watch what they gave me. My Dad is a vegetarian so we never had anything other than chicken and turkey burger in our house and only because my Mom refused to be a vegetarian lol. I was diagnosed with PCOS until I was 28 and my husband and I had started trying for a baby.

[laceemouse 631]

I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion here but it's also possible she's just a larger person. Not all fat people are unhealthy. If a person is eating healthy, is active, and the doctor can find no medical reasons that explain the weight gain then it's possibly just her natural body shape. Seriously, just being fat isn't a death sentence.

First of all, a fat child usually does not become a trim, healthy adult. The odds are stacked against that, especially if she has a medical problem.

Secondly, the idea that a person can be obese and healthy is wrong. Obesity is a leading cause of diabetes, high blood pressure and cancer. Many obese people in their teens, 20's and even 30's don't have any obesity related health problems, but that is almost never the case for obese people in their 40's, 50's and beyond. It catches up with us. There is no such thing as a healthy obese 65 year old.

This isn't just about vanity. We aren't fat shaming and we don't hate ourselves for being obese. Being 100 pounds overweight will take 10 years off my life. When you are young you may not care, but I have 4 young adult children. I want to be here to meet their children and watch them grow up.

My kids, ages 18-25, are all healthy weight. You better believe I would be concerned if any of them were overweight.

As others have said, PCOS is more common than you think. It can lead to infertility and many other health issues. If this were my daughter I would at least want to rule out any possible medical issues. Then after that I would work with a nutritionist to help her.

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[Candygyrl 637]

Kudos to you for being concerned. Obviously you care for your friend therefore you care for her daughter just the same!!! Don't let a few people's insensitivities deter you or infuriate you either. Just actively ignore them-- don't even respond... Anyways your friend may need either a 2nd opinion by a alternative pediatrician, or request a referral to a Pediatric Endocrinologist to be further evaluated. As a health care professional I cannot urge the importance of advocating in you and your loved ones health care. Dr.s are so overwhelmed they hardly have time to truly evaluate you especially if you're not half dead. I have had patients who have had Cancer diagnosis overlooked because their Dr just kept prescribing antibiotics and diagnosing with pneumonia when they in fact had LUNG cancer. Trust your gut. Other areas will have to be looked at such as her diet. Meeting with a dietician to come up with a healthy meal plan for her may be just the start she needs. However endocrine disorders also need to be ruled out. Just because she's vegan does not mean she's not carb overloading. Many vegans have this issue and can easily become overweight. Good Luck to you and your friend and her daughter.

I have PCOS, developed at age 28. They say it can be hereditary but my mom does not have it nor does her sisters. I think either my weight gain during nursing school triggered it or years of yo yo dieting to keep my weight in check. My grandmother could have had it-- she wasn't real big but always looked pregnant to me. She is deceased now. Anyways My daughter was picking up weight and like 25 lbs a year sooooo I was concerned for PCOS. Before taking her to the Dr. I looked closely at her diet and made some changes she has since lost 15 lbs and still going.

[Chicken Lady 102]

Thank you everyone for your helpful advice. I know how fragile young girls can be. I wish someone had been looking out for me when I was young and just starting to gain weight.

We are going to try to get her in to see a specialist.

HW - 283

SW- 238

CW- ?

[WitchySar 244]

I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion here but it's also possible she's just a larger person. Not all fat people are unhealthy. If a person is eating healthy, is active, and the doctor can find no medical reasons that explain the weight gain then it's possibly just her natural body shape. Seriously, just being fat isn't a death sentence.

First of all, a fat child usually does not become a trim, healthy adult. The odds are stacked against that, especially if she has a medical problem.

Secondly, the idea that a person can be obese and healthy is wrong. Obesity is a leading cause of diabetes, high blood pressure and cancer. Many obese people in their teens, 20's and even 30's don't have any obesity related health problems, but that is almost never the case for obese people in their 40's, 50's and beyond. It catches up with us. There is no such thing as a healthy obese 65 year old.

This isn't just about vanity. We aren't fat shaming and we don't hate ourselves for being obese. Being 100 pounds overweight will take 10 years off my life. When you are young you may not care, but I have 4 young adult children. I want to be here to meet their children and watch them grow up.

My kids, ages 18-25, are all healthy weight. You better believe I would be concerned if any of them were overweight.

As others have said, PCOS is more common than you think. It can lead to infertility and many other health issues. If this were my daughter I would at least want to rule out any possible medical issues. Then after that I would work with a nutritionist to help her.

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Whatever. I did say "and the doctor can find no medical reasons" but you can continue with your incorrect opinion. I've read the research, I know the facts and stats and it supports the statement that being fat along with living a healthy lifestyle is no less healthy than being thin and leading a healthy lifestyle. Old thoughts used to be that fat alone was bad, but that's no longer known to be the case. So go ahead, convince yourself you're not fat shaming. I'll be over here being right. Ta! *poofs away because there's no point in trying to shows facts to someone who prefers to shame people*

[Babbs 14,681]

You know what? I'm sick of hearing about being "rude". I was stating an opinion. Apparently an opinion that differs from everyone else is now considered rude?

I'm still not quite understanding why this mother is allowing her friend to help her make medical decisions about her daughter? Is she not capable? And where is this child's father? Why isn't he involved?

I raised my own kids and never had friends asking medical questions about them on my behalf. I guess I think it's kind of strange.

How rude of me!