Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Skin and Sex...



Recommended Posts

So, I am seeing the surgeon tomorrow about a revision to either sleeve or bypass. I think with either I will likely lose a lot of weight, and I'm worried already about the excess skin. I didn't worry before my first surgery because hubs and I didn't have sex very often at all. I figured if I looked ok in clothes, it would all be okay. I didn't plan on being with anyone else. Long story short, hubs and I had sex exactly twice since my lapband in 2009. However, I'm in a different relationship now. I have asked my boyfriend of 2.5 years to give me his serious opinions on how he will feel about the excess skin I will probably have. I even sent him some pics to consider. Our relationship is long distance and we never see each other any less than 6 weeks between visits. So, he will not have the chance to gradually get used to the skin. It will be a big transition between visits. He admits the visual might be tough to get used to, but he says he loves me for me and it will be okay. My question is have any of you had any issues with skin affecting your sex life. Also, do you have any lingerie tips or anything like that for concealing the skin? I've not had a revision, and I'm already worried about feeling sexy in my skin. I'm accustomed to feeling sexy even in my large body. I'm just no so sure about a thin but saggy body.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No issues at all. I tell my husband he needs ironing, but I love every piece of saggy skin and vice versa. If they love us fat they love us saggy! Good luck, be healthy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. Ironing...haha

I told him lingerie might help, and he had just eaten a super big meal. He told me if he didn't stop eating, he might need lingerie. I love his sense of humor. He will like the ironing comment.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've never known a guy to get to "that point" and back away. Then again my buddies aren't superficial and haven't dated super models.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He has an insanely high sex drive. I'm hoping that will help override any possible qualms about skin. Hopefully. That and the fact that we go weeks at a time with only "self-love" and phone sex, so hopefully he will also be so desperate for the real thing that it will be ok. Lol

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you may be overthinking things.

my husband has never had any problem with my body. not when I was thinner, not when I was younger. not when I was pregnant (right up to the morning of being induced) not when I was nursing (milk everywhere with the O) not when I was heavier, not when I got older, not when the weight is coming off and skin is in weird places.

He thinks I'm sexy, funny and beautiful, and I hope your man feels the same about you no matter where you are in your life, or weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He has an insanely high sex drive. I'm hoping that will help override any possible qualms about skin. Hopefully. That and the fact that we go weeks at a time with only "self-love" and phone sex, so hopefully he will also be so desperate for the real thing that it will be ok. Lol

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

We are a very sexually active couple as well. Neither my wife nor I are.concerned.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is so true! I just turned 70 last month. My husband has begged me 25 years, and still, to buy a bikini. Right now he is a couple hours away, and just told me to get naked and relax after I was in the pool. We might get old, but in our minds we remain you and happy in heart!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Loopylulu, we joke all the time about being the couple in the nursing home that gets in trouble for pda. Lol

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he is over 40 and had ever been with a woman who has had kids, he'll be fine. Gravity wins in the end, and most guys realize air brushed models are not reality. On the plus side, the hormone dump might bring out the hyper-sexual in you and he really won't care at that point.

Always remember, fun, confidence and skill are always the best things to wear to bed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, if I get any more hyper sexual, I'd be a nympho. Haha. I could tell you how we met, but only in a PM. Haha. Yes, he's over 40, but I'm not quite there. I will say confidence and fun and never absent in our bedroom situations. Haha. I just want to keep turning him on like I do now.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Poor paramedic, you don't want it??? You don't have the urge at all or issues in your relationship make you not want it with her?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sex? What's sex? Hell been over a year for wife and I. I just don't want it. Plus we have some issues

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Everyone has issues. Maybe the best thing is this surgery, and then renewed health/stamina. If you have children, a long term wife/marriage, I promise it is not perfect for anyone here no matter what they say. Work on you and your family, because that is the most important thing on earth. Best wishes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • rlcpd

      Two months out from hiatal hernia repair.  Surgeon said to expect a lot more flatulence...something about the 'air' no longer being able to 'burp' out so comes out the other end.  That is my experience but have no understanding of why that swallowed air cannot be 'burped'. ???
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        As I understand it since your stomach is smaller and not completely resting against your diaphragm anymore you no longer have the ability to "push" burps out as well. Plus, since its smaller and we don't digest slower the trapped air moves a lot quicker out of the stomach so its no longer available to burp out. Hence the other option for removal.

    • Lizette1122

      Anyone had the TORe procedure? How did it go? How much weight did you loose? 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 3 replies
      1. Brookie2shoes

        Me too girl!! Are you in the full liquid diet right now? It’s sooooo hard!

      2. LadyVeteran1

        Not yet. I was told I only have to do 24 hours of a liquid diet. But I have my pre-op tomorrow so I’m going to confirm if I need to do longer.

      3. buildabetteranna

        Your so close now! It's gonna be great :) Wishing you a speedy recovery and looking forward to seeing how it goes!

    • buildabetteranna

      Down 33 lbs and slightly stalled, but I'm gonna reevaluate and push through. I started back to work last week after 2 years of being disabled due to mental health as well as my weight. It's a great job and I'm just so happy to have this opportunity at a second chance at life. Hope everyone is having their best journey ❤️ Together, we got this!
      · 2 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Great work Anna! Keep it up 😁

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×