Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Skin and Sex...



Recommended Posts

So, I am seeing the surgeon tomorrow about a revision to either sleeve or bypass. I think with either I will likely lose a lot of weight, and I'm worried already about the excess skin. I didn't worry before my first surgery because hubs and I didn't have sex very often at all. I figured if I looked ok in clothes, it would all be okay. I didn't plan on being with anyone else. Long story short, hubs and I had sex exactly twice since my lapband in 2009. However, I'm in a different relationship now. I have asked my boyfriend of 2.5 years to give me his serious opinions on how he will feel about the excess skin I will probably have. I even sent him some pics to consider. Our relationship is long distance and we never see each other any less than 6 weeks between visits. So, he will not have the chance to gradually get used to the skin. It will be a big transition between visits. He admits the visual might be tough to get used to, but he says he loves me for me and it will be okay. My question is have any of you had any issues with skin affecting your sex life. Also, do you have any lingerie tips or anything like that for concealing the skin? I've not had a revision, and I'm already worried about feeling sexy in my skin. I'm accustomed to feeling sexy even in my large body. I'm just no so sure about a thin but saggy body.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No issues at all. I tell my husband he needs ironing, but I love every piece of saggy skin and vice versa. If they love us fat they love us saggy! Good luck, be healthy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. Ironing...haha

I told him lingerie might help, and he had just eaten a super big meal. He told me if he didn't stop eating, he might need lingerie. I love his sense of humor. He will like the ironing comment.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've never known a guy to get to "that point" and back away. Then again my buddies aren't superficial and haven't dated super models.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He has an insanely high sex drive. I'm hoping that will help override any possible qualms about skin. Hopefully. That and the fact that we go weeks at a time with only "self-love" and phone sex, so hopefully he will also be so desperate for the real thing that it will be ok. Lol

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you may be overthinking things.

my husband has never had any problem with my body. not when I was thinner, not when I was younger. not when I was pregnant (right up to the morning of being induced) not when I was nursing (milk everywhere with the O) not when I was heavier, not when I got older, not when the weight is coming off and skin is in weird places.

He thinks I'm sexy, funny and beautiful, and I hope your man feels the same about you no matter where you are in your life, or weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He has an insanely high sex drive. I'm hoping that will help override any possible qualms about skin. Hopefully. That and the fact that we go weeks at a time with only "self-love" and phone sex, so hopefully he will also be so desperate for the real thing that it will be ok. Lol

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

We are a very sexually active couple as well. Neither my wife nor I are.concerned.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is so true! I just turned 70 last month. My husband has begged me 25 years, and still, to buy a bikini. Right now he is a couple hours away, and just told me to get naked and relax after I was in the pool. We might get old, but in our minds we remain you and happy in heart!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Loopylulu, we joke all the time about being the couple in the nursing home that gets in trouble for pda. Lol

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he is over 40 and had ever been with a woman who has had kids, he'll be fine. Gravity wins in the end, and most guys realize air brushed models are not reality. On the plus side, the hormone dump might bring out the hyper-sexual in you and he really won't care at that point.

Always remember, fun, confidence and skill are always the best things to wear to bed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, if I get any more hyper sexual, I'd be a nympho. Haha. I could tell you how we met, but only in a PM. Haha. Yes, he's over 40, but I'm not quite there. I will say confidence and fun and never absent in our bedroom situations. Haha. I just want to keep turning him on like I do now.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Poor paramedic, you don't want it??? You don't have the urge at all or issues in your relationship make you not want it with her?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sex? What's sex? Hell been over a year for wife and I. I just don't want it. Plus we have some issues

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Everyone has issues. Maybe the best thing is this surgery, and then renewed health/stamina. If you have children, a long term wife/marriage, I promise it is not perfect for anyone here no matter what they say. Work on you and your family, because that is the most important thing on earth. Best wishes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×