Flip flopping family member(s)

[Jane1979 270]

For a couple of years now I have heard from my aunts that I should get WLS and just save up for it blah blah blah.

Well, here I am now starting the process! I called one of my aunts today, it's been quite some time since I have spoken to her. And near the ending of our convo, I told her I met with a weight loss surgeon and looking like after Christmas I most likely would have surgery.

I got a really long pause, so long that I thought the call dropped. She finally responded "why would you do that? Just stop eating."

OMG! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE!? ITS SO SIMPLE! JUST STOP EATING!

Guess what everyone?! If you don't eat, we won't be fat anymore! Now I remember why I don't talk to my family members that often.

Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to stuff my face.

Before you get all excited, I have not started pre-op diet yet. I know food funerals are bad. I have no excuse. I just want to eat stuff I may never have again.

Ps. The auto correct for PREOP on iPhone is Oreos.

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[Valentina 2,642]

For a couple of years now I have heard from my aunts that I should get WLS and just save up for it blah blah blah.

Well, here I am now starting the process! I called one of my aunts today, it's been quite some time since I have spoken to her. And near the ending of our convo, I told her I met with a weight loss surgeon and looking like after Christmas I most likely would have surgery.

I got a really long pause, so long that I thought the call dropped. She finally responded "why would you do that? Just stop eating."

OMG! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE!? ITS SO SIMPLE! JUST STOP EATING!

Guess what everyone?! If you don't eat, we won't be fat anymore! Now I remember why I don't talk to my family members that often.

Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to stuff my face.

Before you get all excited, I have not started pre-op diet yet. I know food funerals are bad. I have no excuse. I just want to eat stuff I may never have again.

Ps. The auto correct for PREOP on iPhone is Oreos.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

For a couple of years now I have heard from my aunts that I should get WLS and just save up for it blah blah blah.

Well, here I am now starting the process! I called one of my aunts today, it's been quite some time since I have spoken to her. And near the ending of our convo, I told her I met with a weight loss surgeon and looking like after Christmas I most likely would have surgery.

I got a really long pause, so long that I thought the call dropped. She finally responded "why would you do that? Just stop eating."

OMG! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE!? ITS SO SIMPLE! JUST STOP EATING!

Guess what everyone?! If you don't eat, we won't be fat anymore! Now I remember why I don't talk to my family members that often.

Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to stuff my face.

Before you get all excited, I have not started pre-op diet yet. I know food funerals are bad. I have no excuse. I just want to eat stuff I may never have again.

Ps. The auto correct for PREOP on iPhone is Oreos.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Take a deep breath and------------------THINK!

You have to be committed enough, strong enough, informed enough and independent enough to travel your WLS journey ALONE to be truly secure in having a successful journey.

When everything and every one around you collapses you only have yourself to rely upon. That/you should be enough to see you through to your new life style and healthier you.

WLS is only part of the solution. The rest is up to your BRAIN. Start wrapping your head around that now. Many times a good bariatric therapist is the answer on just how to do that. You have to get any eating disorders/addictions under control and understood BEFORE surgery.

And, NO, my friend. Food funerals are not bad. They are a meant to be a final farewell acknowledgement of your eating lifestyle that you are knowingly and gleefully leaving behind. FINAL farewell---just before you start your pre-op diet. ONCE done----not an excuse to binge every time you get stressed through out your 6month pre-op experience. You will have to learn different coping skills. Once again, a good bariatric friendly therapist can be a valuable asset for you.

I had a food funeral. I will cherish the memories of that day for the rest of my life. My SO made it a very special event for me ---leaving me feeling much loved and much encouraged as I looked forward to my "new life". Don't let anyone talk you out of that experience. (MHO).

Take time to be kind to yourself. Write down your "pros and cons" list of having WLS. Post the lists where you will see them everyday. Read them out loud to yourself. You will build up your self confidence to the level where no matter what ANYONE says, YOU will know that having WLS is the right move for YOU.

I look forward to following your SUCCESSFUL and JOYFUL WLS.

[Sirmikael 59]

My approval process was delayed for a while, so I had a few months of last meals/food funerals. I really feel like I got most of it out of my system. My surgery is on Monday, so it's too late now!

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I know a lot of people are against food funerals. I however am not.

I ate whatever I wanted until I start pre-op and I found that it helped me get through the weeks of not eating, and also I really didn't eat as much as I thought I would. Most people have anywhere from 3-5 weeks they are not chewing anything. Looking back on those food funerals I was able to get over not eating.

I'm sorry about your family, but you don't need your aunts approval or support. It would be nice, but you can do this alone. Good luck.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

If your aunt was mine, I'd tell her to suck my chubby butt, but I'm like that, you know? And you're not ALONE, you've got me!!! Excited yet?!?!

"Foood funerals" aren't BAD, I simply chose not to have one. I don't build memories around FOOOD -- that thought process seems sort of bizarre to me. I choose to build memories around friends and family and events.

I figured I'd eaten my way to 264 pounds and had more than my share of foood. I didn't care to gain more only to have to turn around and lose it, but I was also so sick of myself, I was in that mindset when I set my surgical date.

I am three years out and I can eat anything I want. Oddly (happily?), I no longer WANT. It's fabulous.

Vent away. You're going to be fine.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

For a couple of years now I have heard from my aunts that I should get WLS.... She finally responded "why would you do that? Just stop eating."......Now I remember why I don't talk to my family members that often.

Before you get all excited, I have not started pre-op diet yet. I know food funerals are bad. I have no excuse. I just want to eat stuff I may never have again.

The good news is that you know which relatives are cuckoo.

I'm not "all excited" about your foood funeral. The extent of my opinion on them is "I dunno, I guess I don't see the point." I thought I'd do a 'last meal.' While pondering what it might be or how many days it might span, it occurred to me that one more or one fewer gorge would do nothing for me and so I skipped the whole thing. At the same time I knew that if a particular foood truly would be off the plate forever, I wouldn't miss it; I'd come to shrug at it. It has played out that way since surgery seven years ago. @@Lipstick Lady said it well.

My other choice was to lose some weight pre-surgery. My surgeon had told me she didn't care about that and I thought "Goodie!" Then, three weeks before, I changed my eating and lost 11 lbs. The change in attitude came when I realized that, if I were serious about losing weight, I'd start right away.

"Foood funerals" aren't BAD, I simply chose not to have one. I don't build memories around FOOOD -- that thought process seems sort of bizarre to me. I choose to build memories around friends and family and events.

She also remembered the spelling thing. I'm surprised that "funerals" doesn't turn blue. They missed an op.

[Sumaire 75]

My daughter hasn't flipflopped, but she's been unsupportive. She's afraid that something bad will happen and that I'll die because of the surgery, which is scheduled for 10/27/16, a week after my birthday.

​MAN, what a birthday present!

​For a long while, she was nagging at me, grabbing any negative statistic she could find about the surgery, but I didn't let it obviously get to me.

​The nagging has stopped, and now she's doing the whole "well, we won't be able to eat together now" thing, which you all and I know isn't the case.

​My Mom, who, a couple years ago, told me that I should look into it, as I am morbidly obese, and have several serious health issues as a result, hasn't responded to my last two emails to her, where I first told her that my information had been submitted to insurance for surgery approval, and then my email to her last Wednesday, telling her that it had been approved.

​Family is weird, I suppose. We just have to find a way to deal with it.

[theantichick 2,204]

​The nagging has stopped, and now she's doing the whole "well, we won't be able to eat together now" thing, which you all and I know isn't the case.

LOL. My sis had VSG about 4 years ago, and my parents were worried about my having it. At first they were telling me how they were concerned that all of her health issues seem to be related to the VSG. When I let them know that they are not related (I'm a nurse), they backed off that track. The next time I saw them, they were worried that I'd become a downer and no fun to eat with anymore because my sis is one of those people who has to tell you about everything and how things work (even if she doesn't really know). I let them know that as far as I'm concerned, I'm not the food police so I don't speak about what other people are choosing to eat, and after a few months I'll be able to eat whatever I decide to just in smaller portions. And unless you ask me, I'm not going to go on and on about why I'm eating smaller portions or what you should/should not be eating. They finally decided to quit hassling me about it. LOL

[Sumaire 75]

It's like they try one tack, and when that doesn't capsize the surgery boat, they try another.

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[MaryCatherine 173]

There is no food that I can't eat now. food funerals are kind of silly because people can go back to eating everything they did before surgery, just in much smaller servings.

[Jane1979 270]

Oh yeah, I have plenty of insane family members. I'm not letting them get to me. The only people who's opinion matter, live with me. And they are supporting me 100% which I am very thankful for.

I have a laundry list of reasons to go through with surgery and wouldn't you know... Not one of the reasons is to please my moronic aunts. Oh update on me stuffing my face, I ended up having a slice of plain pizza (I don't like toppings) and coke. Fair well pizza and coke! My first NUT appointment is tomorrow (well today cause it's 1:26am) and I'm rather excited.

Also I will be starting nicotine Patches today! Oh boy... Sure hope I don't hurt someone. It's been a crazy month around here can't wait for September to end. (Cue Greenday)

Anyway, I don't know what the actual definition of a food funeral is. I don't know if it's an act of binge eating a certain food and giving it up or??? My food funerals so far have consisted of me saying well I may never eat pizza again so here's my last ever slice. I also said goodbye to cheesecake as of yesterday. And just had my very last Hershey bar with almonds.

Idk what the NUT is going to tell me tomorrow, but what ever instructions she has, I will follow.

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[Sumaire 75]

I think of a food funeral as your last chance to have those special foods you really enjoy before you can't have them again, as some people's tastes change post-surgery, or their bodies decide they're no longer on the menu.

It's a farewell to food, an Irish wake of sorts, but without the hangover the next morning.

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[Jane1979 270]

@@Sumaire I once had a food hangover, Christmas 2014.... I come from a culture where if you don't eat... The person feels disrespected. I had to actually have an allergic reaction in front of them so they could understand that I can't eat shrimp. (I'll explain)

Walked into friends house filled with guests New Year's Eve. She brought me a shrimp cocktail. I told her, no thank you, I can't eat shrimp or any seafood really. I'm allergic. 20 minutes later, she hands me a cracker with God knows what on it. When she turned away, I placed it in a napkin and tossed it. Her mom decided to literally shove a cracker with crap on it in my mouth yelling at me that I have not eaten anything at the party.

My mouth began to tingle I could feel my throat closing up... I asked... Was that seafood dip? She said yes... I said, ok, now take me to the emergency room because I need a shot. She didn't believe me till my lips started swelling. My husband glanced over, ran to me and took me to the ER. they never offered me seafood again

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[Travelher 915]

Wow Jane1979 that is insane! People are crazy. Amazing how culturally there can be a lot of pressure to eat, but god forbid you look like you like to eat.

[leebick 448]

I'm lucky that my husband and daughter are 100% supportive of my surgery. My daughter came to stay while I was in the hospital, and when she was here she made 2 weeks worth of dinners for my husband, so I won't have to cook or be in the kitchen while I am on liquids. They are my rocks!

I had a "goodbye food" week. I ate my favorite meals at my favorite restaurants, but I didn't go overboard, ordering appetizers and Desserts in addition to my meals. I went to 50 cent buffalo wing night at the local pub, and we had a beer and pizza night (wood fired- yum!) another night. I had Mexican food one night and Chinese another. We went to Olive Garden, (where I didn't order Fettuccini alfredo), and to a local restaurant where I had prime rib and baked potato. I ate all my favorite foods, not because I won't ever be able to et them again, but because it's going to be a looooooong time before these things are allowed in my diet, and because I won't be eating what I like in the quantities I used to. Actually, I think I had more issue with knowing I'll be limited in quantity that in worrying about "never" eating something again. I LIKED being full. I liked eating 10 chicken wings, half a small pizza, a big cut of prime rib with a baked potato (only butter, no sour cream, not loaded). I know that's how I got so overweight, and I am ready to make the change, but while I know I'll be able to have the foods I liked, I'll never eat them in quantity again (thank goodness!)- so I was happy to make that little food pilgrimage, sort of like closing the door on my old habits and opening the door to new ones!