When does Regret go away?

[rny_bri 1]

So I'm 2 months post-op tomorrow and have been dealing with severe regret and depression since day 1 post-op. Everyone tells me it will go away, that once I see the weight loss that I will be happy that I choose to have surgery. I'm still not happy, despite the weightloss. Couple the regret with depression, it's like I'm just existing, not living. I tell everyone that I feel like I died on the operating table, not in the physical sense, but in every way else...like I'm just a shell. I know that sounds morbid but I can't help it. I'm angry and jealous of my family to the point that I feel it turning to hate. They continue to cook and order my favorite foods and stuff their face around me...they never gain weight but of course I did even I just looked at it it seems. I was never this spiteful or angry, depressed before surgery. I'm 21 years old, and the thought of living a 'diet lifestyle' forever just makes it worse. I don't want to make the changes that I'm forced to make I don't want to have to do macros and log everything forever in fear of gaining weight. I was advised to look online to groups, and when I do I see all these people who jump down people's throats for what they consume..that they avoid carbs ever since the surgery... that we can't eat this or that ever again and I go deeper into depression. I just don't think this was for me....I just want to be a normal person who can go out without worry, someone who doesn't have to look at labels everytime she wants to consume something, someone who doesn't have to worry about 'dumping'.... sorry for venting.

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[asantiago 89]

Hello. Hang in here. I am 8 mys out and I been through hell and have had a lot of complications. Had to have a second Surgury 1 month later and than 3 times dilation and now I have a TPN and a picc line. This is normal. Your hormones are not where they should me. There is a hormonal imbalance due to the shock your body went through. It will get better within a month or so. When you start feeling this way find a friend or family member that is understanding or husband , boyfriend, someone you can talk to and cry if you have to. It will get better. You will notice as time goes by that this was the best decision you have made but it will take time. Trust me I went through severe depression and sometimes I break down especially now that I have to be on TPN. Stay focus and busy and do things you like or find something you can keep your mind busy. You will be ok.

[MNDogMom 8]

Talking about your feelings with a licensed therapist will help a ton. Also, taking with a nutritionist/dietician regarding what your future menu will look like will help as well.

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[Ms. Thankful 11]

God Bless You and comfort you ????????❤

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[DeletedMember 715]

I echo the comment to find a therapist ASAP as it sounds like you're in a pretty bad placed mentally/emotionally.

But it will get better, it really will. First, it's massively more difficult to deal with these issues while you are struggling to just get in fluids and Protein, let alone work through the various stages and figure out what food will sit well versus what won't (and even that is a moving target!).

You will eventually get to a point (3 months? 6 months? 1 year? Depends on the individual) where you can largely eat "normally". Not to say you can or should eat anything you want (that's how we got here), but you can eat a large variety of foods, and although you will eat small portions, you will begin to feel more "normal" when eating in front of others, etc.

Very little, if anything, is off limits forever. You may chose to never eat ice cream again, or bread, or Pasta. Or you may chose to have these things in limited quantities, it's really up to you. If you go back to eating the same way you did before surgery, you will end up at the same weight you were before surgery. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

This is how I approach food. What I CAN eat, is actually very good, so I focus on that as opposed to what I CAN'T eat. For instance, I made this spanish chicken stew this week that is absolutely FANTASTIC. Honestly, it's as good a lunch as I've had at work in years. I also made up a batch of chicken/quinoa enchilada casserole that is also fantastic. My cajun chicken with "rice" (I substituted riced cauliflower) was just "ok", but live and learn.

I have also truly learned to love fruit. When you reduce the amount of refined sugar you take in to near zero, things like fresh fruit become amazing.

I also make my own Protein shake every morning with a half banana, peanut powder and chocolate almond milk, and it's crazy good.

I guess my point is that if you focus on everything you "can't" have (and lets be honest, pizza and ice cream are REALLY delicious) then you will inevitably be sad and jealous. If instead, you focus on all the really amazing and healthy foods that you can have, you may soon come to realize that the other food isn't necessary or even important. You are still enjoying food, and that food is incredibly good for you and your body. Not to mention you're dropping the weight, and looking and feeling better. All things considered, it seems a very, very small price to pay.

I'm 6 months out, and still have not had any "forbidden" foods, but mostly because I really don't want to. Will that always be the case? I don't know, but I'm enjoying the ride for now.

[The Candidate 3,215]

You should seriously consider consulting. I hope things improve for you very soon. Best of wishes.

[heartofthetinman 31]

I had a friend on weight watchers who gave herself a cheat day every other week. She said it got her through and didn't make her feel like she was depriving herself.