3 Year Surgiversary- Woke up at Goal

[AvaFern 3,516]

So, last Friday was my 3-year surgiversary. I had good intentions to post on that day, but this is the first day that I haven’t been slammed with work or other stuff. This in itself kind of makes me smile because while I was busy before I had surgery, it was never because I was away from my desk for huge amounts of the day and not really thinking about weight at all.

On surgiversary day, I woke up at my goal…I was 129.2. I have been at goal for about 18 months now, although I do fluctuate down to 127 and up to 133, depending on the day. The only way I have been able to stay at goal is to weigh myself every day and take immediate steps to correct any weight gain. As an example, while 9 days ago I was 129.2 and 3 days ago I was 129.8, this morning I woke up at 132.8 (yikes). This happened because I spent two days eating sweets. I had a mini scone from Starbucks…and then two more. I had a pumpkin spice latte, several pop tarts, a cake pop, and I’m sure I’m missing something in there. I really didn’t eat much more than that, so I wasn’t much over my calories for the day, but sugar and sweets are one way that I gain weight almost instantly if I eat them more than occasionally. So, this morning I’m back to my normal routine where I can have sweets sometimes if I want to, but I’ll be more careful for the next few days and I will be right back around 129 by about Tuesday. In the event any new person happens to be reading this, getting to goal is difficult, but being aware of the fact that you never get to just ignore the scale and think you get to stay skinny once you’re at goal is also not exactly the most fun realization. I am fine with it because my size 2 clothing makes me far happier than cupcakes, but it is a sobering thought to know that if I want to be thin, every single day for the rest of my life I will need to be aware of my weight and the actions I take to maintain it.

On that note, maintaining is not terribly difficult as long as I don’t eat too many sweets. I was one of the people who didn’t follow the vast majority of the rules after I hit the 6-week post-op mark, and it worked for me. When I want cake, I eat cake…I just make sure I weigh myself and then if I gain weight, I eat carrots instead of cake the next few days. Most days I don’t workout anymore. When I was losing I worked out for 1-3 hours a day- now I don’t have time for that and to be fair I’m kind of lazy. I eat about 1200- 1500 calories on average, which means that on days where I am out of my house all day I eat about 800-1000 calories and days where I am at home all day I munch my way through probably about 1600-1800, but it all averages out to roughly 1200-1500-ish. Most days I have sugar free Red Bull and a Bevita bar for Breakfast, I snack on goldfish crackers throughout the day, and then I will have either half of a pick 2 from Panera for lunch and the other half for Breakfast (ex: a cup of chili for lunch and half of a sandwich for dinner), or a turkey and cheese lunchable for dinner without much lunch, a few bites of a Chipotle salad as kind of a lunch-dinner ongoing chew-fest at my desk, or some other variety of something that usually involves some form of meat, vegetable, and mild carbs.

Past that, I drink coffee like a fiend and I mix in the full fat caramel from Starbucks with skim milk, I drink diet soda, I never use a straw, and I drink and eat during all my meals. If I want to have alcohol, I do, although to be fair I think I’ve had a few glasses of champagne and a few sips of wine once this summer and that’s about it in probably over a year. At three years post-op, I know what foods my stomach doesn’t like (too much sugar, dairy, oil, fat, fried stuff), so if I want to eat something like that I know I get a few bites and if I eat more I’m going to get sick. Basically my diet is one that works for me and is something I can do for the rest of my life. I don’t care that I don’t eat Pasta, burgers, pizza, chips, brownies or Cookies anymore, because I know if I want them, I’m allowed to have them, so I don’t have much interest in having them often. I don’t care that I can’t sit in front of the tv and enjoy a giant pile of food like I used to or that I don’t really get to fully enjoy the going out to dinner experience because some food just makes me want to barf looking at it. I am just fine with not being able to eat heavy foods in the morning- no more eggs and waffles, because just thinking about that made me feel woozy, and I am ok with walking through a grocery store and feeling no real interest in actually buying and eating anything. My relationship with food has become one of necessity as opposed to friendship. I eat when I am hungry (and sometimes when I’m bored), but not when I’m sad or overly happy and I don’t wander through the grocery store after a bad day and throw everything that looks good into my cart because I can console myself with it later. Food and I are friends now, because it keeps me healthy, not because it makes me happy.

Beyond that, my life is totally different now. When I first debated having this surgery, I was horrified that I was cutting my stomach out FOREVER. What in the flip was I thinking?! The first few weeks after surgery I was sure I had made a mistake and I read all of the stories on here in the hopes that I would feel better. I looked for those of people who were years past surgery to know that I wasn’t making a mistake. I can honestly say at this point having the sleeve was the best thing I have done. For the first time in my life, I am not obsessed with my weight. I had been thin in the past but it required exercising everyday and constantly feeling like I was starving. I very rarely even feel hungry now. I had put so many things on hold in my life because until I was thin, I had no interest in doing anything else. I now own two successful businesses, I am in law school full time (a dream I have had since I was a kid but never even considered seriously as an adult before) and I am working on my MBA. While work was good before the sleeve, any pursuits outside of that were entirely oriented toward being thin. I had no time to improve my education because fat people need to be on treadmills, not in law school (my thoughts at the time- not now!). When I leave my house in the morning, I look in the mirror and 90% of the time I think…damn, you look good. Never once in my life have I felt that way before. When I have a bad day, when someone is not very nice to me, or when something doesn’t go right…my first thought is no longer that it happened because I am fat and worthless, and in fact, it doesn’t even cross my mind. I shop in stores where 3 years ago I couldn’t fit in their biggest sizes and now I am in their smallest sizes. I spend money on makeup, shoes, watches, clothing- things to make me feel pretty, whereas before I never bothered because I didn’t think I was worth it.

Although this is kind of a long post, as a three-year update, if anyone is thinking about the sleeve, I wanted to explain how much it gave me my life back, how I really do get to eat normal food and live like a normal person, and because of this surgery, I have SO much more in my life than I ever did before. I am happy, I am healthy, and every bit of misery along the way after surgery was worth it to be at the place I am now.

[Icantbelieveit 955]

Congratulations! Exactly what I wanted going in for gastric bypass back in may. Thank you!

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

[Heather I 500]

This is amazing timing. My surgery is tomorrow. Congratulations on your amazing success and new lifestyle of happiness and confidence! You've really eased my fears about the future.

[OzRoo 1,492]

@@AvaFern

Well done and Congratulations !!!

Wonderful news and achievement.

Yes, when I eat sweets, my weight loss stalls, or even gain a little. It is amazing that sugar affects the weight so fast.

Hence, mostly I stay away from it.

Good on you for being a WLS success and maintaining your goal weight.

And congrats on getting your life back

[Pescador 1,374]

CHEERS !!!!!!!!!

[AMJK79 34]

Thanks for sharing and congratulations on hitting and maintaining goal!!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

every bit of misery after surgery was worth it to be at the place I am now.

@@AvaFern

hey girlfriend

screaming at the top of my lungs -

happy happy happy 3rd year surgiversary!!

wow - can you believe its been that long??

great/wonderful accomplishment!!!

hold on to your hat

all your hard work has paid off

you deserve all the health and happiness in the world!!!

keep up the good work for the rest of your healthier, happier, longer life

huggggggs

kathy

congrats

[LizCapeCod 29]

Inspiring and just what I need to know! I am just hitting goal now and am about the same size as you.

[AvaFern 3,516]

@@proudgrammy

Thank-you!