The 10 Commandments of the LapBand.... a revisit

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

So i was looking back at some of my favorite post over the past 7 years (when it was just lapband and we use to have fun) and came across this one from my good friend Knaroz.... Although funny.... very informative....

Posted January 24, 2012 - 1:00 AM

#1

I found this years ago, and while it sounds crazy, I always listen to what it says lol.

1. Thou shalt consume thy Protein first, followed by thy veggies and fruits. If thou, then hast any room left thou shalt comsume thy carbs lastly!

2. Thou shalt take the tiniest of bites, placing thy fork and thy spoon upon thine table, that thou shalt have more time between bites to savor that which thou hast eaten, and allow thy stomach adequate time to inform thy brain of thine fullness.

3. Thou shalt chew and chew and when thou has done so, thou shalt chew some more, lest thy band rise up and smite thee,causing in thy chest great pain, and spewing forth.

4. Thou shalt drink of thy Water, copiously, consuming all that has been recommended to thee, that thou mayest be spared the pangs of hunger and dehydration, and thou shalt thus, also keep thy kidneys well flushed, that thou shalt not develop stones to aggrieve thee.

5. Thou shalt exercise in a manner that thou mayest choose, of thine own accord, providing that thou art faithful to thine execise regimen,that thou shalt not falter on thy journey to thine smaller self.

6. Thou shalt honor thy band and maintain it well, that it shalt be a steadfast friend to thee throughout thine entire life. Thou wilt,from time to time, as thou hast been told, obtain for it the fills that it needest that it may then help thee in thy hours of need, keeping it always in perfect adjustment for thine benefit.

7. Thou shalt not worry and gnash thy teeth, becoming aggrieved at those times when thy losses seemingly stop and thy weight remaineth constant, remembering then that thou tookest long to acquire thine pounds, and that thy pounds must then take time for loss.

8. Thou shalt maintain a log or dairy of thine measurements, that thou mayest truly perceive the effect of they band when thine scale doth pause in it's downward progress.

9. Thou shalt join into and participate within thy local support community, for without the input, experience and love of they fellow bandsters, thou shalt have a much more difficult time in thy journey, and when thou art well upon thy road, thou shalt then likewise assist those who followest in thine footsteps that they too might be successful in their own diminishment.

10. Thou shalt beware of thine " soft calories syndrome", keeping always in thy mind that thou canst thus sabotage thine efforts and thine investment and lead thee then therefore into depression and guilt. As once stated "Just because thou canst, it meaneth not that thou shouldith".

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

I've never heard of "soft calories." Is that a known description? The only guess I can make is the things that go down easily, such as the crunchy, hi-cal things like chips and all things sugar (Cookies, cake, ice cream, et al.). Is that it?

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Yes.... this is correct

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Thanks for clarifying. You know what will happen now - I'll be hearing and reading it everywhere.

[Julie norton 2,850]

I like it! And I also miss Lapband talk from years ago. Many of us are not seeing the same people.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

@@Julie norton I sure do miss a lot of them..... Got to thinking about miss Shirley the other day, sure do miss her, but she is in a better place (Rip). Wish there was a way to reach out to the old group... just to see how they are doing.

[Bandista 7,466]

This is fantastic! Thanks so much for re-posting. I have not been on here as long but I sure am glad I found Lapband Talk that year or so before it combined into Bariatric Pal. I got so much great support from those who went before me.

[maryz0920 9]

Thanks for the repost. So true...

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[Dub 9,922]

Great list of Commandments @@bayougirlmrsc

Many of those translate over to other wls and are solid tenants to adopt for us all.

[ADJL 685]

I so needed to read this. I lost then maintained for a long time...I just went through another big (35 lb) loss and I would like to keep it going...

[Sai 785]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Yes.... this is correct

Ahh, ok I'm used to calling them empty calories. Those 10 rules are applicable to many of us. Thank you