For Pre-Ops: What I've Learned One Yr Out

[FocusOnMeNow 599]

Dear Pre-Ops,

So I'm one year out and I can eat nearly anything I want, just not that much of it. I can eat a full slice of pizza (not making a habit of it though). Want to know what I really truly miss the most? salad and raw veggies. No lie I swear. There's a reason they call it "roughage". I can eat a few bites, but honestly I miss those big crunchy salads from the Whole Foods salad bar more than anything else. I jest you not. My mom had bypass and I asked her what she missed the most and she said pizza and cheesecake. So I had my "last supper" more than a month before surgery. I was kind of disgusted with myself and felt good about giving that stuff up. But honestly if I had to do it all over again I would pig out in salad and raw veggies (with Salad Dressing of course) until the cows come home.

What else? Mainly that the eating is not about the food. Yes the better the food tastes pre op the harder it is to resist. But someone on one of these forums recommended to read Brene Brown's books: Gift of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong. I got the kindle and the audible versions and have listened to them in the car, on the airplane, wherever (so not having time to read is not an excuse). By participating in these forums, going to therapy, going to Overeaters anonymous, and listening to Brene I have somehow learned to "Let It Go". Let what go? My bitterness, anger, hatred for myself and others. By learning to accept and embrace my own imperfections and short comings I can also accept and forgive others who were not really there for me in the way that I needed or wanted them to be. We're all human, we're all doing the best we can. Some of us are ill-equipped to be the person we wanted to be but we all will do better once we know better AND have the tools we need. Although I probably had an even shorter fuse about months 6-11 post op, somehow I have managed to let it all go. Not just the 103 lbs I have lost (still slowly losing), but also all that bitterness, anger, and resentment that I have been carrying around for the past 46 years. That is just as if not more freeing as the weight loss. I truly feel lighter inside and out. I know that I will have to work at this every day so that as I hit life's little bumps I can continue to think and truly feel "oh well $h!t happens" instead of taking everything as a personal attack because I'm defective, I'm not worthy, etc. But I am committed to doing that. FRiends and family have recently commented how it's so much nicer to be around me now. It didn't happen overnight, but little by little. I just want to encourage you all to take good care of yourself, love yourself, embrace your faults warts and all, and find your own inner peace. Gratitude is a huge part of that!

Good luck on your journey!

[Farcaster 80]

Why aren't you able to eat salad? I'm just shy of 3 months out, and every once in a while after I've hit my Protein goals out of the park, I have a salad as one of my meals. I mean, it isn't a big bowl of it, but it isn't very dense, so I can finish about 3/4 of a cup or so of it.