Struggling to deal with friends!

[AudreyDarling 46]

Sheesh what a long hard journey this is!! I have a very good friend who had lap band and every single little thing I say gets compared to her story! For example today...I say I finish my 3 month pre op diet tomorrow, and I called my dr and it sounds like I still have a long road ahead of me, waiting for insurance approval, waiting for a dr appt, then preop diet and surgery date, she instantly fires back well I had a 6 month diet, and a 4 week pre op diet! It's just like sheesh let me vent just a second about how I am so ready for surgery! She constantly says snide comments about how I could never be a size 10 (I'm a size 22) or how I'll lose the weight and gain it all back that's why lap band is better! Ugh! Ya know?! I love her so much but she made her decision, now I am getting to make mine! Thank you so letting me vent lol

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[busybeebug 415]

I feel your frustration. Smile broadly and blink. Lol seriously, you have to do what is right for you just like she does what's right for her.

My best verbal response I can come up with Awe thank you for your concern. Bless your heart.

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[laceemouse 631]

I am just not going to tell anyone until maybe after I have surgery, but then I don't know anyone who has had WLS anyway. I would think she would be more supportive. But I agree, your best response would probably be "I have discussed this with my doctors and they feel this is right for me".

My surgeon is not a fan of the band, and I don't want something like that in my body, but I understand it works for some people.

That size 10 comment makes no sense at all. Why does she care what size you wear or will end up wearing? Maybe just tell her your goal is to be more healthy??

[Armygalbonnie 643]

Doesn't sound much like a friend.

[chele367 81]

Okay I am 3 months post op from sleeve, the hard cold reality set in for me when my own aunt started to unravel because I chose to get the sleeve. Never in my life did I expect someone whom is also overweight begin to berate me, telling me I better not go around telling everyone how much weight I lost. And you better bring your own food, it is not right to make others accommodate your life style. And at 80lbs gone she is still the only person who has not said a word about my weight loss. Day of surgery a nice nurse put his arm around me and said "people are going to treat you differently and change, you just keep on doing what you have to do". So at first it did not set in but now it is starting. Your friend probably does not want to be over shadowed by your success. Do not let ANYONE sway you from your goal, not the insurance process, the red tape, doctors just keep moving forward. Worry about your own happiness and bring your frustrations here to the chat rooms, it is what helped me. We all understand and are not clouded by personal relationships. Cling tight to this read others posts, respond and build a sense of community here. You do not need anyone's approval besides insurance to approve. Tell who you want in real life, but as you lose more weight people will ask. Anyway never give up and do not listen to anyone who is not on your team!! You deserve this. Message me anytime okay? Glad to support you. Michele

[Deja007 14]

This is the reason why i have chose to keep my surgery a secret for now . A few years back when i was going to have the surgery I allowed every story someone told me to scare me away. This time I did my research and got online to talk with others taking this journey. I didn't want to hear all the negative unwanted comments. Makes me sad a little bit because my surgery is next month. So just my spouse and children know.

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[eye1der 11]

I am having gastric sleeve in October and I am now experiencing some of these comments from my own family. My mother recently gained weight and now weighs 160 pounds compared to me at 240 pounds. She told me she was already jealous and worries I will be smaller than her and I have sister saying the same thing. What they are not saying is "I can't wait until you feel better". I keep reminding them it has nothing to do with vanity. This is for my health. I am already not included in some family activities because I can't always keep up and I don't quite fit on the kayak. I remind myself they do not have a weight issue and don't understand how unhealthy I feel and they don't know how hard I have tried on my own only to receive little victories and then gain all the weight back. At this point all I can do is stick with the positive support network I do have and hope they come around when they see I can take longer walks without having to take a break and see the other positive health benefits that are coming my way. I am proud of you for taking that step or for anyone taking this step. It is a difficult decision no matter what type of WLS you are choosing. Cheers to us all!

[AudreyDarling 46]

Thank you all so much!!! I love this app so much. I can always hop on and feel so much better!!! I'm a single mom and 270 lbs and I can't wait to play with my baby outside and not lose my breathe!!! That's what my goal is! No one else should matter! Thank you all again!!!

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[shelbys mom 70]

Sheesh what a long hard journey this is!! I have a very good friend who had lap band and every single little thing I say gets compared to her story! For example today...I say I finish my 3 month pre op diet tomorrow, and I called my dr and it sounds like I still have a long road ahead of me, waiting for insurance approval, waiting for a dr appt, then preop diet and surgery date, she instantly fires back well I had a 6 month diet, and a 4 week pre op diet! It's just like sheesh let me vent just a second about how I am so ready for surgery! She constantly says snide comments about how I could never be a size 10 (I'm a size 22) or how I'll lose the weight and gain it all back that's why lap band is better! Ugh! Ya know?! I love her so much but she made her decision, now I am getting to make mine! Thank you so letting me vent lol

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Thats pretty lousy, how she is acting. I'd distance myself from her, and make a lunch date when your a size 10 or below!! Lol lol

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[theantichick 2,204]

This is my response to people who want to nay-say me:

Seriously, when it's someone you care about, smile, wave, and move on. It's not worth getting in a tussle, and they aren't the ones in my shoes making my decisions. If they are, then they need to pony up for rent and groceries!! LOL

[mollymckim 27]

This is good information. I am at the beginning of my research and this is a big concern for me. I feel like you are looked down on if you choose surgery. Thanks for the posts

[Andreaj2003 19]

I am very grateful that I can have the most difficult conversation about anything. Tell her how you feel.

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[bac2u 41]

I am in my 6th month for my insurance requirement and I have only told my husband, kids and sister. In six months my sister has never asked me about the surgery. I told her the other day to speak now or forever hold your peace. She said one word "nervous?" Literally one word in a half a year. I don't want to hear a thing after the surgery. I'm not even going to tell her my surgery date when I have one. I'm glad my husband is supportive because I've got no support there.

[Dollface_D 12]

That definitely isn't a true friend. I have learned that the best thing you can ever do for yourself is cut out negativity from your life because it'll only bring you down. I am still in the early stages of my journey and already my family is tired of me talking about it or showing them you guys success. I am to the point where the only person who really supports me and is excited it my man and quite frankly I okay with that because I've made up my mind about what's best for me and nobody will bring me down.

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[Dollface_D 12]

Omg typo.

Excited about it*

Frankly I'm*

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