Haunted by Myself

[pattrny 1]

Got banded on 8/20. The newness of the experience and the great weight loss (how-could-it not-be) under the post op week of liquids, had me inspired. Week two, I am slowing down in loss and adding Protein Shakes, etc. I became anxious for some type of texture so I ate some croutons and a pinch of dry Cereal all on the "down-low", unseen, unreported. But there it was:hungry: the ghost of my old life waiting to be fueled by secret eating and the rest. Mind you, the calories I consumed were of little consequence. Perhaps I had 200 calories over the course of the week. But it was the realization of more work to be done that frightened me. Thank you for allowing me to say this out loud. I see an adventure ahead. I think that is the best way for me to look at it right now. Anyone had similar?

[TracyinKS 7]

Don't beat yourself up.. you are now entering the first level of Bandster Hell! The time after surgery and before your first fill.. where you are getting hungry and CAN eat. Settle in for the ride, because you are on the banded side of life now...

Congrats on your band!

[TerriDoodle 6]

Old habits are not going to be broken overnight just because you WILL them to go away! We are talking about the most instinctive part of your brain...the one that ensures your survival without your conscious effort... this part of your brain is HARD wired by 55 years of building neural pathways that help dictate the way you eat to ensure your survival. Asking that part of your brain to change will be met with the strongest of resistance, hence the 'cheating'. A good way to combat this (build new neural pathways) is to focus on the positive things. Reward yourself (or at least recognize that you've done well) when you DO follow a healthy eating plan, get your exercise, drink all your Water, etc.

See what I mean?

Baby steps!!

[pattrny 1]

It really is a new life isn't it? I'll practice looking forward! Thanks!

[EL1 0]

Don't think it is that odd to want some texture. Don't beat yourself up.

[TheGh0st 9]

A friend of my use to always complain why they hadn't just banded her head instead of her stomach.

I agree with El1 - Don't beat yourself up about what you ate.

As well as with Tracy & Terri - The band just helps your body not yo-yo up as you battle with your head.

[SkinnyMartini 0]

I am so relieved that someone else has had the same fear! I also have felt myself slipping towards my old ways. No-one notices but me and afterwards the guilt is terrible. Am going for my first fill which I hope will help. At the moment I can eat anything - everything is going done fine and I am hungry - which is so frustrating.

[Sooverit! 1]

Hi Terry: Your response to Pattrny was so interested and gave me a lot to think about. I have studied A&P and I think I will get out my old books and look into this. I am curious as to how long it takes at my age (48) to change or add a new pathway. Thanks for the brainjuice! I have terrible eating habits that I've tried to break many times but always went back to the hardwired and I'm hoping the lapband will decrease my appetite enough to make it easier. I do know some people who get banded on that "nerve" that Dr. Oz calls produces "gremlin" -? and get instant restriction even without a fill. I'm learning here tho that that is very rare I suppose?

[Sooverit! 1]

I know when I am in an exercise routine and excited about getting up in the morning to go to the gym or take a long beautiful walk/run in nature, my hardwired old eating for pleasure habits go into "remission" and I find it easy to eat healthy when my body is in a healthy state. It's usually winter that rolls along and kicks me back into bad habits and I end up eating stew and roasting marshmellows by the fire. Wonder if the band will prevent that a bit?

[TerriDoodle 6]

Sooverit- Re-reading my own post helped remind me of a few things, too. I feel like I have "learned to like" healthy foods over the last few years. Maybe those neural pathways are starting to build. Especially since being banded, when I'm eating something healthy and nutritious I have learned to savor each bite and find joy in the taste of blueberries, or the crunch of asparagus, or the juiciness of watermelon. When I eat something fatty and rich I still enjoy it (!) but I do note that it's feeling heavy on my stomach and slows me down. Make sense? This progress, however, has not migrated to my taste for sweets! But I have learned to be satisfied with a 100 calorie pack of Oreo crisps or a SF fudgsicle. I relish the feeling of eating a healthy and tasty meal and feeling completely satisfied and happy that I am doing the right thing for me....and that the results will come with time.

So perhaps I have learned a bit about rewarding myself for eating well. My reward is in the positive feelings I have (or rather the lack of negative ones) and that keeps me motivated to some degree. I have made quite an effort not to whine TOO much when I've stalled and I am in the middle of a doozy right now. Whining is negative. Every healthy meal is a positive step toward making all my meals that way. I'm certainly not "there" yet but I do think i'm making progress...and it's taken years. Oh well, what else can I do?

The science behind what I am talking about is best explained in the movie [ame=http://www.amazon.com/What-Bleep-Do-We-Know/dp/B0006UEVQ8/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-1447247-8529551?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1192190964&sr=1-1]"What the Bleep Do We Know"[/ame] and the book [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Bleep-Definitive-Unauthorized-Guide/dp/1932857222/ref=pd_sim_d_shvl_title_2/104-1447247-8529551]"Beyond the Bleep[/ame]". It goes way beyond A&P and into quantum mechanics and the power of the mind to shape perception and create reality. Heavy, heavy stuff....but very interesting.