When do you delete your online dating profile?

[Christinamo7 4,042]

@@LowBMISleever YES. keep working on yourself and become the kind of person who would attract what you want.

my first marriage was fine - we loved each other and if he hadn't changed (after going to war) I think we would have had a very comfortable, life long marriage. it was not fireworks but we grew up together, we were happy and wanted the same kind of lifestyle.

this time? fireworks. we have some sort of crazy chemistry. and love very deeply but it is a lot more drama 20 years,

neither was wrong, and you can be happy with love coming on gangbusters or love coming on slowly.

don't be in a hurry, take your time, and it is fine to date just one person at a time. if they are not ready to be exclusive then I wouldn't pressure them, but if one person at a time works for you there is NOTHING wrong with that. learning honest communication is the key.

wishing you all the best.

[Jobey 177]

Yay, I asked him about it last night and he apologised and told me he wanted us to be a couple and gave me a key to his place [emoji4] There are still actually good guys out there [emoji4]

[SleeveSoon 191]

@@Jobey Congratulations on finding a good guy.

Unfortunately my dating experience is heading in the opposite direction. The woman I have been seeing and was willing to be exclusive with is not available Saturday night (again due to family commitments). I unhid my profile on POF and now have a date with someone else Saturday night. This new one is single with no kids, has a similar taste in music, is much younger, and is willing to go out with me on a Saturday night. The sleeve has given me options I didn't have before.

[Icantbelieveit 955]

Friday and Saturday night is primetime. If you keep getting bumped, bump yourself to someone that will make time to see you.

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[emme.vee 142]

Every person I met on line turned out to be psychotic. I always laughed at people when they said that and then it happened to me! I even married and spent 12 years with one person. He led two lives and the things he did behind my back are unspeakable. Be careful! The other people, one was C-R-A-Z-Y and the other was a coke head that used people just as much as she used coke lol. Never ever again! I met my girlfriend the good old fashioned way, at a gay Pride event lol.

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[SleeveSoon 191]

Friday and Saturday night is primetime. If you keep getting bumped, bump yourself to someone that will make time to see you.

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

I completely agree that Saturday night is primetime and I need to be with someone who will make the time to see me. I have a lot of friends, interests, and hobbies that keep me pretty busy, but Saturday nights without a date are what drove me to online dating to begin with. It only took a few messages on POF this morning to line up a date with someone new this Saturday.

The woman that I have been seeing is coming over Sunday for dinner. Hope to find out what her take is on making an attempt to be available.

[gowalking 10,790]

Apologizing in advance for the length of this post but here goes my 'deleting my online profile' story:

So...I met a guy on Zoosk in the spring of 2015. No attraction on my part, and every time we went out, I said to myself that I would end it. Problem was...I really enjoyed spending time with him. Eventually we did become a couple and I hid my profile rather than delete it. Glad I did because after nine months of dating, he blindsided me and dumped me. We were not in love and I'm fairly certain in time, the relationship would have limped along till one of us made the move to end it. But because I wasn't prepared, it hit me like a ton of bricks and brought up all kinds of rejection issues for me and well.....you ladies know how this part goes...what did I do wrong?, why was I not good enough?, yada yada yada.

What I did know when the relationship was over, was that I wanted to be with someone so crying hysterically, I resubscribed back onto Zoosk and JDate, which I had also shut down but not deleted my profile from.

To my complete surprise, I met a man on JDate in June and we have been having a great time together. This relationship is nothing like with the other guy. This new one and I have so much in common and we enjoy talking about all kinds of things and doing so many of the same things. I wrote on another thread that he might be the lid to my pot and so far, it's going gangbusters.

I know he deleted his profile from both Match and JDate a few weeks ago and knew that I had not. It wasn't that I was dating anyone else...I just wasn't ready to shut it down again. Last night I went onto Zoosk because I was getting email notifications from them and on a whim, went onto the site. Just for the heck of it, I looked up former boyfriend's profile...which he had not reactivated when I first went back onto Zoosk..and sure enough, he popped up this time. I looked at his profile..his new profile by the way...and the updated pictures on it. And that's when I knew...time to shut down my profile. It's not that I don't hope he finds someone...I'm not that petty. I just know more than ever now, that he's my past, and it's time to focus on my future..and with this new man in particular.

Now...if I could just figure out how I managed to send old boyfriend a friggin' friend request on FB, it would be great. I swear I have no idea how I did that, but I did. I can't unfriend him now...not after sending that request...even by accident. Oh..and why he accepted that request is beyond me. But if I'm lucky, he'll see the pictures of me and the new guy, and delete me from his feed...

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Ughhh. I could use dating advice too. And I don't belong giving any dating advice, so I can't help you lol. Sorry to hijack your post, but I'd love some input on my situation! I've been on 4 dates with a nice guy that I'm not really attracted to - met on match. Why? Well, my ex was smoking hot, with a burning temper. The attraction couldn't have been more, we loved each other, but he had anger and control issues (like I'm walking on egg shells to make sure he doesn't erupt...and no one I know - friends, my parents - are ever allowed over)... So, I moved out 4 months ago, saw a therapist 3 times to figure out why I basically had Stockholm syndrome, got sleeved, lost 30 lbs, and got back out there about 3 weeks ago. Back to online dating: I can't date more than one person at a time. Is that weird? Just feels wrong. Anyway, this guy couldn't be nicer, is okay looking, treats me wonderfully, and there aren't any red flags. My question to everyone: were you head over heels attracted to your significant other? Or did love come later? I've always been the former, and it never seems to work out (mostly bc I'm attracted to controlling types). Do you think there's a chance I'll never REALLY be attracted to anyone who is actually healthy for me?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Dating is a nicer word for interviewing and auditioning. Don't settle. BTW, to help you figure out some of the chemistry of attraction, you might want to look at this article: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17934-has-the-pill-changed-the-rules-of-sexual-attraction/

I find it fascinating just how important how a guy smells is to a woman. (I'm not talking about the extremes of body odor or too much perfume). Marriages can end when a women gets off the pill and their guy smell different. It's that powerful of a driver.

[SalOdyssey 441]

Apologizing in advance for the length of this post but here goes my 'deleting my online profile' story:

So...I met a guy on Zoosk in the spring of 2015. No attraction on my part, and every time we went out, I said to myself that I would end it. Problem was...I really enjoyed spending time with him. Eventually we did become a couple and I hid my profile rather than delete it. Glad I did because after nine months of dating, he blindsided me and dumped me. We were not in love and I'm fairly certain in time, the relationship would have limped along till one of us made the move to end it. But because I wasn't prepared, it hit me like a ton of bricks and brought up all kinds of rejection issues for me and well.....you ladies know how this part goes...what did I do wrong?, why was I not good enough?, yada yada yada.

What I did know when the relationship was over, was that I wanted to be with someone so crying hysterically, I resubscribed back onto Zoosk and JDate, which I had also shut down but not deleted my profile from.

To my complete surprise, I met a man on JDate in June and we have been having a great time together. This relationship is nothing like with the other guy. This new one and I have so much in common and we enjoy talking about all kinds of things and doing so many of the same things. I wrote on another thread that he might be the lid to my pot and so far, it's going gangbusters.

I know he deleted his profile from both Match and JDate a few weeks ago and knew that I had not. It wasn't that I was dating anyone else...I just wasn't ready to shut it down again. Last night I went onto Zoosk because I was getting email notifications from them and on a whim, went onto the site. Just for the heck of it, I looked up former boyfriend's profile...which he had not reactivated when I first went back onto Zoosk..and sure enough, he popped up this time. I looked at his profile..his new profile by the way...and the updated pictures on it. And that's when I knew...time to shut down my profile. It's not that I don't hope he finds someone...I'm not that petty. I just know more than ever now, that he's my past, and it's time to focus on my future..and with this new man in particular.

Now...if I could just figure out how I managed to send old boyfriend a friggin' friend request on FB, it would be great. I swear I have no idea how I did that, but I did. I can't unfriend him now...not after sending that request...even by accident. Oh..and why he accepted that request is beyond me. But if I'm lucky, he'll see the pictures of me and the new guy, and delete me from his feed...

At the top of FB you have the 3 icons, notifications, messages, and then the people/friend icon. Click on that and the drop down will populate. Go to see all or show all. It will bring you to another page. You should see something that see see sent request. Then you can go to his and cancel the request @gowalking. That should work.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I agree with Cowgirl Jane. I wasted a bunch of time on this guy and he was very nice and treated me like a queen.

Then all of his weirdness came out. He wouldn't shop in any store other than

costco. It was a phobia of his. Then I learned about a bunch more phobias which were all completely nuts, and I had to end it. I wasted my entire summer, thinking they were one time issues, until finally realized he wasn't "different." He was crazy.