Disallusioned

[*JASMINE* 1]

I was banded in 2005. I was very successfull in my weightloss. I went from 220 to 135. I counted calories and went running twice a week. I suffered a knee injury from running about a year ago and have been going downhill ever since.

I am now up to 156lbs. I know to most it still seems like a good weight. But I find myself so depressed about my recent weight gain. I thought I had it all under control. I have been eating nothing but crap recently, which is why I am where I am. It's like a switch in my head went off and I can't switch it back on again.

I had a recent fill, which resulted in a small unfill because it hurt just to get Water down, and I am back to where I started. I can still eat anything. I can't rely on the full feeling because I feel like it is unobtainable. I have to rely on counting calories.

I find myself so envious of people who can only eat 800 calories per day and people who were able to get RNY.

Mentally, I feel like I am at square one. I have realized that this will always be a huge battle for me. For the first year, I was on cloud nine. But now, I realize that there will never be a cure for the eating issues that I have.

It makes me realize that maybe we are treating our eating issues the wrong way. Maybe we should be getting therapy instead of weight loss surgery. Anyone ever feel like this?

Disclaimer: No I am not knocking lap band surgery. I am just trying to work through the mental issues most of us are suffering from...how about a section for doing the head work?

[smiseel 0]

!<p>I've felt this way many times. I've also had therapy 2x regarding the weight issue - it doesn't really help for long term weight results. I'm new to banding and have not gotten my first fill yet due to infection, but I was very well aware that surgery is only part of the solution. Two members of my family have vertical banded gastroplasty (the old banding operation) both are in Weight Watchers for 3 years and both stay in the gym (I do the same). One is at an ideal weight, the other is not. The WW helps because it's an anchor to knowing that what we really need is a healthy lifestyle. Another family member had the bypass with the duodonal switch. Initially she lost 150 lbs but has gained back more than 60. She thinks the doctor did something wrong. I think perhaps she relied on the procedure itself to take away her problem.</p> <p> All of us know the pain of eating the wrong thing and beating ourselves up after doing it. One thing I learned is that when I can't seem to stop myself from eating junk, I ask myself "What CAN I do today?" If it's only drink 8 glasses of Water or not eat after 9pm, I will do it. I find this "can method" to often get me on track again. For the past 3 years I have been kind enough to myself to lose 40 lbs in Weight Watchers, although that is a drop in the bucket. I felt I needed something more. I'm feeling very down because of the infection and pinching in the area of the port. So for today the thing I can do is make sure that most, if not all, of what I eat is healthy and keep in mind that things that go wrong are only a bump in the road of my life. I remember that no matter how far down the wrong path I go I can always turn back. So, for me, I guess that not one single method works, but a combination approach is best and to be expected. </p> <p>Smile and take care of yourself today. Tomorrow things will look brighter. As far as exercise, I'm disabled and have a very hard time walking, so I do swimming. Get out the snorkel!</p> <p>Jane</p></p>

[mcreatiev 0]

this is problem with the lap band. gastric by pass you have no choice but to lose weight

[fabfatgrl 10]

RNYers suffer from regain and head hunger, too. Just go to an WLS Graduates boards and look at all of the RNYers posting about regain. Some end up even larger than they were before surgery. Regain after the honeymoon period is not a phenomenon unique to the Band. You hear RNYers saying..."Oh...I should have had the DS."

I've always had to count points and exercise to achieve weight loss with the Band. But the gigantic difference is that I can do this with my BAnd.... I can stick to my points range... where before Banding, I was starving.

Don't worry, you're not alone

[*JASMINE* 1]

Thank you guys so much for responding. I'm sorry it took so long to respond to your replies. I've been so busy the past few days.

I decided to start walking every day. I also decided to stop weighing myself and just go with how my clothes feel on me. I haven't weighed in a whole week. I am so proud of myself for that. I have to say that life is a little bit less stressful when I don't weigh myself.

So I just wanted to thank you three for taking the time to respond and let me know that I am not alone in my struggle. I really appreciate your heartfelt response:).

I'm just taking it one day at a time now.

[peggy1011 0]

Hi Jasmine...

I too have had fluctuating feelings. Immediately after getting the band I couldnt stop thinking "what have I done to myself?" I've since taken it day by day. Some days are better, some days are bad, but all in all I KNOW i'm in the right direction. I'm trying to focus on walking 2 miles a day, and NOT weighing myself daily....weekly instead. Judging by the way my clothes fit is a whole lot more complimentary to my inner self than a number on the scale.

You're definitely headed in the right direction....Good for you!!!!!! :eek:

Peggy

[Kat225 2]

I have not been banded yet and what Jasmine is going through is my biggest fear. I am afraid of getting the band and still not being able to control my eating. I know there is no end to this struggle we all face with weight issues but I was hoping for something to make it easier to take off and maintain. Does anyone have any regrets?

[peggy1011 0]

Kat,

Believe me, I have NO regrets. Having the band isn't an instant cure all, and it does require a new way of eating and thinking. But I am feeling better day by day, and feeling stronger and very proud of myself at my success so far. I had some mixed feelings initially, but I now attribute them to the immediate postop period. Would I do it all over again? You bet I would!!!!!

[fabfatgrl 10]

I have not been banded yet and what Jasmine is going through is my biggest fear. I am afraid of getting the band and still not being able to control my eating. I know there is no end to this struggle we all face with weight issues but I was hoping for something to make it easier to take off and maintain. Does anyone have any regrets?

The Band does make it easier. Y'know how dumping is built-in compliance for the first year or so with RNYers?? Well, with the Band, you have the PB and sliming. I love sweets. I love ice cream. I never went low carb with my

Band... I just ate better foods and smaller portions. I said good-bye to "dieting." I had never ever lost more than 20 pounds on any diet...and I had done them all. But I did lose with the Band. About 50 pounds the first year... and 95 pounds by 18 months. I've kept off 50 of those pounds through three pregnancies and with no fills.

The Band definitely makes it easier to take off weight... whether you follow a diet (low-carb, Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, etc.)... or not.

I wish the Band had been available earlier, so I could have had it when I was only 50 pounds overweight rather than 150.

Even though I'm looking at a VSG revision, I don't regret having the Band when I did. Without it, I never would have gotten married and had three beautiful healthy children. My only regret is that my Band no longer works for me... although I'm meeting with one final surgeon to try and resolve that.

I will say that the band, like all WLS, is a tool. The tool does a lot of the work in the beginning... but as you get further out from surgery, you need to do more work. So, you will need to exercise forever... in order to keep off weight. You will need to make healthy choices... both about food and fill-level (not too much, not too little)... etc.

[S@ssen@ch 745]

I went through a period, at about 8 months post banding where I was really upset......."I'm going to have to diet for the rest of my F-ing life!"

I didn't have this surgery to diet. I wanted to change myself, my lifestyle, lose weight and get healthy. When I found myself simply trying to follow a diet, I got really depressed and angry with myself. SOOOOOooo, I did exactly what I had originally set out to do. I read up on healthy eating and started with that. I changed my "diet" by slowly adding healthier items and schedules into my daily routine to make them part of who I am. THEN, I started adding activity to my daily life. I started slowly, walking every day then I started exercising two or 3 times a week with a type of exercise that I really love. And ya know what? It is now who I am. It's not a diet. It's not some regime that I follow to lose weight. It's ME. It makes me feel good whether I lose weight or not. I am healthier, I stand more erect, I have more energy. I feel good in my clothes and I have the confidence to start my day every day with my best foot forward.

I hope that all of you can find your path in this wonderful journey to better health.

[Rottenbeauty 0]

One thing i will mention is the weighing of yourself.

Don't beat yourself up about the weight, focus on being healthy.

I don't even own a pair of scales. The only time I weight myself is when I go see me mother. About once a month, once every 2 months.

Focusing on that is only going to make you disappointed in yourself, which you really don't need.

[Iulizbug 0]

I agree about weighing yourself--it can be destructive but for some its necessary. If I don't weigh myself regularly I can gain 10-20 lbs in a blink of an eye. I had my surgery a year and a half ago and after 7 mos had lost 85 lbs. I thought that my problems with weight were over...I was 5 lbs below goal and feeling fantastic. After a constant battle with my fills I found myself struggling to maintain whereas beforehand for months it was easy. I am now 5 lbs heavier and EVERY DAY is a struggle not to gain more. This will never be easy and I will have to work at it every day. I work out 6 X a week and eat healthy, as I have done since being banded. All we can do is try regardless of what type of surgery we had. I have several friends who had the bypass who have re-gained a whole lot more than 5lbs so I know it happens to everybody with a weight challenge. Hopefully I won't gain anymore weight. I know w/out a band I would be a whole lot heavier so I can be thankful for my tool.

~Liz~

03/10/06

241/161/160

5'8''

[WildCat Mom 1]

Jasmine,

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. I have just been banded one week. But, I know the stuggles of wt loss and wt gain and the emotional and mental roller coaster. I starve myself and feel the loss and it feels good and then I slip up and eat something and feel so full and disguted with myself and feel huge. I am not where you are, but I will give you this peace of advice. You gained a little wt back, so what. Get a hold on it now before you gain IT ALL back. Weigh regularly to keep yourself on track. Chew until you are bored of chewing and you will get full quicker or just tired of eating. Use smaller plates so the portions seem larger. Don't give up. You have not lost the battle, you have just strayed a little. Therapy is a good idea. That is why my husband and I have both had the operation to be a mental support for each other. Several of my coworkers have also had this operation and we cheer each other on. Your church family and your kin family are great sources of support. You just need a little encouragement. You can do this. Don't give up. You are a success story. You are worth the work and maintenance it takes to take care of you. Hang in there. You know there are a lot of us banders out there. Just send us a note and we will be there to help.

[WildCat Mom 1]

Why does the band no longer work for you? I know that this surgery is a tool and I plan to work with it. I can follow any diet, it was just my hunger that was killing me. I don't have that hunger constantly nagging me anymore (of course it has only been a week), but I don't want to think that 6 yrs down the road this is gonna quit working for me. What went wrong with yours?

[cyndilou29 0]

The problem I have is that the band takes care of physical hunger but who here has physical hunger? The emotional hunger NEVER goes away. I'm almost 4 months out and for a while, I really thought this would be my "savior". It's not. It helps remind me when I don't eat well that I need to do better tomorrow - that's all. I still have to make the choices, I still need to exercise. I went into this somewhat thinking that it would be easy, even though I truly knew better. Nothing that's good in life comes easy. I have been at the same weight for 8 weeks and I just recently said "this is ridiculous" and started to DO something about it. The first 8 weeks, the weight MELTED off. I didn't even have to try. Now, I have to try. I write down everything I eat again and I'm back on track. I want to be thinner and healthy and I'll get there. You will too. You just have to work at it.