I just feel like crying...

[babsyintx 0]

Hi Everyone,

I am having a miserable time with everything in my life EXCEPT weight loss. Just feel like I want to vent:

I am losing so much hair. Globs falling out daily. I will be bald by Christmas at this rate. Actually, I have been losing hair since I was banded 17 months ago. They tested my blood a few months ago and said I was really healthy and do not have Vitamin deficiencies. I'm taking Vitamins but I think it is the stress thats doing me in.

My business is tanking. I lost 7 deals over the last 3 weeks and I have no income coming in over the next 8 weeks. Very depressing.

My inlaws are not doing well. Went to FL and my father in law (who has Parkinsons) is falling down regularly and my mother in law needs back surgery. She can no longer take care of him, but they refuse to see the logic of coming here to TX. Cant help them now.

My relationship is still vicarious. My husband is a great guy, but he has a major ADD issue and started taking meds about three weeks ago. I am still waiting for them to start working. He forgets everything and it really affects our relationship since i have to remind him of everything all the time. The medicine is making him moody as well, so thats another issue. I really cant get the support I need there and have so little to offer him since I am emotionally and physically drained.

My house is for sale and it hasnt sold in 6 months. Got a new realtor who informed us the value has decreased by 25K in the last 6 months as well due to Delta layoffs and excess inventory in our price range. We are buidling a new house closer to my son's school which is 35 miles each way everyday. Total 75 miles and costing us 2 hours a day in travel.

I keep trying to tell myself I have my health, my children are healthy and we have a roof over our head and food on our table, but all I feel is doom and gloom about our financial future. I feel like I dont have anyone to talk to and I even stopped seeing my therapist a few weeks ago. I stopped going to the gym. i am pretty old school about meds. I dont want to take an antidepressant (never have) but a bottle of wine is looking good right now...

I need some stress relief and the nacho chips are calling me..... I have never used food for emotional reasons, (I was just a volume eater) but I can now see how this could happen to someone if they got really depressed. I am tired of always having to be the strong person in my relationship and I am spreading myself too thin now with the extra holiday stress as well.

OK, I purged...... Thanks for listening.

Babs in TX

334/189/170

-145

6/23/03

[HarleyNana 10]

Babs, I'm so sorry to hear you're having so many trials and tribulations at one time. It sounds like you're really being challenged right now. I know what you mean about the meds, my doc tried to send me home with percosets today, but I opted for darvocets (sp), because I don't like to take meds at all. They make some pretty low dose anti's now and if it would help cope with your situation, it may be in your favor to try one.

As for the hair loss, my daughte in law's mom takes propecia (sp) because she has been thinning and she's not a bander, just a very small person.

Take care and don't let these milestones undo what you've worked so hard to accomplish. If it takes a few meds to get your through this, then go for it, be glad there's something out there to help you through this, plus you've got all of us @ LBT.

[blossom 2]

Babs, I'm so sorry you're having a bad stretch. Sounds like everything has really put a load on your shoulders. We all go through times like this, and it doesn't help when it happens during the holiday season. I have learned from my own bad stretches to just wait it out and try to focus on the good things. All this dreary rain we've had recently probably isn't helping either. Its finally a beautiful day, why not try a brisk outdoor walk to help put things in perspective?

[Iluvharleys 15]

Babs - Sorry you are having so many problems at one time. Maybe things will get better once your hubby gets use to his meds.

Just a quick question for you, are you getting enough oil in your diet? I had a neighbor that went on a very low fat diet, and her hair started falling out. None of her doctors knew why, so she came over and asked me. I was going to beautician school at the time, and the only thing I could think of was she wasn't getting enough fat into her system. She added the fats back in and her hair all grew back. I know a lot of times when we are dieting, oils/fats are the first thing we try to eliminate and it isn't always the best. Our bodies need oils to function properly.

Good luck, I hope things do get better for you.

Hugs to you!

[shellyj 5]

hey babs,

wow you have so much on your plate right now. i can understand why your so stressed. i hope your hubbies meds do kick in soon.

why not check with another real estate agent and see what they say. i know the winter months are not a good time to sell. sellers get desperate to sell and take less than their house is worth.

i am glad you got this off your chest i am sure just saying (typing) helped some. you know we are always here for you.

the only real advice i have for you is to take care of yourself FIRST. in order to do a good job at all your other jobs (wife, mother, job, daughter, etc) then you have to fully rested and have a good mindset. if a glass of wine (or 3) makes you forget about the day for a few mintutes the CHEERS (as long as its once in a while of course)

on a side note i was gonna email you about january: JUST SAY THE WORD!!! i will drive down to knoxville if need be!

i dont know how busy you are but i get a break in about 30 minutes and i'm gonna give you a call!

LOVE AND HUGS!!!!!

michelle

[Hope4Jen 0]

Babs,

I am sorry about all of this. Please take care of yourself.

[DeLarla 22]

Hey Doll Face, I don't have much advice, but I want you to know that it's OKAY to feel all that gloom and doom once in awhile. I get tired of acting like Mary Sunshine every single day when things just keep falling apart, and sometimes a good whining/bitching/crying session is just what the doctor ordered. Nothing that you mentioned will kill you, but it's a huge load for such a little gal. We are human so being angry, tired, frustrated, exhausted, etc., is normal. I'm glad you have a place to share it all. As far as hubby's ADD, if he's really been taking the meds for 3 weeks then they might start working soon - takes awhile for that type of med to regulate the chemicals. My whole life was like that one time. I filled a glass of wine and smashed it at the wall. It scared the heck out of my roommate, but ya know what? It felt damn good. I could breathe after that. Now don't go smashing stuff, but maybe try screaming into a pillow. Showing emotions is a good thing.

[babsyintx 0]

Hi Guys,

Went to pick up my son and saw all these wonderful messages from my bandster buddies! Thanks.

Michelle: I am back in the office now. I will try to call you.

Lisa: You are right. Can I jump on a plane and hug you? Airfare is cheap to Vegas so I will be going again in the near future. Sometimes it is tiring being Mary Sunshine all the time. Especially when you are going bald! LOL

Betty, I get enough oil in my diet, so thats defintely not it. I was doing some research on the internet about hair loss. It is NOT related to stress at all according to the hairloss web sites. FOr women, Hair loss falls into three categories:

Female Androgenetic Alopecia

Female Telogen Effluvium

Female Alopecia Areata

I have ascertained that mine seems to come from the middle description which is tied to either hormones, nutritional, meds or systemic illness. They have outline what tests I should ask my doc to do to determine root cause! (double entendre there!)

I basically feel crappy and run down as well, so this is adding to my depression. I am sure that things are going to get better, but WHOO! The wind has been knocked out of my sails and I just feel drained.

Thanks for all the positive inspiration. It is appreciated.

Babs in TX

[Zoe 6]

Babs, with your amazing weight loss you're such an inspiration to all of us. What you are going through truly sucks. I hope that your doctor can give you a diagnosis re: hair loss so that you can work toward a solution.

Going through crappy times is hard any time, but especially rough this time of year, when everything around us is telling us to put on a happy face and Celebrate the wonders of family and financial abundance.

If you find yourself really stuck -- that is, immobile, hopeless, and despairing -- please consider talking to your doctor or another professional about treatment for depression, whether it's talking therapy, pharmaceuticals, or a combination of the two. I've been there. Anti-depressants aren't for everyone, and they aren't a quick fix either, but for some of us they are literally lifesavers. With luck, by the time you check this thread again, you will feel better. Please know that your friends in Bandland are rooting for you.

[DeLarla 22]

Babs, Chris and I were worried about covering all our bills, so we said SCREW IT and went gambling. Sometimes you just have to "go with it." Why cry when you can laugh, so get out your razor and shave your head! You can come here any time, I'll be happy to sit around and cry with you! Cry, hug, laugh, cry, hug, laugh. Does Rogaine work for any of the three hairloss problems? Does Rogaine work at all?

[hagerteresa 3]

Hi Babs,

I too am sorry about all your recent calamity. I know how it sucks when it happens. Been there/ done that/ I'm sure I'll be there again...LOL. My hair has been thinning a lot too since the lapbanding and it bugs me. My mom has thin hair anyway and mine has never been the thickest so just losing a little makes a big difference. Let us know how you solve that particular problem. I just had all my blood work done too a couple of weeks ago and everything looked perfect. I sure wish you the best and am sending you ciber hugs. XOXOXO Teresa

[babsyintx 0]

Hey Lisa,

Rogaine does work for the middle description, which means it would help me if to grow back new hair. But they need to find out what it causing it, so whatever happening will stop and the new hair can grow. I will have the blood drawn on THurs and I have a band adjustment scheduled for Friday, so we shall see how things go!!!

Babs in TX

[leatha_g 4]

Babs,

I'm really sorry things seem so tough all at once. Could your son go to a school closer to home? I'm with Zoe, some folks simply don't have the chemicals in their brains to fight the depression. If you were a diabetic, would you have a problem with insulin? All I know is if it were not for anti-depressants, I may not be alive today. I'm certain that if I were alive, I certainly would not be where I am today. The stigma attached to them is totally unwarranted. There is great strength in admitting and addressing our weakness. I really hope things turn around for you soon!

Leatha

[athykay 9]

Babs I feel for you. I had?? have?? Female Alopecia Areata. About 8 years ago I started losing my hair. It started with a couple small spots. They were very strange round bald spots, they grew and grew within 3 months I had lost almost all my hair. I only had a few Patches around my neck and on the sides. When it first started I went to my pcp and he told me that I had Alopecia, and that I could loose all of my body hair. He said there was no way of knowing if I would loose it all or not. That was about all that he said. 4 months later I saw another doctor he told me exactly what it was he said that you can tell by the roundness of the bald areas. He told me to buy a wig and my hair would be back in a year. Well he was right. But I was so devistated I think it was one of the hardest things that I have ever dealt with. I'll never forget going in to get sized for my wig. I cried all day, there was a lady there getting sized for hers. The owner could see that I was pretty upset and so she got me some tea, I told her what the doctor had said and she knew what I was talking about. She was very comforting, later she told me that the lady before me had cancer and wasn't expected to live much longer. She wanted to look her best no matter what. But to me she seemed to be as happy as could be getting a new wig. I felt so bad for being such a blubbering idot when she told me her story. She reasured me that it was ok, that my sadness was very much justified. It is not easy for any woman to loose their hair. Well I got my wig a week or so later, I wore it out one day and that was it, it sat in the closet. I never wore it again. I learned a very good lesson that day, I may loose my hair, but it could always be worse. Again I lost my hair a few years after that but only a few spots, nothing like the first time. I live with knowing that it may happen again at any time.

I hope that my story gives you some comfort. I had no one to talk with at that time that could relate to what I was feeling. It is a very strange emotional thing. I really do understand your pain. If you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you.

[babsyintx 0]

Hi Again:

Leatha: Thanks for the positive words. I am more afraid to take the anti depressants because of weight gain at this stage. Unfortunately, I can't change schools for my son. He is extremely gifted and the school he goes to is for kids at his IQ range. This is one of 8 schools in the country that handle what they call "duel exceptionality" which is gifted coupled with some other issues like ADD spectrum, emotional immaturity, social integration for the gifted etc... There are only 22 kids that his school and it is run by a doctor and his wife. They have what they call an 'autonomous learning model" which works well for kids like my son. Thats why we are selling the house and moving closer!

Theresa: I have found that blood tests dont mean anything to test for certain deficiencies. My blood tests came back normal months ago and I know I eat better now than I have before. I have a list here on my desk that outlines what kind of tests to ask for to make sure that they dont waste my time checking for the wrong things.

Atkay: Thanks. I am sure that I dont have Alopecia. I am not losing in Patches. (Thank God!). I believe my problem has to be hormonal or Vitamin related. I know it will grow back, but watching gobs fall out is scary. I am losing more in the front, but all over evenly. I still have hair and luckily my hair is very thick to start with. I am feeling a lot better today know that I am taking action!

Babs in TX

334/188/170

-146

6/23/03