I need help keeping this secret!

[missdeeAus 69]

I can promise you with this, you will only open up if truly feel comfortable. I tell my friends everything but not this. And even when I wanted to, I couldn't get the words out. Now I'm just telling people in the moment and if it feels right. Also since I feel so well, I'm so glad I didn't tell everyone. My main reason for wanting to share is cuz I was worried I might be really sick and out of sorts in which case you would have to tell but really I'm so fine so one notices I'm different just eating healthy.

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[juan110 87]

No i Didn't I told people as soon as I maid up my mind I told people if they couldn't support my decision than I didn't want to hear it im doing it for i can feel healthier and have energy to run with my kids and grandchildren and I share my whole experience with people if they wanted to know I feel so much better I'm six months out and 85 lbs down enjoy your new upcoming life do it for you

juan phone

[LadyDarkness415 41]

I told about a dozen people and of course my mom blabbed to a couple of people I didn't ask her to tell but I'm over it. I won't tell anyone unless I'm really sure they won't attack me and talk crap. Otherwise, nope. I'm usually pretty free with info but this is a whole other ballgame for me. Whatever you're comfy with is what you should do.

~~ LadyDarkness415 ~~

[LipstickLady 25,682]

It's not that I care what others think as much as I like sharing. Like PNWsleever says, it's exciting! I also value honesty, like I said it kinda bugs me that the one friend keeps it secret. I know it is her decision to make but I asked and she flat out lied. THAT is not my style, I share. Especially if the person asking would benefit from the info. So yep, pretty sure I will share after it is done, if people ask.

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So your love of sharing somehow negates my desire for privacy? It makes me dishonest? My WLS must now benefit others?

They didn't tell me anything about this in my bariatric seminars.

[rokel07 26]

I told everybody way before my May 18, 2016 surgery.. I didn't really care what others thought BTW MOST WERE SUPPORTIVE. There were a few that said just diet.. I said if that worked I'd be skinny now! LOL

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[laceemouse 631]

It's not that I care what others think as much as I like sharing. Like PNWsleever says, it's exciting! I also value honesty, like I said it kinda bugs me that the one friend keeps it secret. I know it is her decision to make but I asked and she flat out lied. THAT is not my style, I share. Especially if the person asking would benefit from the info. So yep, pretty sure I will share after it is done, if people ask.

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So your love of sharing somehow negates my desire for privacy? It makes me dishonest? My WLS must now benefit others?

They didn't tell me anything about this in my bariatric seminars.

Oh my gosh no, I understand people want privacy. This is just a personal issue between me and this one person I have a personal relationship with. I would LOVE to be able to ask her about HER surgery because I know her and trust her and, to me anyway, hearing directly from someone I have known for 10+ years what it was like, what her recovery was like, how she is feeling now, etc would mean a lot to me. So many people on this forum seem to have family and friends who have had WLS. Sure I can meet people now online and in a support group and ask them about their experiences but it isn't the same, to me anyway, as hearing it all from a friend. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I would never expect her, or anyone else, to broadcast her business to everyone if they don't want to. I would just love to discuss it with HER.

I started this basically to get a feeling for maybe how I would feel sharing with others IRL. I wanted to know what other people do. Just trying to decide what I will do. I am not judging anyone for sharing or not. I don't know any of you IRL.

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I told everybody way before my May 18, 2016 surgery.. I didn't really care what others thought BTW MOST WERE SUPPORTIVE. There were a few that said just diet.. I said if that worked I'd be skinny now! LOL

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Love this answer!!

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@laceemouse

Cool! Understandable, too.

The whole "you don't tell people so you're a liar" is a recurrent theme around these parts so I get a bit touchy about it at times.

Thanks for the 'splainin!

[laceemouse 631]

@@laceemouse

Cool! Understandable, too.

The whole "you don't tell people so you're a liar" is a recurrent theme around these parts so I get a bit touchy about it at times.

Thanks for the 'splainin!

Honestly, for me I would feel like I was lying, but that is just me. I wish I wasn't such a big mouth. Before going out to dinner with friends or a work function with my husband I will promise myself I won't talk too much but try to listen to others and let someone else have the spotlight. It never works, I just can't stand a lull in the conversation. Ugh.

Also gotta add, assuming I do get WLS and it works for me I will have a hard time not, I don't know how to put it, "evangelizing". Like we were at Disney World last week and I saw so many struggling with obesity. Just miserable. I felt bad for them

I gotta say, I love your posts. I love your moxie! And your story is so inspiring.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

I don't lie. I do watch what I eat, I follow a great diet (mostly), I work with a medical team and I move my body more. Nope, no lies there.

I don't need to talk about myself and I feel like my decision is very personal. I knew I was fat. I knew there were options. I'm not stupid. I didn't need anyone to offer alternate solutions to my problem because I knew they existed. Why in the world would I be so arrogant to offer MY solution to someone else who is just as capable as me?

I "evangelize" nothing. Not my business, not my WLS, not my political beliefs, not my spiritual beliefs. I've got a big mouth and a big personality but my belief set belongs only to me. I'm fairly certain no one else cares.

[laceemouse 631]

Oh believe me I would never say anything to anyone I didn't know as far as what they should do. Just back to my situation with me friend, I wish she had shared with me because I wasn't aware of the options out there. And I do need help, obviously, or I wouldn't be here. Still wish I could talk to her about it, but I am moving on.

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[laceemouse 631]

My friend, ugh, I don't know how to fix typos on this newish phone.

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[Babbs 14,681]

@@laceemouse

Just an FYI, because you'de said you have mostly thin friends...... I'm not sure others have found this to be true, but I found my thinner friends were the most supportive when I told them. The ones that usually were the most negative were my overweight/obese friends.

Weird, hu?

[roxy1975 3]

I wanted to join a couple Facebook groups but I don't want it showing up on my page. I have only talked to my family,boss and friends who have had it done. I told them I am going to "Star Jones" it.

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[Jen-2+1 131]

I told my husband and adult children. I also told my mother and siblings. I wish I had kept quiet about it now because I know some of them will talk.

When people ask me later I don't want them to think I am ashamed and only told the truth because they found out from someone else. I just think it is private. Now I don't know if I should just tell everyone.

[alighterkaan 128]

I made the decision to tell people once it was approved. My mom had surgery and kept it all a secret from us until the week before and honestly it made it worse because we weren't able to research it or anything on our own. It's definitely a personal decision. Just know that you're always going to have assholes out there that will shame you for it, but you'll be surprised how many people you didn't know that have had it. Either way, I'm excited for you and your family! You're going to feel like a whole new person <3