How do you look normal?

[BarefootDrummer 108]

Hello everyone. My surgery was 7/27. I'm still on the pureed stage and will be transitioning to the soft foods soon. I have not gone out to dinner and have not had a lot of meals around outsiders during the pre op and post op liquid diet stages. When I first started the preop diet, we were on a big family camping trip. I told them I was doing a new high Protein liquid cleanse type diet. They've all seen me do so many diets over the years, they didn't question it much. (BTW, I'm not telling most people about my surgery, as many of my family will be negative about it and I don't need that.)

Now I'm wondering how do you eat with others and look "normal" when you are on regular foods? I'm wondering if you take more on your plate than you are actually going to eat, so they don't really notice and push your leftovers around a bit and say how you'd just recently eaten or something? I know if I put a couple bites of each thing, it will definitely raise questions. I hate wasting food, and I also wonder if taking more than you can eat might push you to overeat. I don't want that either.

I don't want to tell the world about my surgery. It's my business, but I'm seeing as I'm moving forward that it seems like people will question my tiny quantities of food. When I tried mashed potatoes one day and oatmeal another, I only ate a few spoonfuls. Scooping out those amounts at a gathering, looks a little odd.

Any suggestions on how to blend in during those type situations?

[KristenLe 5,979]

I'm pre-op but I think we believe people pay more attention to what we are eating (or not eating) than they are. I would not put more on your plate - that would seem more noticeable and you could end up eating more than you should. If anyone questions what you are eating tell them you are eating healthy.

And - so many people have allergies, intolerance, preferences (vegetarian, gluten-free, no "white" foods), etc. that it's unusual to find anyone eating what would be considered "normal".

Edited August 23, 2016 by KristenLe

[Christinamo7 4,042]

it's really not too big of a deal anymore. at 6 months out my meals look pretty normal except I pass on the potato/pasta/rice/dessert part. no one else really pays any attention to how much or what I am eating. I have the meat, and any veg and enjoy the company. it takes me as long to eat that as it takes others to eat their larger amount. even though it is a small portion, there are a lot of people out there who do not eat a whole awful lot at a time.

if anyone were to comment I would probably just say "thank you, I've got exactly what I wanted - I'm happy with my meal" if they said it's not much, are you ok, I would just say yes, I'm perfectly happy with my meal.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@BarefootDrummer

The only people I have found that pay a lot of attention to what I eat are cheap men on dates.

Most people do not pay as much attention to what you eat as you think.

I get something that makes it easy to ignore I am not eating that much. salad with a Protein (chicken, steak) Eat all the meat, push the salad around. At a year out, I can eat a chicken Cesar salad almost the whole thing (depending how large) no issues (salad greens are a slider).

Order a sandwich, eat the meat cheese out, and tell people you are low carbing.

It is really pretty easy to do.

Just get an appetizer.

I didn't eat out with other people until about 3 months. By the time you are 6 months, you should be able to eat enough to really not draw attention to yourself. The amount of time you can only eat a tiny amount is pretty short, unless you have some kind of complication. At a year out, no one would question what I eat, I eat like a lady is supposed to.

Also not sure where you live, but going to Tapas places and sharing with friends is also great, everyone is eating a little of a lot of things no one will pay attention to what you are or aren't eating.

Lastly, as long as you ear Protein first, almost no one in America will ever say anything about you not eating your veggies, sadly.

[higher 966]

The only person who really pays attention to what I'm eating is my mom. I eat at restaurants 4-5 times a week socially and no one has noticed.

Like today for a work lunch, I ordered an octopus entree that came with about 5 small pieces of octopus, a piece of bread slathered in hummus and a side arugula salad. No one questions when you don't eat bread - plenty of people push aside the bread these days. I ate all the octopus and picked at the arugula. I eat so slow that by the time I was done the two men I was with had already polished off their half sandwiches and Soups and boom there was the waitress to take our plates away.

I think once or twice I've said something like "I don't want to eat anything too rich because I'm busy later" or
"I had a big lunch so I'm not that hungry" but probably more out of my own self-consciousness than any external prompting.

At 3 weeks out I was on a trip with friends and ate 3 meals a day with them - seriously no one noticed. They just thought I was dieting, which everyone does sometimes.

[higher 966]

I'm pre-op but I think we believe people pay more attention to what we are eating (or not eating) than they are. I would not put more on your plate - that would seem more noticeable and you could end up eating more than you should. If anyone questions what you are eating tell them you are eating healthy.

And - so many people have allergies, intolerance, preferences (vegetarian, gluten-free, no "white" foods), etc. that it's unusual to find anyone eating what would be considered "normal".

So true. If you are like me and you live in a big city, hang out with lots of other young professionals everryonnnnnne is in the midst of some kind of a food thing. I can be like "Oh, I'm on a shellfish and dragonfruit cleanse, I heard Gwyneth does it" and literally no one would blink.

[chycky 671]

I am 8 weeks out and I just order and eat what I can or take some to go. Not really been a big deal. It feels like it will be an issue before you get used to it. Once you do it just saying I am eating low carb and let them give you glass of Water that you don't touch it is pretty much normal.

[daniotra 298]

If you are able to take the leftovers home, ask for a box at the beginning or see if they will automatically put half of it into a box for you. Then just eat what you want of what is left on your plate.

It's also perfectly OK to just order an app or cup of Soup. My husband wanted to go to a place that served some fancy burgers, so I just ordered the patty that came on the lamb burger. I ate about half of it, it was fabulous, and only $6.

I split things with my kids frequently too. (By split, I mean I steal a chicken tender or two). Our restaurant bills are 1/2 to 2/3 of what they used to be when we go out, so I tip extra.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[daniotra 298]

We are taking my FIL out to Joe's Crab Shack for his birthday tomorrow. I used to eat a whole crab pot on my own. I'm planning on just asking for an extra cluster of crab to be added on to someone else's meal. All I want are some crab legs.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App