Need help with this decision

[thiswaywardgirl 3]

Hi guys,

I'm all the way in Australia and have been living here for a year already.I'm scheduled to have my sleeve this September and I'm really struggling as to whether I need to postpone it or do it on the due date.I'm doing this by myself and have scheduled ongoing help with the psychiatrist and psychologist (I have depression and anxiety).I also have a very stressful job and so the due date was set around school holidays as well.

I would appreciate any advice you can offer,I'm very confused with all this and my mother back home in South Africa is against my due date.

Thank you!

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[Valentina 2,642]

So, Friend, what are the deciding factors?

Why would you postpone your surgery?

I'll help if I can. If I can't I'm positive that there is some member who will be able to.

--just need a wee bit more info, please.

We're here and we're listening.

[thiswaywardgirl 3]

Thank you for being there,I appreciate it very much.

Postponing is based on my emotional state,I am struggling on my diet and have some really sad days.It's been very hard to stay on track,but,I know that everyone on this journey faces hurdles where sometimes they're not faithful to the diet plans.I think my anxiety is the main culprit,but my doc is on top of it regarding meds and psychological help.

I'm just scared that I will be really out of my depth.

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[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@thiswaywardgirl, I'm not clear on the connection between your job and school holidays. My main question, though, is what difference would there be should you postpone surgery? If nothing would change appreciably, what would you gain by postponing?

(A minor point, a curiosity, if you will. Most BariatricPal users are American. It's a group to whom "due date" means the date one is expecting to give birth.)

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@thiswaywardgirl, we were typing at the same time and now I see that your concern is your emotional status. My question still holds: How can you know if you will be in better shape at one time than another? Have you discussed postponing with the psychiatrist and psychologist?

[thiswaywardgirl 3]

Hahaha,oh my gosh...not,due date....noooo

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[thiswaywardgirl 3]

I work for a really popular adult-learning college.They are really strict about time taken off,it's not impossible to do but it will really be taken as a total inconvenience to them.I've chosen the surgery date to accommodate the recovery period as two weeks off from the college would be difficult.

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[Valentina 2,642]

Have you discussed your concerns, depth of anxiety, fears and depression honestly with your therapists? What are their opinions ? Do they think you should wait until you are more "comfortable"?

You're right. WLS is not easy. It is a physical and emotional rollercoaster from the get-go.

My suggestion? I would have a serious sit down with your entire bariatric team and "round robin" the pros and cons. Together, you should be able to answer your concerns.

I wish you nothing but the best and for you to be "at peace" with whatever decision you come to.

Please post and post often. I am looking forward to following your successful WLS journey.--whenever it happens.

You're in my thoughts, Friend.

[thiswaywardgirl 3]

I can see your point about postponing,I think my family back home are very scared for me because they're not there to take care of me after the operation.They are suggesting I need to get rid of all my issues before surgery.I don't know if that is realistic or not?

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Thank you Valentina,you are awesome!

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[sheila2016 22]

PRAY AND ASK FOR GUIDANCE

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[thiswaywardgirl 3]

I am praying all the time for guidence and protection,my family is too. ????

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[TracyBar 132]

A healthy mental state would be the preferred situation for surgery. I would make an appt with your psyche team and really speak truthfully about your feelings right now - holding back won't help you a bit. Best of luck!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@thiswaywardgirl

"...my family back home are very scared for me because they're not there to take care of me after the operation.They are suggesting I need to get rid of all my issues before surgery.I don't know if that is realistic or not?"

As someone who has clinical depression, I understand that neither it nor anxiety are ever really "gotten rid of." They may ebb and flow and, when things are looking sunny, they are being managed with treatment, usually including meds. Being able to function well is a triumph and, I think, a sign to proceed with what one wants. If you're stable, you're good. Your family's love may be the basis of their naive notion that your "issues" will evaporate. To wait for that day may mean waiting, waiting, waiting....

I suggest that you go over the questions on your own and then with the psychiatrist & psychologist. Among other things, I'd ask myself if I am stable and managing my life satisfactorily; if I am committed to losing weight and willing and capable of making the changes necessary to do it. I'd review each component of the changes rather than making the question too broad and vague. Am I ready and willing to give up potato crisps? Buckets of ice cream in front of the television? Plan my meals and grocery-shop for maximum nutrition and lowest calories? Etc., etc, so on and so forth.

You might also start a running list of reasons you want to lose weight, everything that occurs to you. No reason is minor or vain. It's fun and satisfying to check reasons off as they're accomplished. It's also interesting to see how goals evolve as you go along. The most fortunate person is the one who can endlessly add new goals to the list.

Pray as is your custom. At the same time, stay aware that the subject at hand is very much a matter of self-awareness and personal responsibility. We lose weight by making choices and enacting them. It's that simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple indeed.

Edited August 21, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[ella37 455]

Just my personal experiences as someone with long time and severe anxiety issues. I find that my anxiety increases with my weight. The bigger I am the more miserable I get and the more anxious. When I lose weight I feel good about myself and relax. I've never struggled with depression so I don't know if that is effected as well, but I assume it could be.

Like another poster said, depression and anxiety aren't issues that typically "go away", so there may be no improvement if you wait a while. Only you can know what's right and I encourage you to talk to your doctor and make the best decision for you, but that was just my 2 cents.

[thiswaywardgirl 3]

Thank you for giving valuable perspective everyone,this helps dramatically.I will take all this into consideration and speak the bariatric team about my concerns.Thank you!!!!????

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