Depression before Surgery

[stsch06 15]

My Gastric Bypass Surgery has been approved for 9/19/16. I am excited, but at the same time I feel like I'm falling into a depression. Ever since my mother passed away, I've been battling with food addiction. The thought of giving up my "best friend" (food) seems to be overwhelming me. I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety and my way of coping with it is eating. The very thought of giving up food makes me want to eat it more. I'm terrified of what life will look like not having food to depend on. I was doing fine with everything and then all of it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm getting a lot of anxiety about surgery/post surgery and I'm very overwhelmed. Has anyone experienced this before? How are you getting through it? Any suggestions?

[KristenLe 5,980]

I would encourage you to go to therapy with someone familiar with Bariatrics and eating disorders. I didn't feel like I had a food addiction but went to therapy to work on emotional eating (mindless eating/cravings). Stay strong!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

I'm no shrink, but I am a person, albeit one speaking while knowing so little about you.

First off, my guess is that you're not dependent on foood, but on the numbness and oblivion overdosing on food delivers. My other guess, certainly related, is that it isn't food you want, but mass quantities are. The good news is that you don't even have to give it up now. We're usually more successful at giving up what isn't good for us only after we have its replacement. As you say yourself, you're fearing another blank space. You've already experienced it when your mother died; you had nothing to soothe the hurt or fill the void (I do know first-hand that nothing can substitute for your mother), so you turned to food, readily available as it was and is.

Why not try paper and pen to work on a list of things that give you pleasure or capture your interest and imagination? They should be activities rather than objects, activities that really would absorb you, take you outside yourself and connect you more to the larger world? Perhaps there's something you've wanted to study or learn to do. It might also be volunteer work in an area that matters to you. It can be as simple as getting out for an hour or so exploring a neighborhood you don't know well but you've been curious about. Whatever you choose to turn your attention to should be a genuine interest, not mere busy work. The latter would not fulfill you in any way.

Second, is it really food that you want as a fill-in for your mother? There are other things in your history together that will be far more gratifying, warming, nourishing, et al. Giving more attention to any of them will make you smile; the food doesn't do that, does it? True, the smiles will often be tinted with some sadness, but that's fine. The sadness tells you that you have so much that was good. If, on the other hand, you feel that you didn't get things that you needed when you were younger, you're an adult now. You can begin steps to provide those things for yourself. They come in the form of things we do for ourselves and from the relationships we develop beyond the ones we were born into. You and people you choose to have in your life will be far more comforting than food. It's a necessity, not a friend.

Are you seeing a therapist regularly? Are you taking medication?

Everything and anything can be scary. The only way to get past it all is to do something differently and to take risks. Tiny risks are great. Y'know, you've already taken one by posting here. Give yourself credit for it.

Edited August 16, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch